Happy New Year

Happy New Year!! I hope 2005 is better than ever!

Mary wanted me to write down at least three new year’s resolutions so here we go! Oh you can add yours in the comments!
 
1. Get Healthy! I need to drink more water, consume less commercially prepared foods, and moderate proportions
 
2. Get Back in Touch with my Spiritual Self! I need to focus a time every day to meditate and give thanks to the Goddess
 
3. Realise I am NOT a Bad Person! I need to let people compliment me instead of down playing it, I need to let myself feel proud with a customer talked to me for over 30 minutes today saying what a fantastic personality I have lol, I need to not take to heart all the verbal abuse and emotional abuse that is in my life. That it’s ok for me to be alone.
 
4. Make my bedroom my peaceful relaxing area, even though the computer and tv have to be in here, I need to make it calming.

So? C’mon! What are at least three resolutions!

Fruit and Vegetables

What is (or are) your favorite fruit and vegetable and why?

Hurt

It’s starting to really hit me how Matt and I are over.

I am so freaked and panicked because of how my father treats me in front of my son. Example: last night my father was cussing about finding a lid, I asked him to not swear in front of my son and that I would find his lid, he then raised his hand and told me he was going to hit me if I didn’t move. Daniel went hysterical, I called my sister and just sobbed and sobbed.

I am trying so hard right now and I have no one. No family. No friends. I am so utterly alone. Nothing good is happening. I am pathetic. I shouldn’t even exisit. Everyone ends up hating me sooner or later. I do no good for anyone.

Chubs

Yarn… Pictures… Wow

Oh yes, a lot of pictures… beware!
   

Yay! Tulips!!
 

Yarn! From my lovely Pippi Knee Socks! She even included magnets and a small sample of another colorway! I about fainted!
 

Cake

What kind of cake should I make for Daniel’s 3^rd birthday tomorrow?

Small Food Changes

I have switched to skim milk and I no longer buy soda-pop. I have drank just about three 16.9oz bottles of water so far today. It actually tasted good! Yay Aquafina! Tonight I am going to make pasta with a pesto sauce, chicken breasts, bell pepper, onion, and tomato.

Happy Birthday!!

Today is my son’s third birthday!!

So far I have been up early and made him a huge breakfast. Scrambled eggs with cheese, bell pepper, onion, and cubed potatoes, a piece of whole wheat toast with strawberry preserves, some actual strawberries, and juice.

Pain

I broke my finger… again.

Damn bedskirt! You shall rot in the boiling depths of evil!

It hurts so bad right now.

Sprain

I think my finger is just sprained, it’s still bruised up but does not hurt as much.

Still… damn bedskirt!!

Picture Update

Since I was exhausted Sunday, yesterday, and had a migraine at work today *love my boss so much! Not only did she feed me her homemade swedish meatballs for lunch but nursed me through my agonizing migraine at work!* so here are just a bunch of pictures of my son’s 3^rd birthday cake, yarn (of course all yarn is from my lovely Pippi KneeSocks, snow, and all of that stuff!

Grocery Store

Hurry and tell me within the next hour and a half from the time of this post which is in CST lol, what I should purchase from the grocery store? I am talking healthy and specifics on what I should purchase and if you have a recipe in mind let me know!! I shall forever love and adore you!

Keep it down!

To the people in the apartment above us:

Stop screaming to convince your partner that you are having your fake orgasm!

There I am, using the bathroom cause you know sometimes a bladder gets full when I hear…

UHH UHHH UHHHHHHHHHHH like a dying female cow is being bitched smacked. Um. Stop. Really. Stop taking your sex lessons from porn.

Spring Design

Yep, new Spring design! I am just really craving springtime lately!

Do you believe Jesus died for your sins

So here I am at work… when one of the older sewer guys whose only here for a few weeks to get a few bucks before going back south… asks me:

“Sarah… do you go to church?”

I said, no I do not go to church. He then proceeds to ask me if I believed in God. I said why yes, I do believe there are Gods. Just that I don’t believe in the Christian ideal of “God”. He then asked why I don’t go to church. I said because I am not of those types of religions. He said he was once like that before he realised all along that Jesus was trying to save him.

He then asks me if I believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I responded, well… I believe there was a Jesus and he died on the cross. Maybe he believed he was dying to save people but I don’t think he died for me personally.

Uh yeah. So yeah. He’s the relative of my bosses aka owners of this business so I’m not all pissy about it since he’s older and they come from Tennessee and such. Still… what an odd way to start the day!

What’s for dinner

What are you making for dinner tonight?

Migraine

I have such a bad migraine. I took some medicine but it isn’t kicking in. Lot of pain.

Pagan at OSN

You must check out Pagan at OSN because it has been completely revamped!

Rambling

Today I worked, not for long just a half day. It’s been snowing like crazy, like a foot of snow I believe.

I mostly spent the day with Gina working on Pagan at OSN. We are just so proud of that site right now!

My sister will be moving back with her boyfriend at the end of the month. It will be nice to have an excuse to get out of this apartment with Daniel! Not to mention that she has the ability to take him to fun places.

Hmmm. Oh yes new OSN hostee!! Welcome Malory!!

I need more knitting ideas. Sadly Knitty only comes out four times a year. I also need to knit Amber some wee baby items!

Ok going to watch more Aladdin!

Sigh Work Crap

Please. Do not call me saying *sewer guy* said I didn’t call the guy who has to bore in the street. He never told me on Friday to call the guy. This morning he asked if someone had called him and I said I wasn’t sure. He never once said I needed to call or that I was supposed to call. He left a message and I guess we are waiting for bore guy to call back.

Don’t tell me “well no one DID call him Sarah” and make me feel like shit. He never told me. I am not going to assume to call the bore guy since maybe, just maybe since I have worked here that I’ve had to call him maybe 3 times total.

It’s the same with the JULIE marks. If no one tells me then I don’t know to call. I am not going to assume every single sewer call is going to end up to be a digging job and call JULIE.

I am just so tired of people getting pissed at me for not doing something when I wasn’t told to do it! I am tired of my bosses bitching about how dirty the office is all of the time. You hire two cleaning ladies who do a crappy job. They even clean your own home. It is not my responsibilty to mop and scour the floor of mud every day. By all means if you pay me an extra $200 a week I will do it no problem. Not to mention the bosses are rarely in the office.

I am tired of dealing with customers like just now, who call who say they are furious because the plumber *evil!Mark* came in with dirty boots on their light colored carpet.

Omgosh she just called back again about how hard it is to clean her carpet and we should have plastic “booties” and how we should make all of our plumbers clean their boots or bring a new pair of boots to each job. How she is so upset over her carpet.

Uh. If you have light carpet and know that a plumber or sewer person is going inside your house… put down a towel or something. Don’t keep calling back and wasting my time bitching about your light carpeting. I don’t care. I really do not care. Get hardwood floors then.

Oh did I mention that my father told me to find my own ride home from work? Again? Did I mention how I have no way of getting home?

Oh wait now the husband calls “we have decided to go with a different plumber…” for crying out loud it was like replacing a valve of some sort. I DO NOT CARE!!

I am so tense and upset.

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Personal

• Fought for a VBAC and lost
  "She proceeded to make the comment “I know the situation, and because of that I’m not feeling sympathetic” in reference to Sarah leaving the hospital AMA and not accepting a repeat c-section previously, and to the massive amounts of pain she was in."
• Vent - VBAC Scare Tactics
  "He then recanted and said, “well maybe it’s not a law, but I’ll tell you NO hospital will ALLOW you to VBAC without it”. Right ok, so first fear tactic and lie."
• I had TWO c-sections
  "It’s hard because sometimes I almost feel shame or guilt that BOTH of my c-sections were medically needed."
• Who Am I?
  "I went from a victim, a weak worthless nothing to a MOTHER. I went from being a punching bag to a protector and then lost myself yet again."

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