Happy 4^th Birthday!

Today is my son’s FOURTH BIRTHDAY! I love him SO much and he truly is the light of my life. I still can’t believe he went from a wee 8lb 3oz baby to this amazing, loving, smart child.

Yay Boobies!

Dunno if y’all knew this but I am pro-breastfeeding. I don’t agree with formula for common usage, it should be left for those rare special cases where breastmilk can not be used/found/given to child. I feel that children should self wean. My son self weaned right as he turned 4 years old. I feel that America has sexualized the breasts so much (and to be honest America is really uncomfortable with sexuality in general) that women don’t realize what purpose their breasts are for. Only 1 – 3% of women can not breastfeed. The rest, in my eyes, either breastfeed or choose not to. Now what really pisses me off are the ones that do not breastfeed for invalid selfish reasons. Such as:

I don’t want saggy boobs omg! Well then don’t even get pregnant because my breasts sagged from pregnancy swelling them up 5 times their original size

My breasts are for my MAN Wow, so you would forsake the health of your child for a man’s (who also is forsaking the child’s health) sexual pleasure?

It will hurtttt! Not if you have a proper latch. Usually it takes practice to get and recognize a good latch, try the LLL, read books, call a Lactation Consultant

I was raised on formula and I’m just fine. For now perhaps, you haven’t lived out your entire life, women who were formula-fed as infants have higher rates of breast cancer as adults. For both premenopausal and postmenopausal breast cancer, women who were breastfed as children, even if only for a short time, had a 25% lower risk of developing breast cancer than women who were bottle-fed as infants. (from 101 Reasons

Read some more reasons to breastfeed and common excuses people use to not breastfeed.

Read 101 reasons to breastfeed.

It’s disturbing to me how people can get so very defensive about this topic. It makes me believe that the person has a lot of unresolved guilt for their parenting choices. If you make a parenting choice, stand by it, don’t attack other people because you are not secure as a parent.

I am emotional about this topic, so now I shall direct you to Heather’s awesome entry (loves on her) which has more stats and figures and such.

LiveJournal Breastfeeding Ban

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Carrie Patterson
Executive Director, ProMoM.Org
http://www.promom.org
carrie@promom.org
678 – 513-6329

Popular Blogging Site Restricts Some Breasts
LiveJournal cites breastfeeding images as ‘inappropriate’ and sends mothers to the virtual restroom

Women on the popular blog site LiveJournal are calling foul at the company’s decision to brand images of breastfeeding as ‘inappropriate.’ Many users of the site have joined together to urge LiveJournal’s parent company SixApart to address their concerns and reevaluate the policy.

Small “userpics” of no more than 100 by 100 pixels represent LiveJournal members throughout the site. Users can define one of these icons as “default icon” which plugs it into the user’s public profile. These default icons were originally not permitted to be ‘sexually explicit or graphically violent.’ Recently, icons which depicted breastfeeding were cited as being ‘inappropriate’ by the LiveJournal abuse team, a group of volunteers who monitor complaints on the site.  After clarification was requested, LiveJournal changed their FAQ to reflect a no nudity rule and is claiming that icons with visible areola or nipple are not permitted. Whether or not areola is visible in a photograph is dependent on a number of factors, including skin tone of the mother and physical changes during pregnancy.

Claimed Live Journal Abuse Staffer ‘Erin’ in a post on the site, “That’s really a matter for the FCC to decide. LiveJournal’s policies on this mirror what would be allowed on primetime TV or in a PG-13 movie.” However, this is not true. The FCC does not consider the act of breastfeeding on television to fall under the definitions of indecency or obscenity.

Breastfeeding is exempt from nudity laws throughout the United States as well as countries such as Canada. Advocates are urging LiveJournal to adopt the same criteria. “It is regrettable that LiveJournal has chosen to target breastfeeding mothers instead of standing up for the protection provided them by law,” says Carrie Patterson, executive director of ProMom.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to increasing public awareness and public acceptance of breastfeeding.

“It is regrettable that LiveJournal has chosen to target breastfeeding mothers”

Advocates state that the feeling that breastfeeding should be hidden only fosters the idea that the natural act of nourishing a child is scandalous.

Breastfeeding bloggers who have refused to change their default icon have been suspended from the site. These users, as well as others questioning the
policy, have been treated poorly by the site’s volunteer abuse team, something that is not unusual according to other site users. More than 1,000 LiveJournal users complained, and SixApart issued an apology to the group. However, the company refuses to consider modifying their policy and continues to suspend users whose default icons are deemed inappropriate. Although LiveJournal stated a clarified rule, mothers are still reporting major inconsistencies in its application.

The breastfeeding debacle is only the most recent in a long line of incidents that have people wondering if the abuse procedures as a whole should be reviewed for fairness and propriety. Complaints have been raised about users’ privacy, inconsistent enforcement of the Terms of Service, conflicting information and responses from abuse team members, and discourteous replies to users seeking clarification on the rules.

Activists are now working together to get this policy changed and to clarify the policies and procedures of the LiveJournal abuse team. While some are
refusing to continue paying for the service, others have moved to different journaling websites to protest what they feel is a violation of their rights. For more information, contact Carrie Patterson at 678 – 513-6329 or carrie@promom.org or visit http://www.promom.org/bf_info/mp.html.

Step Up

Yesterday was my son’s fifth birthday. Thanks to a suggestion from my Heather, I took him bowling for the first time. He had a blast! We went with my sister and her fiance and it was fun for all of us. My sister surprisingly rocked it with strike after strike. My elbow is seriously hurting today so that’s a bit of a downfall.

His father didn’t send a gift, card, e-card, or phone call. I’m not surprised. He is a bad person. Pathetic person. Worthless person. I can’t deal with it anymore and I refuse to put my son through it anymore. His father does not deserve to even be in my son’s presence. My son who is amazing, intelligent, technologically inclined (I taught him how to switch from the PS2 to the DVD player for his power ranger goodness, and how to open Firefox and browse to his power ranger website!), and a joy to be around. His father is missing all of that because he would rather well… a lot of you know what he does I don’t need to repeat it yet again.

I have to regain control of my life somehow.

Anyway, I am already so very excited about the upcoming season of American Idol. I wonder if anyone can come close to topping my last season’s obsession (which hasn’t stopped!) of Daughtry. I adore Daughtry.

I was so thrilled to see the iPhone was unveiled today! I could never afford one but they look fantastic.

My plans for the rest of the evening is to watch PhotoshopTV and Diggnation on the podlet and attempt to relax. I’m worried about the rain that’s coming tomorrow and Friday because I’m out of my Excedrin. I suppose if it comes down to it I will stop by my sister’s tomorrow to get a couple doses. I normally get a migraine each and every time it rains. Not looking forward to it.

I am so grateful to everyone’s suggestions for the “Cry” playlist. To jump off of that, what are your favorite songs you play for sheer volume and beat?

Feeling Overwhelmed

I’ve been having nothing but problems since I became pregnant. If it’s not the hyperemesis then it’s being on bedrest for the past two weeks due to Subchorionic Hematoma. Oh and I’ve been suffering from a wicked cold for the past week. It’s really frustrating because I feel very alone during all of this. Very few people actually I think only… one person from work even asked how I was doing and I’ve been gone for the better part of the month. Just being on bedrest alone is a struggle especially since the weather has gotten very spring like and instead of playing with my son or taking photographs I have to lay in bed all day every day. I’ve actually taken to just shooting photos at my window frame.

Speaking of my son, some of you may recall this entry. Well late February his father called me and told me he simply didn’t want to deal with our son anymore. So Keith and I drove up there (I was barely 10wks pregnant at this point) to pick my son up. My son’s hair hadn’t been cut in months, or his nails. He told us that he only drank pop (I only allow pop at restaurants or one glass with dinner), that “God” was a bad word (just as bad as fuck apparently), that his father never took him to a park, played with him rarely, his main meals were hotdogs, burgers, and mac n cheese. Not even to mention all the other information I found out. I was horrified.His father has not tried contacting his son, not even once. Daniel has stated many times that he wants nothing further to do with his father. No surprise there. So even while on bedrest I took Danny for a physical due to the fact that while in his fathers care he was sick all the time and even had his first ear infection. His health is generally good but the doctor was horrified by what Daniel stated his living conditions were. I also plan on scheduling a dentist appointment soon due to all the pop drinking.

Since he’s been home he goes to the park almost every day, other days he plays with the 9yr old boy across the street. He is doing good in school and his reading (thanks to my sister) has improved. He is overly thrilled when we buy him fresh fruit which kills me. He only lived with his father for five months and came back to me grateful for healthy food. It’s insane really. He got beyond excited when we had taco night and I think tonight he wants Chinese food, stuff he hasn’t had in almost half a year apparently. I could rant about this forever heh.

Anyway, I am going to try to make more of an effort to be around. It just gets super difficult because I am getting so depressed with all of the negative stuff going on. Meh. I had high hopes that I wouldn’t go through another stressful pregnancy and yet here I am. Need to find some positives I just don’t know how.

Losing My Mind

I don’t understand why I am at a loss at purchasing things for the baby. I know logically what I need (car seat, baby tub, newborn cloth diaper stash, clothing, blankets for swaddling, etc) yet here I sit, staring at the screen and feeling confused. I suppose part of it is that it’s been almost a decade since I was pregnant with my oldest son, or that I still have about 3 months to go (I am just now starting my 7^th month), yet I have the money put aside to stock up on baby goods and unsure of WHAT to buy or WHERE to buy (would prefer online as much as possible). The only thing I have no worries about is feeding the baby (breastfeeding FTW!).

The products I need help with would be:

• cloth diapers (with my son I didn’t start until he was a year old, used pre-folds and covers)
• car seat (unsure of where to buy a quality one that isn’t Babies R Us or where to find safety reviews)
• clothes (my son was a January baby, this one is late Sept/early Oct)

Aside from that it’s fairly easy as I solely breastfeed (no pacifiers, no bottles), I co-sleep, no vax, no circ, carry the baby everywhere (although this time around I want a sling or as suggested by midsummerblue a Moby wrap), etc. I just can’t see myself prancing to a Target or Walmart or god even the mall to purchase everything I need for the baby. You would think living in Des Plaines (like 30 min from Chicago) I would have more options (which I guess I do except those options are hellishly expensive!). With Danny his biological father and I bought most of his clothes from a baby resale shop, that was about it.

I am getting worked up here over nothing, logically I know this, I think it’s my form of “nesting” or something heh.

Mommy Things, Bloggy Things, and Photos

Mommy Things
You know, when people mention “pregnancy brain” or “mommy brain” they aren’t kidding. Since I had my first son more than 7yrs ago, I have the worst short term memory, which is made even worse by my current pregnancy. I wonder why this is? It’s very frustrating because I am always having to ask those around me to repeat themselves.

Anyway, I am so extremely excited, my father has purchased half of our cloth diaper stash (BumGenius 3.0 pocket diapers) from Jillians Drawers! We are hoping to be able to purchase the rest of what we need before the baby is born.

Ah, hard to believe I am now 36 weeks along isn’t it? I still remember being told that this would be a “long” pregnancy for me because I found out at 3 1/2 weeks along (I have short-ish cycles). My oldest son is so excited about the baby. Thankfully my twin sister just had a baby last year (her first, a daughter), so my son is well caught up on “babyhood”. As it is, he thinks his cousin is his sister lol.

Onto non-mommyish things.…

Bloggy Things
I spent part of today working on a possible re-design of OSN. Obviously that didn’t happen, I merely changed the navigation image, the back-end coding of that navigation, and changing the sidebar header fonts. Exciting. However after discussing it with a flock of awesome people, I wanted to get some feedback if I should release autumn wordpress theme to the masses. I know a lot of people use pre-made themes (basing this info off of the entry Why Pre-Made) and if someone thinks it’s awesome then who am I to withhold the awesomeness.

I also want to reiterate that the “Submit a Link” sidebar is not a plugboard, but more so, intended for “new” blog entries, tech finds, new flickr uploads, etc. So you can submit as many links as you want, as often as you want.

Photos
Lastly, we recently went to the park (ok, granted the males go to the park daily, but with my separated pelvis it’s more of a “special” park trip if I manage to come along) and I just really loved this shot of Danny making a basket and of course… he’s just adorable in general. Almost everyone I’ve ever come into contact with says he looks just like me (thankfully because… I’m awesome!).

Cloth Diapers

We received yesterday (no thanks to UPS, LONG story) our first order of cloth diapers from Jillians Drawers! Mind you this is the first “batch” if you will since we will still need at least another 12+.

And lastly, my son testing one out (yes those are Star Wars sheets), we didn’t have the fancy BumGenius 3.0 one-size CD when he was a baby!

Processing the Negative: Pregnancy and Upcoming Birth #2

It’s interesting how sudden I lost the ability to think, to write. I’m sure this is partly due to the fact that my due date with baby boy #2 is NEXT FRIDAY. Sounds more scary that way, doesn’t it? I feel so unprepared and I can’t quite put my finger on “why?”. I guess I was a bit resigned to the very real possibility that my oldest son was going to be an only child, oh and I still haven’t packed a bag, installed the car seat, do not have enough cloth diapers, etc.

It’s also interesting, when I look back on this particular pregnancy, the cloud of anger and negative attitudes I’ve received.

My former place of employment pretty much threw a fit, (I was hauled in almost daily to “discuss” my pregnancy), I lost pretty much every single friend, (or so-called apparently), I was told OFTEN especially in the first trimester by employees I didn’t even KNOW that I had “options” to “deal” with the pregnancy. I found it so highly offensive considering when I found out I was 27yrs of age, in a solid relationship, working full-time, oh and already was a mother! That’s not even to get into the comments by the management…

I’ve had to deal with such negative and mis-informed thoughts/opinions/attitudes about the birth from family and the few friends I have left. Yes, it’s a big list:

• NOT letting my newborn be given eye drops (they are used to “treat” the baby’s eyes if the mother has a STD) was illegal
• Without having the medical profession TELL me, command me, to push that my body literally wouldn’t know how
• It’s not possible to birth without being on your back
• I would have to (god forbid) sign waivers if I declined the HepB vax (my baby isn’t born shooting heroin/having sex)
• That waiting to go to the hospital for my VBAC would 100% result in the baby being born in the car
• Having a VBAC would automatically mean my uterus would rupture, so why try
• I should have a repeat c-section, because it’s selfish of me to not “choose” my baby’s birthday
• I was told I can’t handle pain, I would “need” the epidural because of how I was after having the c-section & gallbladder removal surgeries. Because labor and birth are exactly like major abdominal surgery apparently.
• That I am “idealizing” the birth, because “what if?!” the baby presents with his hand by his face, his heartrate drops, etc. That I haven’t “prepared” for every single possibility. Somehow my having a VBAC makes all the “what if’s” certain events.

Actually there is a ton more but even just going over those make me testy. I’ve not even gone into all of the actual parenting crap that has been spouted at me regarding breastfeeding, no circ, co-sleeping, no vaccinating, cloth diaper, etc. I really REALLY do not get how people can even TALK to me about breastfeeding in a negative way (for those who know me personally) especially considering my son NEVER had a drop of formula, no bottles, no pacifiers, and self-weaned himself at 4yr. I think I can handle breastfeeding another child the same way. I also don’t understand why anyone would think I would change the way I parent in general.

Oh yes, I am a bit with the rage. What makes it ok for ANYONE to spout crap without doing any research? An “opinion” isn’t FACT.

Sigh. Generally I try to not let it get to me, but lately that’s proven to be very difficult. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have the full support from my boyfriend and son. I know at the end of the day that’s all I really need.

When did it become ok, and even applauded, to attack someone for not being mainstream? Has anyone else dealt with being shunned, verbally attacked, etc, for the way you parent?

Vent: Birthing Scare Tactics (long)

Some of you know from following me on twitter that I was in the emergency room at Northwest Community Hospital (in Arlington Heights, IL) for a severe migraine (I’ve been suffering from them for years, they are not pregnancy related).

I had gone originally in the evening on Wednesday night, they tested me for Group B Strep (common to be tested around 36wks, if you test positive, you get antibiotics during labor) of which I am negative for, gave me some pain meds, had the on-call OB take a peek at me. He palpated my belly, made a comment that the baby was average, maybe even on the smaller side size wise. He also said that I was a great candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

Sadly, the migraine rebounded and I had to go back yesterday (Thursday). We were there for approx 8+hrs. The arrival itself went smoothly, although, like usual, they discounted my very large history of migraines and assumed it HAD to be pregnancy related, naturally, it wasn’t.

The first doctor that came to the room performed a cervical check on me, during the migraine itself where I could not think, focus, etc, (as anyone who has had a migraine can atest to, your brain doesn’t WORK during a migraine) and it was extremely painful. So much so that I am very sore today. He also tried to force my legs open even though I told him I physically couldn’t open them past a certain point, due to my separated pelvis.

I was then declared to be 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. He then started to berate me for choosing to have a VBAC, how HE would NEVER choose that, I wondered how he thought he would ever be faced with that option considering he was male, no uterus, no vagina, etc.

So they finally give me pain medication, once it kicked in they proceeded to do a full ultrasound to check fluid levels and such. The ultrasound tech commented that I was very articulate and “good with your words”. She told me the baby looked great, heads down, and approx 8 1/2 — 9 lbs, measuring EXACTLY on time for my due date (which is today by the way).

I was then put back into the hospital room, where my 7yr old son had fallen asleep, my boyfriend was dozing (he had only slept maybe 3 hrs the night before) and I was pain free so I was focused on getting the heck out of that hospital! The nurse came in, told us that a different doctor NEEDED to speak to us before we would be permitted to leave, we simply assumed he wanted to review the radiology report from the ultrasound.

TWO HOURS LATER, he comes in the room, throws himself in a chair, and proceeds to attack me for not having a repeat c-section.

Fear Tactic #1 He told me it was Illinois State LAW that unless I had “proof” of the uterine incision I had, that I had no “choice” but to have a c-section. I asked him to provide me with written documentation of this law. Twice. He then recanted and said, “well maybe it’s not a law, but I’ll tell you NO hospital will ALLOW you to VBAC without it”. Right ok, so first fear tactic and lie. Interesting.

Fear Tactic #2 He then tried to tell me that my unborn son has macrosomia. Interesting since by all proven documentation the baby would have to be about 10+ lbs for that to be the case, the ultrasound tech GUESSTIMATED 8 1/2 — 9lbs, and ultrasound is the LEAST reliable method to determine baby’s weight, could be off as much as TWO POUNDS. I am not measuring ahead, baby is not measuring ahead.

My oldest son was born at exactly 39wks and was 8lbs 3oz. My twin sister was 6days overdue and her daughter was 8lbs, 13oz. Just to show the general “size” of our babies.

Fear Tactic #3 He then attempted to use my separated pelvis against me, trying to tell me a “large” baby would damage it further. In all actuality, the fact that my pelvis is the way it is, actually gives my body the ability to birth a larger than “normal” baby.

All in all, he spent about an hour trying to scare me, shame me, etc. It didn’t work. All it did was make me utterly furious. He finally left the room and had a social worker come up (due to our health insurance issue), and I told her how he was with me, how upset I was, and she actually recommended we go to a different hospital (that is literally a 3minute drive from our house, as opposed to Northwest which is about 30 min away), that it was his practice who was on-call and they would try to force a c-section on me.

I am so angry still. I had nightmares of being at a social event and watching women be tied down and have forced c-sections performed on them all night. It was horrific.

As it is, I plan on waiting as long as possible before going to ANY hospital, I would prefer to go when in transition or better yet, when I have the urge to push.

There is no way I can be coerced into a RCS (repeat c-section), I am too angry and stubborn heh. I also have a great advocate in my boyfriend. However, not only do I have to fight for the birth ITSELF, but the moment my second son is born, I have to fight to prevent them from forcing formula down his throat, coating his eyes in Erythromycin ointment (the eye drops they use on newborns, is supposed to be used when the mother has gonorrhea or chlamydia for example), giving him the Hep B vaccination which is no longer even recommended for newborns (I don’t think my new infant will be shooting up heroin with dirty needles or having unprotected sexual intercourse the moment he is out of my womb), the Vitamin K shot (to prevent bleeding in the brain, usually it stems from an issue with the liver), and lastly, making sure they do not circumcise him.

I highly need feedback on this entry and encouragement. I would appreciate if you could retweet this as well. I need all the help, advice, encouragement, etc.

Today is my due date with my second son and instead of being mellow and enjoying the feel of him kicking my ribs, I have to worry about the medical profession doing harm to us, or punishing us, simply because I am an overweight mother who had a previous c-section due to my oldest son being a footling breech.

ETA on 09/30/2009 The 2^nd hospital, Lutheran General in Park Ridge, IL, is even WORSE. I explained more in the comments, but this statement from the SECOND OB (they tried to have EVERYONE who was there try and force me to have a RCS), told me that even if I showed up with the baby CROWNING they would “force” me to have a RCS.

I am in VERY early labor and have been since Monday morning. Insane amounts of bloody show, hopefully things kick in soon. Right now it looks like I am going to have an October baby, funny enough my own Birthday is Oct 17^th.

Photographs: Tristan

Here are some photos of our newest son, Tristan. The hospital photos were shot by my boyfriend Keith. Mad skills right!

At a Loss for Words

Obviously having a newborn makes it difficult to be online, even with a Blackberry and laptop, I am going through withdrawal!

There’s so much more to the birth story than I posted earlier (which was blogged from my blackberry while on pain meds in the hospital). However, I doubt anyone cares to read it and I’m not sure when I would have time to really recall all of it without crying heh.

I am happy to say that when it comes to Tristan, he is solely breastfed, although we are going back and forth with foremilk/hindmilk imbalance issues, he is cloth diapered, no vaccinations, did not get the Vit K shot, Hep B shot, or eye ointment, also he is not circumcised.

It took about a week and a half after the birth, all the while sobbing often, to accept my failed VBAC. I logically understand it was an actual emergency (due to my bleeding out/possible placenta abruption *waiting on those test results still*) and yet emotionally it’s hard to accept that I went through 4 straight days of labor, bleeding the whole time, having contractions every 2 – 4 minutes lasting 1 – 2 minutes, plus a hell of a lot more, just to end up with another c-section after all.

Aside from all the baby stuff, recovery stuff, I’ve been feeling insane! I’m still stuck at home, more so because of the painful c-section recovery, no nursing bra yet, and the weather hasn’t exactly been pleasant either. I just miss being outside! I am already mentally thrilled that this upcoming year (2010) I will again be frolicking outside like mad crazy with the boys!

Keith has been a huge help. I’ve had to change only ONE diaper, simply because he was renewing his driver’s license at the time so he wasn’t here lol. It’s amazing for me because I have to admit, I compare how he is with this baby phase to how Matt was and Keith by far is the better father. He’s a strong advocate for all of us where Matt… well… let’s not get into that. He cooks all the meals, does all the laundry, makes sure to play with Danny, etc. Suffice to say it proves that dating someone with more intelligence reflects more in daily life and parenthood than I originally believed years ago.

I just had my 28^th birthday on October 17^th. It was ok. I got an awesome surprise gift from Keith’s friend which I am still in shock about, my father stopped by and told me he would get us some more BumGenius cloth diapers in November which is awesome, right now Keith is washing diapers 1-2x per day. My oldest son made me an awesome card, photo is below. I still had a hard day though, I never do well on my birthday heh.

Anyway, here are a few recent photos. I would appreciate any feedback on well, everything. I am still emotionally raw from the failed VBAC and such heh.

Bits and Pieces

I can not believe Tristan is a month old. He is, of course, solely breastfed, cloth diapered, co-sleep happy, no-vax, etc. The past few weeks he’s started smiling, especially at his older brother. Both of my boys are going through a growth spurt, I’ve taken to calling Danny, “the walking wounded”, because he is starting to trip over his feet so much it seems!

The photos were shot from my Blackberry.

I feel… guilty in a sense, at least blogging wise, because I don’t have much to say lately that isn’t “attachment parenting” related and I don’t think I have many readers in that area. I would love to ramble on and on about how much we love our diapers or our new Moby wrap, but doubt that would be of interest to anyone.

Anyway onto other things, I recently got a GoogleWave account and was wondering if you had one, what you thought of it, and to share your contact info so I can add you! I still haven’t had time to sit down and play with it, I need to watch all the tutorial videos I’m sure.

Also, feel free to share some of your new favorite reads in the comments, I need new blogs to read while nursing the wee one!

Thoughts on Babywearing & the Moby Wrap

When I was pregnant with my oldest son, Daniel, I always wanted to “wear” him.

I never got the chance due to his bio-father, instead I simply carried him in my arms… EVERYWHERE. I never minded it although at times I wish I had BOTH hands free… to even just type like I’m doing now! I never EVER wanted to be one of those “baby bucket” parents. I feel that car seats are meant for the car, not as a makeshift parent or sleeping area. Besides, babies are meant to be held and snuggled!

With Tristan however, I really wanted a wrap or carrier, after researching it I decided upon the Moby Wrap as my first wrap (I am also interested in woven wraps, would appreciate any suggestions/thoughts in the comments, and yes I am a member of The Baby Wearer lol.)

I sent Keith over to New Mother, New Baby which is a local store that sells the wrap, the owner was kind enough to stay open late for him as traffic was ultra congested at the time. He purchased me the red wrap which is an awesome color.

The learning curve has been a bit difficult for me, the top rail of the cummerbund never seems tight enough, although the wrap is secure, it always bothers me (this is specifically related to the front pocket wrap cross carry hold). I’ve expanded, just as of today even, to teaching myself to breastfeed in the wrap, and to do the front wrap cross carry hold which I find to be a bit easier/faster to do actually.

I am very pleased with our Moby Wrap, not only is the color of the wrap pretty (I was worried when Keith told me he purchased red, that it would be tomato red or tacky red, instead it’s an autumny maple red!), but I like having the ability to do different holds, it’s soft and snuggly for the baby, and it’s one-size fit’s all so it can fit me and also fit Keith (who is over 6ft tall).

So I am curious, do you babywear? Why/why not? If you do, what are/is your favorite type of carrier and why? Where is your favorite store to purchase from?

I am so interested in the responses!!

Breastfeeding: 6wks : Lots of Photos and Reflections

Today we hit a breastfeeding milestone, 6 weeks of Tristan having nothing but my breastmilk to nourish and sustain him. Now keep in mind, I am sleep deprived as I write this.

It’s interesting for me considering I breastfed my oldest son from birth until he self weaned after he turned 4yrs old. I’ve gone back and re-read all my archives, not only did I sound like a typical blogger at the time heh, but even then I was passionate about breastfeeding and the benefits for both me and my son.

With Tristan we did encounter some issues for the first 3 weeks, mainly that he was a very chill/sleepy baby so he would fall asleep at the breast as soon as he would latch, it caused many worries for me as I had zero issues breastfeeding my first son. Thankfully after week 3 and two visits to a lactation consultant (who loved our BumGenius cloth diapers, and said we were the first parents to use cloth diapers in all her 10+ yrs working as a LC!), he has “woken up” if you will, and we’ve had no further issues.

I do feel a large part of my breastfeeding “success” is that formula/bottles were never an option in my mind. As with my first, I made sure we did not have any artificial nipples in the home, did not purchase formula (which NEVER crossed my mind even when I was pregnant with my first son), and I’ve always had a “this will work no matter what I have to do” attitude.

I also did not let anyone’s opinions affect me. I could care less if my family, friends, hell my boyfriend, supported me in my choice. Granted it’s nice to have that emotional support I’m sure, but at the end of the day it’s a relationship between my child and myself. One worth fighting for.

I remember the nurses being judgmental and downright rude to me as I nursed Tristan. I had almost every single nurse act surprised and even angry that I did not have sore nipples or breasts from letting my newborn nurse as much as he wanted/needed to. I had one nurse (that I “fired”) verbally attack me for letting him stay at the breast for 3 hours one afternoon. That it wasn’t “normal”. I had many nurses try to get me to leave him in the nursery… for no reason at all. I of course declined, and after a certain point, not so politely.

When I had Daniel, the nurses made it their personal goal to try and talk me into giving him formula, one even tried to sneak a bottle into my baby without my knowledge or consent, if it wasn’t for my twin sister noticing and stopping it, who knows what could have happened. I had one night nurse try to tell me that it was ok to give formula because it would be given through an oral syringe, so that made it “ok” in her eyes.

In both cases, no one had a valid reason of why they were so disturbed that I was breastfeeding my new baby. In both cases I did not have one single nurse that was happy to see me breastfeeding.

I do realize I tend to judge, and I am harsh, to those who formula feed by CHOICE. Very few people have a valid reason to not breastfeed. Most of the reasons are selfish, misguided, lazy, or they cave into pressure from those around them to give their babies a dead powdered (possibly recalled) substance filled with corn syrup, oils, powdered vitamins, etc.

I also realize some people that make the CHOICE to formula feed, do so out of ignorance. How many times have we all heard mother’s say they chose to feed their infants formula because the baby was “so hungry!” around 2 weeks, 3 months, etc. It hurts me that simply because their baby was going through a growth spurt, instead of RESEARCHING it, instead of reaching out to their local LLL or LC, they instead cram a bottle of potentially harmful material into their babies mouths.

It’s NOT NORMAL that we have to have LAWS in place to be able to nourish our babies the way our bodies are set up to do. We have milk ducts for a reason.

Now granted I may come across a bit harsh and I fully expect that I will offend/upset someone with my thoughts and opinions. I am not going to apologize for that. Generally those who FEEL attacked, are actually feeling guilty or not confident in their parental choice for feeding their child.

On the other hand, those who have a valid medical reason (of course trying to get donated breastmilk first), should have the ability to use formula to feed their child.

I’ve gotten a bit off track here, suffice to say I plan on breastfeeding Tristan until he self-weans, just like his big brother did, there is absolutely no reason why I would do it any differently.

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• Fought for a VBAC and lost
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