Wish You Were Here

After work (and a migraine) I came home and cleaned my bedroom and did more dishes and finally dived into The Beatles Anthology Dvd’s that my love Lisa Marie sent me! It’s a true friend that realises my Beatles obession (I used to always say that John Lennon was my personal god)! Then I laid in bed for the next 4 hours with a second migraine. Fantastic.

I’ve slowly decided to try and be vegetarian for the next few months and fell in tasty goodness with Quorn, it really is tastes, looks, and is texture wise, exactly like chicken! I am still so shocked! So I would love some vegetarian recipes that don’t include soy since I have a taste sensitivity to soy products or at the very least tofu, soy burgers, soy meat substitutes and the like.

After watching a few hours of my Beatles, I got the utterly insane idea to make it a self portrait night so the following are what happens with a ‘cedrin Sarah at 4am!

Click on the images to view full size and to navigate through the set.

High Road

I am so pleased that my new design is well recieved! Yeah… I be fancy.

Blessed Beltane today! I took Daniel to the forest preseve and we had a little walk (I had brought his bike with us).

I think I post too many photos.

I promise I will eventually have a more wordy entry, I suppose that so much is going on that I can’t focus on one single thing to write about. Stress ugh.

Making Memories of Us

New design. Joy. I’m still sick. Too tired to sleep if that makes sense. I slept until almost 6pm today since my father had taken Daniel to go see my grandmother. Then I made a trip to the mall to return the pink bra which decided to rip as well and got a store credit. Then I had to go back out in the pouring rain to Meijer to grab a few things. I need a cute umbrella, any suggestions?

Also here is a recent photo from the park.

Oh, if you have me linked, let me know! I would love to return the favor! I love linky goodness!

Click on the images to view the larger size. 
 

Sickness Sucks

I’m sick and Danny is sick and I am miserable and he is perky this sucks. I’m at work with a bag of cough drops and a cup of tea from the single tea bag I found. Ugh. Woe is me. Only…. 8 hours to go.

Morton Arboretum

I’m a Lyrical Poet

Fireflies

I didn’t get home until past midnight. I woke up an hour late this morning. I am so exhausted. Last night was so awesome though! We all (including Mary) went out and had coffee and we all talked and talked and everyone has learned the awesome power of the bunny ear quotations and the punch the chest thing I do. Good times. I feel more like I have a life since each Thursday afterwards, we go get coffee like normal people!

So today I am dragging mentally, but thankfully no one is here yet so I am slumped over all dramatically.

I can’t even think of anything else right now, I am so out of it.

Oh and I WON!!

The Truth Is

I am so exhausted. Matt picked the worst time to go batshit insane.

I am trying to figure out what to get for lunch, I am trying to stay awake, I have my codependency meeting tonight, I just ugh. Didn’t get any sleep because the damn cat is still in heat and rawrrr meowwww *full body slam* against my door ALL NIGHT LONG is getting old.

I can’t even think straight.

My boss went to go get me some sort of chicken (could be a part of a chicken or a sandwhich who knows) for lunch. Joy. I save money and get lunch!

Since apparently I can’t say this without having drama… I still need to get laid. I keep staring at every single male that I cross paths with and thinking very naughty thoughts. It’s been a year. A very longggg year.

Matter of Time (ETA Again)

I am slightly less pissed about the bank issue, I just had to realise I will be working a lot of Saturdays in my future to get caught up bill wise now because of this crap. No… not bitter.

I will be on skype sometime tonight so add me and all of that.

I am craving avacado with some salt but alas my child dumped ALL of my salt last night so I must buy some more. Woe is me.

I swear upon all that is holy that today is one of those days where I just need a few things:

1. I need to get laid in the worse way and that sadly, isn’t going to happen anytime soon (unless, like, you’re offering in which case, yeahhh baby).
2. I need to put away all the laundry so I don’t keep digging through the basket each morning.
3. I need more naughty skype loving.
4. I need avacado with salt (seriously just avacado and salt… with maybe crackers)
5. I need to rejoice in my American Idol tonight.
6. I need for all the farmer’s markets to open up.

Give me a hug…. or a naughty hug… or throw some glitter at me. It’s all good.

ETA 5:48p
I just got home and saw the fabulous comment from my ex (Danny’s father). He is “M” aka Matt.

Because apparently using the word naughty, enjoying coffee, and liking skype, it makes me a whore of some sort. Go figure.

ETA 4/19/06 2pm
Well… not enough to say to do another entry but wow… Matt has gone crazy in my comments. He had also IM’d me with the following spastic tidbits.

[18:37] matt: i want you to stop being a Bitch but we all cant have what we want and im not blaming you hell you blamed yourself
[18:37] matt: you just forget one thing Sarah its you inability to love someone that ultimately screws you in the end
[18:37] One Starry Mom: You are the only one that feels that way about me. I am not a bitch and I do not blame myself.
[18:38] One Starry Mom: I do not have an inability to love.
[18:38] matt: look the in the mirror
[18:38] matt: you have a big time problem
[18:38] One Starry Mom: No, I don’t
[18:39] matt: really so when i said sarah are you going to spend time with me on a fridat –sat night when you were home from work only time of the week you have to stayt up and talk you ignored me and played online hmmm wow i guess thats loving someone so much or when i begged you to tell me to stay and keep trying and i got nothing
[18:39] matt: but ya know what im dumb i was stupid maybe its all me i cant love hmmmm
[18:40] One Starry Mom: You were sending me mp3’s for crying out loud, it wasn’t a date.

What hurts the most is he tries to use me as an excuse for him not parenting his son. I’ve never stopped him from writing, emailing, calling, or visiting his child. I’ve never stopped him from sending clothing or money or ANYTHING to support his son. I am by no means perfect but I work full time and overtime each week, I take my son to the park for 1 – 2 hours every single day after work and take him with me EVERYWHERE. I teach him the fun stuff, this week, I’ve been teaching him the days of the week and months. I am not a bad parent. I am not a bad person. I like to think I am lovable. Just because I would like to have an adult relationship and yes…. have sex (LOTS AND LOTS OF NAUGHTY SEX YES PLEASE), and get married some day doesn’t mean I am a bad parent or person. Having him attack me through our FOUR YEAR OLD SON to try and validate himself is disgusting.

Oh wait, another fun tidbit (fuels the fire).

Matt (2:58:56 PM): change Daniels last name to yours since you take care of him and are the mommy and the daddy

Ain’t he classy?

This is sad, my first real flame war and it’s all from IRL crap not even ‘net drama.

ETA 4/20/06 8am
Since I know people will jump over David’s comment. I did email him back this morning to correct him on… a lot of things he mentioned.

1. Matt did cheat on me. He had a sexual relationship for three months with some customer when he was working at Kmart.
2. He has not put a full effort into contacting his son, also, I have said this before, I find it odd he can find $200 to visit but not even $5 to help support his son.
3. My sister did work when we lived in Columbus, we just do NOT get along if we live together.
4. Matt has been involved (in the four years total of Dan’s life) for a total of 1 yr 9 months. During the total four years he’s mailed one box of clothing.
5. Obviously Matt has some feelings towards me otherwise he wouldn’t have gone crazy over my “I need laid” part of my entry. I understand that but I shouldn’t have to censor myself because of HIS feelings about ME (hopefully someday heh) having a new relationship.

Matt isn’t really good at expressing himself. He typically resorts to personal attacks. It’s just how he is. There is no defending him though because he hasn’t tried. During almost the entire time we were together, I depended on my sister and father to help financially, ESPECIALLY after I became pregnant with our son (Matt didn’t get a job until I was about 4 months pregnant and he didn’t tell his family that I was pregnant, his mother wished me and my unborn child dead at the time). Matt needs to grow up. He isn’t 16 anymore and can prance around taking money from his ill mother, crashing on friend’s couches, and pretending he isn’t an almost 30 yr old man with a child he doesn’t see or support, no job, and no motivation to have a better future.

Over Six Fucking Cents

I just found out from the bank that they charged me a $33 overdraft fee because apparently after I made my deposit, a check went through and caused me to go over by SIX CENTS. I asked them to reverse it since it was after all, over SIX cents and they said because it was not a “bank error” that they would not reverse the charges.

So now that $33 that would have gone to groceries this week is gone. I have ONE meal left at home. I do not get paid until Friday. I am pretty much weeping at work and really willing the phone not to ring so I don’t sound insane when I have to answer it.

Over six cents. I am now out of $33 that I can’t afford.

I am really doing bad right now.

ETA
I called the 1 – 800 number for the second time about this just now and I’m explaining in great detail that I do not have a history of overdraft charges or overdrawn problems, that I have three accounts with them (2 checkings and a savings), she went to talk to a supervisor. She said that they will charge me $16 total instead of the whole fee. I guess it’s better than nothing right.

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