At a Loss for Words
Obviously having a newborn makes it difficult to be online, even with a Blackberry and laptop, I am going through withdrawal!
There’s so much more to the birth story than I posted earlier (which was blogged from my blackberry while on pain meds in the hospital). However, I doubt anyone cares to read it and I’m not sure when I would have time to really recall all of it without crying heh.
It took about a week and a half after the birth, all the while sobbing often, to accept my failed VBAC. I logically understand it was an actual emergency (due to my bleeding out/possible placenta abruption *waiting on those test results still*) and yet emotionally it’s hard to accept that I went through 4 straight days of labor, bleeding the whole time, having contractions every 2-4 minutes lasting 1-2 minutes, plus a hell of a lot more, just to end up with another c-section after all.
Aside from all the baby stuff, recovery stuff, I’ve been feeling insane! I’m still stuck at home, more so because of the painful c-section recovery, no nursing bra yet, and the weather hasn’t exactly been pleasant either. I just miss being outside! I am already mentally thrilled that this upcoming year (2010) I will again be frolicking outside like mad crazy with the boys!
Keith has been a huge help. I’ve had to change only ONE diaper, simply because he was renewing his driver’s license at the time so he wasn’t here lol. It’s amazing for me because I have to admit, I compare how he is with this baby phase to how Matt was and Keith by far is the better father. He’s a strong advocate for all of us where Matt… well… let’s not get into that. He cooks all the meals, does all the laundry, makes sure to play with Danny, etc. Suffice to say it proves that dating someone with more intelligence reflects more in daily life and parenthood than I originally believed years ago.
I just had my 28th birthday on October 17th. It was ok. I got an awesome surprise gift from Keith’s friend which I am still in shock about, my father stopped by and told me he would get us some more BumGenius cloth diapers in November which is awesome, right now Keith is washing diapers 1-2x per day. My oldest son made me an awesome card, photo is below. I still had a hard day though, I never do well on my birthday heh.
Anyway, here are a few recent photos. I would appreciate any feedback on well, everything. I am still emotionally raw from the failed VBAC and such heh.
This post is over a year old which means the content may be outdated or no longer accurate.