Archive for August, 2002
Rambling
As I sit here, listening to some music, chubs just finished nursing and fell asleep so Matt took him so they could go both sleep downstairs.
No one seems to be online, which makes for a lonely online experiance right now.
I have been browsing the web tonight, I see a lot of talented sites. Much better than my own heh.
I did another theme for Wisdom but ehhh, not sure if I like it at all. Seems like only 3 people out of over 20 want me to keep Wisdom, doesn’t exactly make me wanna keep it. Actually, I do want to keep it but perhaps it needs a fresh start. Who knows what I will do…
I had done a new layout for Pagan Voice and I don’t think I even got one comment on it from any of the bloggers. I need to remove a few who have not posted in quite awhile. Sometimes it is so hard to do projects when I have friends involved. It makes me feel bad to enforce rules or requirements.
I am going to delete Acquire tonight.
I need to put up a new picture for Imagination.
I just… need a lot of things don’t I?
archived under: Thoughts
Everything
It’s sad, I know I will get a ton of emails from people wanting to read this entry and yet, my normal entries that mean a hell of a lot more to me, get ignored.
I am so beyond fustrated with everything.
We have no money for anything, I am sick of OSN and dealing with how to make it stand out among the sea of likeminded sites.
For the first time in 3 years I got 2 shirts and bottoms when I had gone to Illinois. I can’t afford the $40 for ghetto glasses that I need.
I feel so desperatly alone all the time. I try to talk to people, my family, my online friends, since all of my “real” life friends do not exsist, when I moved from Tucson, I was all but forgotten and here in Ohio….what a joke.
The only thing going for me is being a mother. Without that….I would be nothing at all.
I had started some projects here at my domain that started to do well, now, I am lucky if anyone does anything at all. I have a bunch of hostees, does anyone think to even email me or IM or just a quick “yeah thanks for hosting me” nope. I can see why Jenn decided to get a new domain and make it closed to hosting and have it totally personal.
I just…don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I have no one to really talk to. I have no place to go. It’s bad enough I have literally NO ONE to discuss my parenting beliefs on, wait, not true, I can tell people how I feel, then I get bitched at, put down, looked down at….no one feels the way I do.
I used to write… stories… poetry… anything really. I haven’t written since I was 17 years old. It just feels like my emotions, my words, have no way of escaping, as if everything is trapped within.
I am tired of people trying to tell me I am having post partum depression when I tell them how I feel. I do not have that. The only things I am depressed about is money and lack of friends/family around. Sure, I am fustrated with OSN. I really put a lot into it. Heh, I wonder what would happen if I just closed it?
Eh, I suppose its one of those things where, some sites work, some don’t. I get so fustrated so fast. I wonder why that is.
I really haven’t said much in this entry but bitching.
Well, if I think of more to add, I will.
If I actually gave you access it is because you took the time to email me for it which gives me the impression you will take the time to give me a well thought out comment.
archived under: Thoughts
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