WordlessWednesday: Hair Fluffs

Ah my 2 1/2 year old son, with his Robert Plant-esque blonde curls…

Blast from the Past: Old OSN Designs

Here’s a TON of screenshots and such of some past designs (remember when I used to “skin” lol!) OSN has had over the past 10 1/2 years! I wonder how many of you remember some of these?! This literally is just a handful, I have hundreds more but these were the ones I found that I didn’t need to re-code to see the full design.

Here they are in no particular order or size!

Leap into Spring: Finale

I’ve really enjoyed participating in the Leap into Spring photography challenged hosted by LiveandLoveOutLoud.com, BumblesandLight.com, and ProjectAlicia.com! I’m already looking forward to the Summer challenge!

So here’s a recap on some of my favorite images from each week (the only week I skipped was Easter/Eggs).

Sunshine/Light

Blossom

Rain/Water

Grass/Green

Leap into Spring: Grass/Green

Bubbles

May 2012 Julep Maven It Girl Box

If you love getting to try out new nail polishes then I suggest you sign up for Julep’s Maven Program! I’ve been getting the boxes for a few months now ($19.99 a month) and have found that I love their polishes and hand products!

Here are some photos of the polishes I’ve received the past few months:

I’ve also gotten full size hand care and nail care products and samples of other hand/nail care products. Their roller-ball cuticle oil is my favorite! I have 3 bottles of it!

I thought I would just do a quick post on what I got for this month’s box and by all means if you’re interested go and sign up! I would love it if you did it via my affiliate link: Julep Maven because I can then earn rewards. I’m all about reward systems! Once you become a Julep Maven, you get a personalized 20% code that you can use on any/all of your Julep purchases.

So this is what I got in May’s “It Girl” box!

• Ashley – Sunset orange with a metallic micro-shimmer
• Nessa – Bright lemon sorbet shimmer
• Kylie – Sultry violet magnetic polish — with separate magnet
• sample of pedi creme

All of the polishes had great formulas and I loved with Kylie that it’s a great polish even without the magnetic affect, however that being said, the magnet for me was super weak and really didn’t do much even after holding it close for over 30 seconds! I’ve had better results with my other magnetic polishes in 5 – 10 seconds, with super bold magnetic patterns.

Also, the brush that came with Ashely was all sorts of messed up, made applying the polish almost impossible and the end result looked tacky, even though the polish itself is a fantastic color.

Here are some swatches*!

Kylie after the magnet had been applied:

For the month of May, by using my referral link, you can use the code MAYINTRO to get your first box for a PENNY!

If you have any questions about any of the products or anything really, let me know!

*all photos shot super quickly on my point and shoot!
{just a member of the program, no freebies given to me!}

Life Updates

Figured I do a “life update” sort of post. Partially because lists are awesome and partially because not a heck of a lot is going on!

• I got rid of Food at OSN (not like anyone was really aware of it!) and will just go back to posting my recipes and such here.
• I’ve been back on Weight Watchers Online for about a month now and have lost 12 lbs!
• How does one remove super deep and large bush stumps without paying a fortune to a landscaper / owning a bobcat?
• It’s almost farmer’s market time! SO EXCITED!
• I decided to get an account over at ThisLife based on my friend’s recommendations on her post, This Little Life of Mine: Keeping My Life’s Memories Safe with ThisLife! LOVE IT SO MUCH! I had to get their largest plan naturally lol!
• I bought two new books that I’m super excited about, Deadlocked: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel and Beyond the Sling!
• My heart is just… overwhelmed with emotion for Diana, if you aren’t up to date on what’s going on for her, please offer your support for her and her unborn twin boys. She wrote a post about the current situation they are going through. The babies were born this morning. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts.
• Haven’t heard from my mother after the last post where I shared the comments she had made, maybe it’s finally over with!
• As some of you may be aware of, @kitchenwitch and I aren’t on speaking terms anymore (oh drama!). Why? Who knows (not me, that’s for sure) but alas, lesson learned. If a person isn’t the same as they portray themselves online (I guess I wasn’t special enough to get the online persona)? Probably is a red flag. Eh, doubt anyone really wants to know more than that.
• Got my oldest son Daniel set up with an IEP at his school, thinking happy shiny positive thoughts.
• Also got my oldest son his very own iPhone! Due in part because we washed his iPod touch and in part because I’m a paranoid parent and like being in contact with him when he goes over to his friends houses (he doesn’t bring it to school… unless it was a field trip maybe).
• Got myself the iPhone 4s! I previously had the iPhone 3gs. I upgraded for the camera, naturally lol. Gave my old phone to Tristan with all of his apps. I still need a case for it. Hard to find something purple and/or glittery! I just want something that is fantastic.
• Been loving my shows lately! Especially Fringe, The Good Wife, Revenge, Missing, Awake, and Once Upon a Time!
• A friend of mine has an AMAZING photo collage template up for a free download. So go download it! She also wrote a tutorial on how to use the template!
• I already got my May “It Girl” Julep Box! Just need to do some swatches and then I’ll post about it! Just a bit said that I missed out on the add-on polishes because the site wasn’t working for me at the time.
• In World of Warcraft, I’m going to freaking lose it. I’ve spent MONTHS trying to get Vyragosa with NO luck! That damn dragon is all I need to finish Frostbitten.
• The husband and I are still pondering if we want to have a third child within the next two years. What made YOU decide to have more kids or to STOP having more children?
• I bought the domain starrymom.com awhile back, trying to figure out what to do with it. Any suggestions?
• I really want to get another tattoo, just not sure WHAT to get.
• I miss the show Wife Swap.
• Does anyone watch The Voice? Tony Lucca FTW!
• After going 13 years without central air conditioning, I appreciate it all the more… especially when it’s 83 degrees with 58% humidity!

Bonus photos!

Leap into Spring: Rain/Water

Songs I’m Loving

I thought it’d be fun to share some of the songs I’m really into lately (well the videos I could find anyway!). So here they are in their YouTube glory! Oh and yes. I am a HUGE Glee fan.

Follow-Up to “My Mom Abused Me”

My mother left numerous comments on the post I wrote a few days ago, Yeah, My Mom Abused me, How About Yours?”.

At first I left them published but then they got more and more… weird. So I put them back as pending. I know some people already have read them while they were still published or they were subscribed to the comments so they got them in their email. I’ve since decided that since she posted public comments on a public post that it’s appropriate to share them, I’m sure some of you are curious what her response was.

I’ve not edited them in any way, not even for grammar or punctuation. I apologize for the all caps, that’s just how she writes online. I did bold the parts I thought were the MOST… bizarre… to me anyway.

I know not everyone agrees with my decision to post ANY of my past, much less the response I’ve gotten from my mother, however, I am doing my best to process and heal. For me that means no longer hiding it. I still do feel a lot of shame stemming from everything though. I feel dirty and WRONG because I know now, more so than I did THEN, how very wrong it was to have a parent do and say the things that were done and said to me. I’ve not brought up her relationship with my brother because there really wasn’t one. He left when he was 13yrs old and was basically raised by our father. To my knowledge, he really hasn’t had a ton of contact with her since.

Also, funny enough, I found a thread on a message board about her, how she stole, lied, and committed fraud (for gardening things and on Ebay). That was weird for me, seeing OTHER people see her as an online “troll”. Weird to have that as your parent!

Some parts of comments are a bit confusing (stuff she brings up) so I explained them using footnotes.

I’m not surprised she brought my father up and even though we’ve had our issues, he has since than more than made up for it by letting my child and I live with him, rent-free, for six years (when I was a single mom to DS1) and has helped me a lot over the past 10 years. He also has never lied to me about the past, made excuses for his past behavior, or threatened to kill me or expose me to sex shops or pornography as a child. He was only in my childhood up until the age of 10 and I saw him sporadically after that until I was 20 years old with my then new baby and moved into a 3-bedroom apt with him and my son’s bio-dad.

Also? She only lives 7hours and 45minutes away from me. We live in the day and age of mail service, email, video, phone, etc.

1. Not true. I have been diagnosed with depression though, no wonder heh [↩]
2. Sadly, she did. This is right when I got out of the hospital for mono. I was on the couch when my lawyer called me about it and then ended up staying at my best friend’s house because I was so scared. [↩]
3. This also isn’t exactly true. I was the driver but my brother, sister, and brother’s friend were in the car. Brother’s friend pulled the wheel. I hit some concrete and broke the axle. I took responsibility and admitted fault. [↩]
4. Yep, she got less than two hundred a week in child support which she would spend on china or linens. She didn’t have a job from when I was about 11 until long after I left at 17 years old. Which meant my sister and I didn’t have money for lunches or clothes. Generally my father would send large checks for birthdays and holidays so we could buy clothes and such for the rest of the year. I also worked two jobs, Taco Bell and Baskin Robbins yo! [↩]
5. Yep, she did say she dreamed of burning me alive to two police officers. It’s how she ended up in the psych ward for 48hrs and how my sister and I ended up in the shelter the first time. [↩]
6. Not bipolar, I’ve been tested because I do worry since my mother is bipolar. I have been diagnosed with depression though, not “deep” depression. I also have issues with PTSD and anxiety after the traumatic pregnancy and birth of my second child. [↩]
7. I doubt the police officers that picked me up from my then boyfriend’s house, who would later end up being the bio-father to my first son, would make that up. I was even tested and searched for cocaine because they said “Your mother told us you were dealing and doing cocaine so we had to pick you up.” [↩]
8. I’ve always said I have issues moving on from my traumatic past. Yep! [↩]
9. Huh? No words for this one. [↩]
10. She didn’t take her medication during this period of time, it wasn’t until a long time after did she take medication consistently [↩]
11. She lived 4 hours away from me for over a year. She made the journey to visit my niece. Ok… [↩]
12. I really am lost here. I RARELY talked back. I wasn’t perfect. I ran away from home at 17 because I couldn’t handle waiting until I was 18. I’ve been arrested when I was a minor. Yep [↩]
13. Uh. Talking about MY direct past isn’t something I can be sued for, pretty sure about that, however, bring it on. [↩]
14. Covered this already. [↩]
15. Again with my sister? [↩]
16. Wow. My husband just LOVED this bit. [↩]
17. Not sure where this all comes from. My son has been in school the whole year, granted I have issues with the education but that’s my perspective. Really confused about this. [↩]
18. Again, confused. One of these days I’ll post photos of their overflowing bookcases and closets. Not sure where that all stems from. [↩]
19. Wow, THIRD TIME about my sister. Not sure when she’s been there for me much less during a crisis situation. She did help pay my co-pays to my then OB when I was pregnant with my oldest 10+ years ago though. She also paid for an emergency tooth extraction in 2006 as well for me. [↩]
20. More about my sister. I guess they had an epic conversation about me apparently. Didn’t know I lost her either. News to me. [↩]

So basically, I’m an awful daughter, sister, mother, and wife. My makeup is destroying EVERYONE. OH and everything was my fault. Gotcha! It’s all so clear now! Oh and I’ll end up alone forever. I know that’s a bit sarcastic. Coping mechanism for the win!

Seriously though, I didn’t expect an apology. I do wonder why she skipped over all the sexual stuff she said/did (Honestly? That wasn’t even the worst of it, I only covered one year in that post). I actually don’t grasp 80% of what she said because it just didn’t make sense to me. I really wasn’t surprised how many times she brought up my twin sister. She’s always made it crystal clear that she favored her.

I’m not sure how I, as a child, could have provoked her enough, what I DID to cause this. Seriously, how did 4yr old ME somehow FORCE my mother to toss cold medicine in my face (when I refused to drink it) and call me a little bitch. Or a 6yr old me being told (as I was told my entire life with her) that she wished she had an abortion with me. Even when I was a teenager… I didn’t talk back or put her down. I recall a few of my friends witnessing some of her… moments. Yes I ended up running away. Yes I ended up dropping out of high school (I then worked 2 jobs). I’m not sure how that “earned” or “deserved” what went on from birth until 18.

I do wonder if I can handle posting about my past, any part of it, again. It’s hard to open up like this and feel judged for it. I know it has to make some people feel uncomfortable, especially if they grew up in a healthy or even semi-healthy environment with their parents or caregivers. However, maybe someone can relate to what I went through and know they aren’t alone.

I promise, I’ll go back to my fluffy posts from now on!

• WordlessWednesday: Hair Fluffs
• Blast from the Past: Old OSN Designs
• Leap into Spring: Finale
• Leap into Spring: Grass/Green
• Bubbles
• May 2012 Julep Maven It Girl Box
• Life Updates
• Leap into Spring: Rain/Water

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