I don’t even know where to begin. The school drama, family drama, health drama.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

I swear I feel like I haven’t been able to catch my breath and it’s now April!

School Drama

My husband went to the school to pick up any of our son’s belongings from his desk and locker and got into a conversation with the principal where she said the reason none of our calls got returned was because in ONE of the many messages both my husband and I left… he said “we’re going to have to homeschool if things don’t change”. She said that “legally” once the WORD homeschool is used, the school basically considers that as the child no longer being enrolled.

Um. What?

She then proceeded to say that our three year old is “behind” because the times she saw him during school meetings… he didn’t talk.

Seriously. Because my toddler has manners, he’s… delayed? Anyone that knows my kids in person, knows they are major chatterboxes. BIG TIME chatterboxes. IT IS NEVER QUIET. They talk in their sleep!

Then she said that she was “concerned” that child protective services would get involved because of Danny being homeschooled. This why I always send my husband to the school because I’d end up with a restraining order…, she got a bit testy when my husband told her how Daniel is reading and writing at home when he didn’t do it at school. I guess something about being tortured, hit, stabbed, and told all sorts of mean awful things would sorta kinda hinder the learning process at school! So yeah, totally abusive right there… making my son ACTUALLY READ without beating him or cussing him out or telling him to die… oh wait… that was the school environment!

Health Drama

I called my doctor’s office on Monday to get my blood test results (just shy of two weeks after I was seen) and the woman that answered the phone took my name then said, “oh everything is fine, see you next year!”.

Cue me sobbing the ugly cry.

Why? Because not only am I still suffering from unexplained weight gain, unable to lose weight, intensely dry skin and hair, tired all the time, forgetful, cold all the time, crazy awful periods (TMI but still, it’s freaking me out)… but to be told “oh you’re fine byeeee!” after the doctor told me to my face that she believed 100% I had hypothyroidism as I had EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM and she was only testing to see “how bad it is”. Apparently my… level… is 22. Level of what? I have no idea. And that my iron is 12.6.

I started taking even more vitamins, now it’s the following: fish oil | probioitic | selenium | super b complex

So now we have to find an endocrinologist for further testing because it makes no sense to have the physical symptoms yet be “totally healthy”. It’s not possible to be this WEIGHT and be 100% healthy (in my opinion anyway). The first office we called had no openings until July. So if anyone has any recommendations in the Chicago Suburb area… let me know!

Family Drama

It was brought to my attention that my estranged twin sister is telling not only my family but other individuals as well that I’m spreading a rumor about her.

What’s the rumor you ask? That the reason she’s lost weight is because she does cocaine.

Yep! She goes on to tell these people (and I have physical proof of that she’s said this) that I am not only SAYING this about her but I’m saying it because I’m jealous.

Uhh… what? Not only is it not true as I actually rarely speak about her much less what she does in her private life but I would never ever accuse anyone of doing hard drugs. EVER. Especially the biological mother of my niece!

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see where I’ve ever said anything about her to ANYONE, especially about cocaine usage!

When this all came to light, I cried… because that’s what I pretty much do with any emotion I feel… and now I’m left wondering what it is about me that would make her say such awful things about me. Is it because I couldn’t afford to give her MORE money? My husband and I thought spending and giving her a bit over $500 this year alone was helpful but… apparently not so much.

Then, it gets better, my mother called me to inquire about my blood test results, I told her… and an hour later get an email sent to me, subject line “SARAH”. Turns out? She didn’t intend to email me… oh no… she messed up on the email addresses and ACCIDENTALLY emailed me an email she wrote my sister ABOUT me. Basically sharing with my sister every single thing I said about my health. I could tell this obviously wasn’t the first time they’ve discussed me via email (and I’m sure phone as well).

I emailed right back “you realize you sent this to me, not to my sister” and a day later got an email back basically stating, “my being bipolar made me do it”.

Yep. I don’t even… there has to be something about me to cause such intense hatred of me by my own family.

I just don’t understand. I doubt I ever will understand. I just wish it would stop.

Everything Else

On the non-drama side of life, it’s finally feeling like Spring! I’m able to have the windows open almost every day for a few hours and the sun is up until around 7:30pm. I love it so much!

Figure I’m just going to go back to my old school blogging ways. Which means a lot more super boring and random posts just like this one! YAY!!!

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posted on April 6th 2013 at 6:40PM CST

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your family is messed up and they’re jealous of you, because you have something they don’t. (Not sure what — possibly your marriage, possibly not having to work a “regular” job… who knows?)

That principal sounds kind of nuts, too. I think you’re better off without the school.

I’m so sorry your doctor hasn’t been able to help you. I saw an endocrinologist about 10 years ago because I got a weird thyroid reading on a blood test, and she told me that the test my doctor had done wasn’t a good indicator of whether or not there’s a problem. So possibly your test wasn’t accurate either and more sophisticated tests will tell you something different. I hope you can get in with a specialist soon. Not knowing is maddening.

I was wondering if you might have fibromyalgia (it runs in my family and is hard to diagnose) but that wouldn’t explain all of your symptoms. Although I suppose you could have more than one problem… Boy, you’d think medical science would be better at figuring things about by now, wouldn’t you?

Hang in there. Try to ignore your crazy family and try to take care of yourself. ::::hugs::::

posted on April 6th 2013 at 6:47PM CST

I have no idea what it is. I have a good family with my awesome husband and our boys… I like that we own the house even if it needs a lottttt of work and that he has a good job that makes it so I can afford to stay home (and I like doing my web work too!). I could even understand them talking about me behind my back but to come up with these really awful lies? THAT bothers me. I don’t want people thinking badly about me based on lies!

Dude. There is NO WAY we will ever enroll Tristan in that school. Absolutely not.

I don’t think I have fibromyalgia just because I don’t hurt (unless it’s a migraine LOL!) or really have any of the symptoms of it. My mother has hypothyroidism so it wouldn’t be a huge surprise. I think I’m going to call back on Monday and see about getting a copy of the lab results because I have NO idea what tests were actually run. I asked to have the TSH, Free T3 and T4 run but now… I don’t think that they were.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:24PM CST

Our families are so much alike it’s almost funny. Almost. I used to blame myself a lot, too. But you can’t blame yourself for THEIR issues. I’m going to agree with your friend up there and say it could in fact be based on jealousy. Jealousy drives people to do some crazy things. :\

As for for the health drama, keep calling that place like I said. People are always cancelling their appointments. You may get lucky and get a sooner appointment. But even if you don’t it’s best to make the appointment now rather than wait until the last minute. The way these months have been flying by July will be here before you know it!

Hang in there, Sarah! I’ll be up your way soon. We can go into all the beauty stores and make it rain in them bitches! retail therapy yo! lol

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:41PM CST

I don’t know how to stop blaming myself or at the very least, wonder what it is ABOUT me that they hate so much.

LOL I shall stalk with the best of them!

Yeahhhhh be all gangsta at Inglot! I’d wear my BIG hoops for that!

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:21PM CST

Had to reply to this…I find that my own family doesn’t get along with me because I don’t kiss up to them all. And since I actually have a wonderful family and a husband that loves me and now kids. Plain and simple? Jealousy! Hang in there!!

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:40PM CST

I was once diagnosed with hypothyroidism by a doctor who wasn’t an Endo, then they did the tests and found it it was wrong – I don’t have it. It really pissed me off because I have ALLLLLL the symptoms of it (cold all the time, depression, unexplained weight gain, then loss, then gain.) And people were like “Did they check the T3s and blah-blah-blahs!?!?” and YES. They tested all of that. Every single last thing – and I still don’t have it. It’s maddening because I really thought that could be the answer for what plagues me. But it’s not. I understand.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:47PM CST

I do feel like I’m losing my mind because I feel like crap not only physically but emotionally about my weight. I’ve never been one of those “I’m OK with being fat and I dress AWESOME and have a full and rich life!” women. Ever. So I stay home, because I feel judged otherwise.

I bought the book Feeling Fat, Fuzzy, or Frazzled?: A 3-Step Program to: Restore Thyroid, Adrenal, and Reproductive Balance, Beat Hormone Havoc, and Feel Better Fast! and it has a LOT of suggestions on supplements and what not, hence me taking the Selenium.

Will it help? NO idea, I hope so. I’d rather deal with it naturally than go on some sort of synthetic drug for the rest of my life.

Out of curiosity, are you anemic at all? I am for 2 weeks out of the month then I bump up to the low end of “normal” for the other 2 weeks. Has similar symptoms as hypothyroidism except for the weight stuff.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 9:05PM CST

I’ve been anemic at times in my life and I’m definitely Vitamin D deficient but I can never remember to take my damn pills. I just suck at taking care of myself in general.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:43PM CST

Hey Sarah,

I just had some blood tests too and unless they measure things different in the US than here in Canada, I can tell you that 12.6 for your iron is out of range. Normal range is 20-160. I’m an 8 and was told I am “extremely” anemic. Which would mean you are at least “anemic.” I was tested for hypothyroidism too and mine was 1.08 – within normal range which is between .34-5.6. I have no idea what 22 means for you, unless it was 2.2? Anyway, it is likely that I am anemic because I have been losing blood, having really heavy periods and bleeding in between periods too. Plus I’m vegetarian. That has never been a problem before but now apparently it is. Anyway, is there any way that you can get those test results? I have mine and I could help you go over them to compare.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:51PM CST

Yeah I KNOW I’m anemic, and I do think it’s partly due to these insane periods of mine (I go through half a box of super plus tampons and half a box of overnight pads in 2 days, that I have to wear together, just to give an idea). Ironically AF is due today/tomorrow… can’t wait lol!

I’m going to call and try to get a copy of the lab report on Monday (they are closed on the weekends), even if I have to drive over there, because something just doesn’t sound right and then we can compare!

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:48PM CST

Sounds good! Just let me know – by email works better as I otherwise won’t remember to check back here. :)

posted on April 6th 2013 at 7:52PM CST

Wow…that sounds like a whole load of WTF-ery at school. I usually have my DH deal with school stuff because I will either end up crying or end up hurting someone. Especially when what they are saying makes NO sense. *rolleyes*

Keep looking for a doctor to see you, your health is that important and if a doctor refuses to see it or explain things, then they don’t need your money. I wonder about some of these doctor’s…if they truly care or if we are just dollars and cents. Don’t stop asking until you are satisfied with the answers you are getting.

As for your family…eff them, seriously. It is VERY rude for your mother to take what you tell her and then pass it along, especially to a family member you are estranged from. Sounds like your sister and possibly your mom suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder…which I know all about because my own estranged mother suffers from it. Look it up…you will be surprised and assure that it is NOT you but all them!

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:02PM CST

It’s amazing to me that since Daniel has been home, he’s actually reading. Not only that but specific books the school told me he was UNABLE to read, he flies through at home. He’s below grade level in everything but math from what I can determine. I will never understand it, he was in school (total combined) for 4 years and didn’t learn anything but that other kids will beat the crap out of you, threaten to kill you, and teachers will not give a damn.

He didn’t learn anything educationally at all if it wasn’t taught by myself or my husband. Ugh, SO furious still.

This was actually my first doctor visit (ignoring pregnancies / ER stuff) since I was 22 years old. That doctor (a different practice) told me that he could give me a medicine to make me “not care so much” about my migraines. Freaked me out so much I just avoided doctors entirely.

Now to have this one say to my face, “You have hypothyroidism for sure!” then two weeks later “your blood test is fine, see you next year” after I almost broke down in tears in her office because I’m so concerned about how bad my health is getting. Ugh.

Oh I am well aware of narcissistic personality disorder! It fits my mother and sister 100%! I do know my mother is bipolar and I wonder about my sister too just because of her very dramatic lows and very crazy party “highs” or “manic” phases.

Of course my mother says that all of us kids (me, my sister, my brother) are bipolar “just like her!”, ignoring that I took myself to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with just depression and anxiety, not bipolar. LOL not gonna lie, sometimes I wish I were because I wouldn’t mind some of the energy that can come with being manic!

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:23PM CST

Have you ever thought about maybe a homeopathic doctor? And I agree with what someone said above…keep calling the one doctor’s office or see if they have a waitlist for appointments.

I think my mother is bipolar but she would NEVER admit that or anything else, which in itself presents a lot of issues.

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:29PM CST

I have considered that… just not sure where to find one?

posted on April 6th 2013 at 8:58PM CST

Try here: http://www.naturopathic.org/ And surprisingly a place like Yelp will have reviews that can be very helpful and weed out the scammers. Or go into an herb shop, because usually the folks that run it can have insight into decent doctors that practice this type of medicine.

Jake
posted on April 7th 2013 at 12:02AM CST

1) Homeschool if you can. It is the only way I stayed sane.

2) If you think your body is out of wack, it is. There are lots of things you can do with food and herbs to help see which thing is on the fritz. (Email me) You are entitled to a copy of your blood work which will come with a “normal range.” It isn’t good for much because “normal” is “normal for unhealthy Americans” and lots of things (deficiencies etc) aren’t tested for. So it may not be helpful but you should have a copy.

3) Jettison toxic family. I have said that before but it is a personal mantra. I backslide occasionally but cutting out my family of origin is the healthiest thing I have ever done.

And tell Gina to take her vitamin D supps.

posted on April 7th 2013 at 3:43PM CST

Oh we are homeschooling! I wish I had never re-enrolled him a couple of years ago because not only would be where he SHOULD be educationally but it would have eliminated all of the trauma he was put through.

I’m for sure calling tomorrow for a copy (thankfully I live really close to their office if I have to pick it up).

I had texted my sister on the 23rd of March saying that I was done that I knew we would never be able to have a healthy relationship and I thought that would be the end of it… I was apparently wrong. I don’t even need to speak to anyone for them to hate me so much!

Jake
posted on April 7th 2013 at 5:40PM CST

I knew you had been homeschooling but I thought maybe there was some unavoidable reason you put him back in school. Didn’t want to tread there. ;)

Well yay you!

posted on April 8th 2013 at 2:16AM CST

OH gosh no! What happened was that Daniel asked to go back to school, he thought that “this time” the experience would be different than our first go-round. Obviously it wasn’t.

Crystal
posted on April 7th 2013 at 9:14AM CST

If anything I could do would help, I’m here.

posted on April 7th 2013 at 3:43PM CST

Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to do anymore.

posted on April 7th 2013 at 10:50AM CST

Nice to see I’m not the only one with the insane family! My uncle and his wife basically attacked me on Easter. Yeah she’s bipolar too so I bet you anything when she called to talk with my grandma she probably used that as an excuse. Hugs!

posted on April 7th 2013 at 3:43PM CST

Ugh I’m so sorry.

posted on April 8th 2013 at 6:26PM CST

You actually made me feel better about it. =p

posted on April 8th 2013 at 1:42PM CST

WHAT?!? That’s insane. Especially the homeschool part – they can’t assume your kid has been pulled out, no matter what you say!!

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this :-/

posted on April 9th 2013 at 7:31PM CST

I will never ever understand that school.

Dina
posted on April 11th 2013 at 3:03PM CST

Have you been tested for PCOS? I went through much of what you’re going through (health-wise) and I hated being a guinea pig for the docs. Finally after my own research, many said they had to specifically ask to be tested for this. The good and bad thing about PCOS is that oddly you won’t automatically ‘have’ cysts on your ovaries, but it does screw with your hormones which makes everything crazy (including your uterus having a thicker lining – which completely sucks!). It’s not really curable, not a disease, but at least ‘knowing’ does help you know there are options. Diet is a biggie, and I don’t mean to loose weight, but many have found certain foods trigger a lot of symptoms. I guess the idea is to know you can somewhat control things a little better. Many docs will medicate for your thyroids and anemia, but in the end good old fashioned iron helps tons. You can also take a bvitamin for energy. My symptoms were extreme fatigue, dizziness, sleeping disorders, irritable (or flat out bitchy), abdomin pains, skin problems, brittle hair, sugar levels were ‘odd’, weight gain and difficulty in loosing that weight, and of course the incredibly heavy bleeding. In any case, women will each have their own ‘symptoms’, almost like a customized condition (lucky us -__- ). So yeah, maybe you already tested for this but if not check it out! PS – Love your blog, long time visitor, it’s about time I commented :) Love!! Dina

posted on April 11th 2013 at 3:11PM CST

I haven’t only because I don’t display any of the symptoms of PCOS. My cycle is 100% regular to the day, I’ve never missed a period unless I was pregnant lol!

I started taking a Super B Complex vitamin for energy and eating a TON more spinach to help with Iron (and more red meat).

I’ve called every day this week to get a copy of my lab report but keep getting a “you’ve called outside of office hours” message so I think I just need to physically show up. I’m also phone stalking the endocrinologist to try and get an earlier appointment.

I find it funny sometimes that all these problems didn’t start until a couple months past my 30th birthday. It’s like once I hit the big 3-0 my body decided to fall apart!

Barb
posted on April 19th 2013 at 1:06PM CST

We have been estranged from my husbands family for a very long time now (5 years). There has been limited contact which has been ignored. We just cut the ties and basically didn’t care to hear or know about anything going on with any of them. It’s been the perfect way to go on with our lives with much less drama. I don’t have a good relationship with my family either. Mostly we just stay away. For a long time I wondered what was wrong with me and the reality is that I’m different than they are. I don’t think it’s me or them. I just think I don’t want to deal with them anymore than they want to deal with me. So be it.

I’ll be the first to say when it comes to the health care system of today I am Jaded. As a mother with two adult children with rare disorders that view does not come from inexperience with them or the changes that has taken place in the system over the years. It’s a money driven industry and, IMHO they only seek to enhance their own “topics of the day” causes. I don’t deal with them at all for myself and only when necessary for my boys.

I have no clue what’s going on in your life or your world so I am not in a position to advise or judge. I can only hope that things improve because this much stress is not good for anyone and I know for a fact that stress can cause a body to break down in big ways. I’ve improved just by dealing with it, removing it or surrendering to it in my life. It’s not perfect but it’s a whole lot better.

posted on April 20th 2013 at 12:32PM CST

I’d have an easier time ignoring their existence if I didn’t deal with finding out the “stories” told about me behind my back. Especially when they involve my kids.

Apparently my lab reports have been mailed out so I expect to get them early next week, hopefully it will help me not only figure out what I was tested for but what my next step will be.

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