Why the hell am I even awake?? Poor chubs, gave him half a dose of medicine last night, which seems to be still working to ease his cough and congestion. As for me, just sneezing and a sore throat, very light congestion… so far heh.

Matt and I talked via IM last night. He kept saying how depressed he was, how he shouldn’t live anymore, etc. Well… gee… what the hell am I supposed to do? I told him, he should be happy, after all he chose this for his life. Eh. I just… get confused of how he even dare feel depressed since he CHOSE that life. I didn’t ask for all of the crap happening in mine. I mean he chose to not be with me or my son. So I am not going to “play the part” of some sort of sobby consoling person or whatever he is expecting from me. I just… can’t deal with any mind games. I don’t have the time for that anymore. I am still a touch out there on how I even feel about him. Blah. Confusing situation indeed.

My sister is so good to me sometimes, she got me a 6 pack of aquafina half liter water bottles, because I somehow drink water easier that way, I have a lot of gallons of icemountain water, so I just refill the water bottles, since I am sick, I am glad for the many bottles she bought. ahhahaha re-reading that… oh I sound so cracked out!

I’ve been stalking ebay for walking away the pounds videos, since I have money in paypal from all the recent webwork I have done. I refuse to go above $15 for the videos, including shipping. Anyone use the WATP videos? Tell me a bit about them before I spend any money on them?

It’s odd how I have gone down two sizes since March when I really haven’t done anything different. Cept maybe pay attention to what I eat, how fast I eat, I try to drink water. Not that I am complaining about losing weight haha. I just get annoyed at the “baby inner tube” I have from when I was preggers with chublet, plus since I had a c-section with him, my abdomen is just all… pouchy like. Which yes, bothers me.

I did this simple flower layout… I guess I will put a small image of what it looks like up….

I am not going to use it for OSN, not sure what to do with it though… if it is decent or not, hard to tell from a small image though I know…

Some random plugs: SoDream, Plastic Tiara, Emotional Bruise, Cherokee Mud, Faerie-Tale, Meditative Rose

So rare I ever do actual plugging, but random plugging? Unheard of! Lovely sites so give them tons of praise!

Hmm, I drank 16.9oz of water so far, so go me and now to decide if I should go back to bed, or just stay up… choices choices….

Rose
posted on May 23rd 2003 at 10:14AM CDT

Congratulations to you for not playing the part to him.  He made his decisions, now he has to live with them.  It sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.

I have never heard of the walking away the pounds video.  It sounds interesting though.  I would like to know what you think about it when you get it.

The flower layout looks great.  You have done wonderfully losing weight.  You should be proud of yourself.