Basic Rambling

Lets see here…

Work Things

I upgraded blog script to newest version — Madhoo
I set up the Services portion of OSN.
Emailed prospective clients back.
Called temp agency yet again, still no openings.
Pondering the possibility of permitting small image or text advertisements since I average 300 – 450 visitors a day.

OSN Things

Don’t know why it took me so long to finally do, but I took 30 minutes to be XHTML Validated and 3 minutes to be CSS Validated.  It actually was fun for me. I also compacted the sidebar a bit and added subpages and updated those subpages.
Removed a couple more hostees. Still waiting to be contacted by two of them.
I added a Weather section in my sidebar.
Added extra linkback buttons.

Other Things

I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. Maybe I will make a pizza because I do have a bar of cheese somewhere. Or maybe the chicken mushroom noodle thingy.

Daniel just hasn’t been his normally perky self the past few days. More cranky. He totally had a meltdown today because the bread (out of buns) his hotdog was in, split at the bottom. I was on the phone with my sister at the time and even she said it was just so sad. I wonder if the weather is bothering him? I know he tends to get really cranky when it is humid outside.

Lastly

In the extended area are some layouts that OSN used (well one of them) and a bunch I started and didn’t finish or finished but never used. I wouldn’t mind if someone wanted to buy one off of me or wanted me to do something similar for their website.

Read the rest of this entry »

Really Fustrated

I am beyond fustrated right now. I called so many places, emailed so many places, and either they aren’t hiring or no response back. I don’t have the transportation to work two hours away. I do not have anyone here to take me to these places that ARE hiring to apply and interview. I feel so utterly alone right now. I look at my sleeping son, and wonder how the hell I managed to get into this situation. I feel like the skills I do have are pointless. Why did I teach myself html, css, all of that jazz? Why did I teach myself about computers? It’s all pointless. The really sad thing is that I just want to help people. I love websites, I love the internet. I see some of the local buisness websites and want to cry. I want to fix them. A few months ago I actually called and emailed some of them. Just asking if they needed someone to help with their sites. I even (when my sister was still here and would drive me places) asked at a local shop about their website and got the cold shoulder. Yet they wonder why they recieve little or no actual business through their sites. How can I say nicely “I’m sorry but your website sucks. Neon purple against neon blue is not what end users want to see”

I am rambling I know.

It’s sad when I can’t even get a job at the local fast food places. Apparently they want the highschool students, not a young mother. Even in the mall. They want to hire people who will purchase their merchandise. Not people who need to support their families.

I really am trying not to sink under all of these thoughts. I am trying to keep the hope that I will get hired somewhere. I am trying not to think that 7 months the lease is up and we will have to move. Most likely out of this state to somewhere more affordable. I am trying not to have a panic attack that I will have no where to go with my son.

I feel like I am not making any sense. I am just so utterly stressed out right now. I feel so pressured. Even with my “peer” domains out there. I can’t compete with them. I have a child. I have different beliefs. I don’t understand people having fights over whose Iframe and “vector” is more original.

Ugh. I need to stop now before I sound totally crazy.

I did however, open the Services Section so if anyone wants to check that out, by all means.

On the plus side, Daniel is getting better about doing small sentences. Today it was “Hey mine!” (he was saying that because I had moved the apples lol)

I need to get centered somehow. I am not normally this tense and pissy. I am normally a quite perky glittery person. Really. Some of y’all might remember the days where I would laugh for hours on end. I was a happy person.

Centering. Oh yes. Must schedule that in.

Wow

I can not even come close to expressing the gratitude I feel right now. Lemme tell y’all. The internet… isn’t full of deviod humans. It isn’t just text on a screen.

Human generosity. I went between sobbing like a nut (well it is that time ahem cough female month yeah) and shrieking hysterically on the phone to my twin sister and to my friend Mary. Then the hours of talking to Miss Gina who shrieked with me.

Thank you so much. You all know who you are!!!

On to other things, Matt has been working with Daniel more on expanding his vocabulary. The new joy involves the word “mine” oh yes, what is more fun than a two year old learning the meaning and word “mine”? Nothing. Really lol.

If it is still nice outside tomorrow, I want to go to the big park, it’s about a mile from here… maybe a bit less actually.

I am a bit perkified from all the stuff tonight, plus I had some of that new Pepsi Edge. Really does taste like normal pepsi. Interesting stuff.

I am just babbly. MuseLog has really been doing good which is just thrilling. Tomorrow is a New Moon so I want to do something for that.

I called around and a few stores seem to be starting to hire for their seasonal positions. I want to get an application in at the following:

Illuminations
WaldenBooks
Yankee Candles

I am also going to whip out the phone book and just call every single bookstore in the area and see if they are hiring. Gina also polished up my resume. So I refreshed that on sites like monster.com ‘n such. I am also going to call a few hotels in the area as well.

Theoretically I could still be called back from the interview I had a few days ago, but I am not getting my hopes up on that.

Anyway, I just have been thinking lately… I just don’t want to deal with problems. As in people’s issues with me, if anyone does. Putting me down, making me more upset, assuming things about me… complete waste of energy.

As Gina said in an earlier comment, I don’t write every little thing about my life. Don’t assume I am sitting here doing nothing all day just bitching how my life sucks. Sure I tend to write about the bad things in my life, I probably should take the time to write about how lovely my son is and about the lovely Lammas cards I got from friends. I just tend to keep that stuff inside to savor it.

Robyn had me put up the page where I list all of my domain hosting services. Nothing fancy by far, and I still need to get the form in working order.

Hopefully with the impending holiday season arriving, more places will start hiring nearby. lol one of these days I will have a car and then I will have the ability to work all over!

Ok time to get some rest.

Worn Out…

Some hostees have left OSN, umm have wicked cramps.

I just haven’t been in any sort of mood to talk lately.

I did a design job for two header images for Madhoo. So I am so relieved, I am going to have to go the grocery store later this week because now I can buy food for the next few days!

I had a job interview for a receptionist type job earlier this week. I don’t feel it went well.

I have a huge rant stored as a closed entry, it touches on a lot of things, lots of cussing involved. I’m not sure people would want to read that sort of thing lol.

I am just trying to not go into a huge depression about my situation right now. I emailed my resume out to a few places, local libraries and such.

Hmmm, I guess that is it for now.

MuseLog — Pagan Journaling Community

MuseLog.com is offically open. MuseLog.com is a pagan journaling community, ML was created to cultivate a community for Pagans by Pagans. Although we know there is more to life than our religion, we think it’s important to keep a journal to work through thoughts, share our beliefs, and have a place to write about our spirituality.

New Sunny Design

Uhhh yeah the other layout was up what 2 maybe three days heh.

I hope everyone likes. The pictures are from an image I took late yesterday evening on my walk with my son.

Fustration

I am just so utterly fustrated lately. Beware of heavy profanity heh.

I am tired of people having little hissy fits over me adopting out my fanlistings. I’m so sorry, but bitching at me is not going to make me lean in your favor. Gods forbid I am not online every single moment of the day to respond to an email or forum post about the fanlistings. I have a son to take care of. I am currently in a bad living situation. Fanlistings are not my main priority.

Some people might know me from the work I do on Pick-Me. I also feel bad about that because I do SO MUCH OF THE WORK and I don’t get reconized for it or a thank you or gods forbid paid on a regular basis for what I do.

I really wish people who claim their site validates CSS and/or XHTML actually uhhh DO! I can understand some subpages not fully validated or a blog entry messing up your XHTML validation but when it comes to core coding… come ON! I don’t care IF it validates as much as if you CLAIM IT DOES and it doesn’t.

I am tired of people copying my domain name. Yeah. This one. The one I got back in November of the year 2001. Almost FOUR FUCKING YEARS. Sure copy my brilliance.

Along those lines. I am so fucking sick of people who can’t come up with a SINGLE ORIGINAL THOUGHT in their fucking heads. Is it THAT hard to stop being a fucking sheep?

I am tired of people associating themselves with things I do. You didn’t help me. You didn’t stay up all night just to make sure that last page was perfection.

I am pissed that we have a president, I use that term every so loosely, that screwed up the economy SO FUCKING BAD that parents like myself can’t get a fucking job for even fast food to support our children.

I am beyond exhausted from dealing with people who don’t know a fucking thing about me. Guess what? Reading my blog every so often doesn’t even let you into 1% of what is going on in my life or what I am thinking. READ ME. That site says it all without all the cussing I most likely would have inserted. 

Those of you who DO know me, those of you that I share my world with. You know how hard I fucking work to keep my son happy, healthy, fed, safe, and clean.  Those of you who aren’t parents, who assume you know everything, you have NO FUCKING CLUE what it is like to give up your entire being, your heart and soul to this small child. So fucking selfish in your worlds where your concerns are based on your selfish needs. (Mind you this is directed to those who make fucking stupid assumptions when it comes to being a parent)

I have every single right in the world to be pissed off and fustrated. I was refused my rightful promotions at my previous job, the “reasons” included not having my own personal vehicle and because I had a small child. That I wouldn’t be able to focus soley on selling the clothing. Uh yeah. The people they ended up promoting that had their own vehicles and child-less? Let’s see, the one decided suddenly to move across the country, the other? Decided one day to literally stop showing up to work. Good choices *clap clap* great management skills. I also found out that since I left that job, their sales and credit card numbers have dwindled considerably in that store.  Besides the point I suppose.

New Grunge Design

New layout up yes indeedy!

I am still feeling crappy from this never going away cold, so in case you haven’t gotten an email back from me, its because umm I really haven’t checked my email but tomorrow I will very much open thunderbird and go through all the emails!

Rick James Died

Rick James of Superfreak fame has passed away :(

He died on Friday, from “natural causes”.. he was a very young 56.  This is just so sad.

Learn to Spell!

*shakes head*

People. It’s spelled “THE” NOT “TEH”

It isn’t cute. Get a fucking dictionary.

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