Second Chance

I’ve been doing nothing lately but working, I like to believe that I haven’t completely sucked or screwed up so far. Today I had off so I manged to do laundry and clean the kitchen, then tonight my sister treated my son to a hair cut, took everyone out to dinner, and bought me groceries. Good times!

Do you believe that people should get a second chance? It seems like the past few years have been filled with crumbling friendships and sometimes I have a moment of… not weakness exactly, but more so wistfulness of how things used to be. I miss being a part of a larger group. I wish it was easier to forget, to forgive, to pretend that I don’t feel as strongly as I do. I suppose sometimes you just can’t “go home”. Anyway, I would love to hear any and all “second chance” stories!

Nothing Better To Do

Ahhh the joy of staying up late, you can force a night owl to function like a normal “daylight” person but it feels so good to stay up when it’s pitch black outside! It doesn’t hurt that I am off work tomorrow. Once I actually have some money in the bank again I can finally go back to the glory of farm hunting, the Chicago Botanic Garden, and more!

I am having the weirdest emotional time lately… cracked out glitterized hormones? Perhaps. A lot of it is my son hollering in my ear right now, “ICE CREAM!” because well… I promised him ice cream after dinner. Speaking of my child, I asked him, “Hey babe, what are clouds made of?”, and he replied, “White things and… (in a dramatic whisper) CCCAANNDDYY!”. Yep. Anyway, I realize a lot of it is just the stressful transition of leaving a long time job and starting a new one and being freaking broke until I get my first glorious paycheck, and part of it is that my son is going through a “DADDDDYYY!” phase lately, which sucks, you know being that I am a single mother and his father is pretty much a pathetic lump of nothingness in our lives. Whatever… I have mommy powers according to the wee one so it’s all good. And as I declare daily, I can NOT be broken! Oddly enough, when I typed that, I wanted to do a finger snap in a Z formation…

Because I love them…. what are your favorite power ballad songs (especially from the 80’s!) ? I have an obscene love for Michael Bolton, but also would like to expand my already… rather large… power ballad podlet playlist.

Lastly, some photos.

I Can’t Live Without Your Love and Affection

A wee tiny entry, I now have 8 7 invites left to Pownce. Impress me and perhaps I will share.

Anyway, I have a 7am meeting at work (I am so not a morning person) so I am going to head off to bed but here are some recent photos, as always, feedback is very much appreciated!

The One Where I Cuss Alot…

What a long day it’s been! Let’s preface this with the fact that EVIL SATANIC SQUIRRELS ate through my sister’s one year old vehicle’s electrical system so while we wait to see how much the repairs will be, it was my day to take her to and from work since I had the day off. She works over an hour away. The drive up was fine, hanging out with her was fine, the day started out…. JUST FINE! If only we had known…. Anyway, I was driving around in the area because I had my camera gear with me and came across Lake Michigan! I found a lovely beach where Daniel and I walked, played in the water, took photos… I was using one of my polarizing filters being giddy over the joy of finding this beach of goodness, when I notice ohhh 30 minutes into it, that the fucking filter somehow FELL THE FUCK OFF into the LARGE LAKE! So I am woeful over that right now.

Ok whatever, we make the trek home, take a nap, go back up to get my sister. Again, aside from the fucking filter, the day is going pretty good. I make her drive my car since I was getting a touch of road glitter rage and thought perhaps it would be a wise move to be on the far side of my car horn, plus I wanted to take some photos.

We then pick up her fiance and decide to go to the delicious Olive Garden, on the way there we have to pass through this forest preserve area. I am clicking away happily with the glory that is my camera, suddenly I decide to take a crappy photo of this cop car just parked in one of the parking lot areas. Sure fucking enough the cop pulls her over for going 57mph in a 45mph zone. While she was driving my car… what are the odds? Thankfully I am fully legal and provided insurance and all of that jazz. Still… it put a damper on our moods to say the least.

We then go to Olive Garden… inhale a billion delicious breadsticks, about the end of our meal, her fiance was finished, had a little bit of food remaining on his plate, when my son turns to him and says in a dead serious child voice, “You better eat your food or I’m gonna be PISSED!”. That’s right, apparently am using the word “pissed” WAYYY too much when I’m… well… pissed… and he picked up on that apparently!

After that we went to the store, then back to her apartment for the awesomeness of So You Think You Can Dance. Also, obviously, new design is up. So I am going to go to bed, attempt to get some very well deserved sleep, and dream of glittery naughty things!

Almost a Dream

Not much is going on lately so here are two recent photos.

ETA

Well holy crap!!!! How awesome right!

Hey There

Ah yes, yet another mainly photo entry. I haven’t been doing much this week that would be interesting although this upcoming Saturday we will be going to the Bristol Ren Faire which should be tons of fun!

I am so overwhelmed lately. I can’t seem to get a grasp on anything lately. I’ve slacked off tremendously when it comes to personal friendships, I’ve started secluding myself and today while talking to my Jess, I started to finally figure out why. I still look for validation from other people, I always sort of felt if I was friends with a person from group 1, I couldn’t be friends with a person from group 2 simply because the two groups didn’t like each other. Making sense yet? Uhhh…. anyway…. I feel like I’m at the point where I am not going to limit my friendships due to the past (although there are some people I simply do not like and will not associate myself with them, that won’t change), and I am not going to limit myself based on other people’s preconceived notions on who I should talk to. It’s so insane that I am only NOW realizing this at 25 years of age!

Well here are the photos, I would love any feedback on them! I was so beyond excited to see not one but TWO recent photos I shot (funny enough, both of my son as well!) have been spotlighted/featured lately! The first one is “Never Alone” which is spotlighted over at Utata and the second is “Sparkler” which was featured over at Photografr! I am so beyond thrilled over this.

We had stumbled across this sandcastle, it makes me wonder who made it, how long it took to create… it’s very nice!

This just cracked me up!

My child LOVES the water!

My sister’s hair (and mine!) is naturally curly and I love how the curls sort of “captured” some of the golden late afternoon light.

Ignored

Do you ever give anything to the homeless (money, food, etc) ? I never have, partly because I don’t trust that some of them are actually homeless, partly because some can be very rude, although sometimes I feel like by not helping that I will somehow miss the chance to help someone that truly needs it. I never know what the right choice is for that situation.

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Personal

• Fought for a VBAC and lost
  "She proceeded to make the comment “I know the situation, and because of that I’m not feeling sympathetic” in reference to Sarah leaving the hospital AMA and not accepting a repeat c-section previously, and to the massive amounts of pain she was in."
• Vent - VBAC Scare Tactics
  "He then recanted and said, “well maybe it’s not a law, but I’ll tell you NO hospital will ALLOW you to VBAC without it”. Right ok, so first fear tactic and lie."
• I had TWO c-sections
  "It’s hard because sometimes I almost feel shame or guilt that BOTH of my c-sections were medically needed."
• Who Am I?
  "I went from a victim, a weak worthless nothing to a MOTHER. I went from being a punching bag to a protector and then lost myself yet again."

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