Today we hit a breastfeeding milestone, 6 weeks of Tristan having nothing but my breastmilk to nourish and sustain him. Now keep in mind, I am sleep deprived as I write this.

tristan-nursing-3

It’s interesting for me considering I breastfed my oldest son from birth until he self weaned after he turned 4yrs old. I’ve gone back and re-read all my archives, not only did I sound like a typical blogger at the time heh, but even then I was passionate about breastfeeding and the benefits for both me and my son.

With Tristan we did encounter some issues for the first 3 weeks, mainly that he was a very chill/sleepy baby so he would fall asleep at the breast as soon as he would latch, it caused many worries for me as I had zero issues breastfeeding my first son. Thankfully after week 3 and two visits to a lactation consultant (who loved our BumGenius cloth diapers, and said we were the first parents to use cloth diapers in all her 10+ yrs working as a LC!), he has “woken up” if you will, and we’ve had no further issues.

tristan-nursing-2

I do feel a large part of my breastfeeding “success” is that formula/bottles were never an option in my mind. As with my first, I made sure we did not have any artificial nipples in the home, did not purchase formula (which NEVER crossed my mind even when I was pregnant with my first son), and I’ve always had a “this will work no matter what I have to do” attitude.

I also did not let anyone’s opinions affect me. I could care less if my family, friends, hell my boyfriend, supported me in my choice. Granted it’s nice to have that emotional support I’m sure, but at the end of the day it’s a relationship between my child and myself. One worth fighting for.

I remember the nurses being judgmental and downright rude to me as I nursed Tristan. I had almost every single nurse act surprised and even angry that I did not have sore nipples or breasts from letting my newborn nurse as much as he wanted/needed to. I had one nurse (that I “fired”) verbally attack me for letting him stay at the breast for 3 hours one afternoon. That it wasn’t “normal”. I had many nurses try to get me to leave him in the nursery… for no reason at all. I of course declined, and after a certain point, not so politely.

When I had Daniel, the nurses made it their personal goal to try and talk me into giving him formula, one even tried to sneak a bottle into my baby without my knowledge or consent, if it wasn’t for my twin sister noticing and stopping it, who knows what could have happened. I had one night nurse try to tell me that it was ok to give formula because it would be given through an oral syringe, so that made it “ok” in her eyes.

In both cases, no one had a valid reason of why they were so disturbed that I was breastfeeding my new baby. In both cases I did not have one single nurse that was happy to see me breastfeeding.

tristan-nursing-1

I do realize I tend to judge, and I am harsh, to those who formula feed by CHOICE. Very few people have a valid reason to not breastfeed. Most of the reasons are selfish, misguided, lazy, or they cave into pressure from those around them to give their babies a dead powdered (possibly recalled) substance filled with corn syrup, oils, powdered vitamins, etc.

I also realize some people that make the CHOICE to formula feed, do so out of ignorance. How many times have we all heard mother’s say they chose to feed their infants formula because the baby was “so hungry!” around 2 weeks, 3 months, etc. It hurts me that simply because their baby was going through a growth spurt, instead of RESEARCHING it, instead of reaching out to their local LLL or LC, they instead cram a bottle of potentially harmful material into their babies mouths.

It’s NOT NORMAL that we have to have LAWS in place to be able to nourish our babies the way our bodies are set up to do. We have milk ducts for a reason.

tristan-bed-1

Now granted I may come across a bit harsh and I fully expect that I will offend/upset someone with my thoughts and opinions. I am not going to apologize for that. Generally those who FEEL attacked, are actually feeling guilty or not confident in their parental choice for feeding their child.

On the other hand, those who have a valid medical reason (of course trying to get donated breastmilk first), should have the ability to use formula to feed their child.

I’ve gotten a bit off track here, suffice to say I plan on breastfeeding Tristan until he self-weans, just like his big brother did, there is absolutely no reason why I would do it any differently.

tristan-bed-3

share this post

Subscribe to my posts via email

You can also follow me on BlogLovin or Feedly
Ashley
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:13PM CDT

Congrats on making it six weeks! I know a lot of people never even try breastfeeding and it just completely baffles me. I set out with the goal of doing it for as long as it works for us. So far we’ve made it to three months, and I’m hoping to exclusively breastfeed to six months, and then probably wean but still pump for her cereal.
.-= {Ashley´s shared blog entry… Payday!} =-.

posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:15PM CDT

Yay for three months!! Is there any reason why you would wean her at 6 months when WHO recommends breastfeeding for two years and AAP suggests at least one year minimum?

Ashley
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:23PM CDT

Well, it’s mostly going to be because I’m starting work, and she’s going to be 50/50 between pumped and breast. So I will be happy if I can do three more months of pumping. I hate pumping with a passion, if I didn’t have to work I wouldn’t. =)
.-= {Ashley´s shared blog entry… Payday!} =-.

Jenn
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:25PM CDT

I agree with everything in this blog entry. Everything. :) You rock Sarah. And Tristan is so lovely! I would love to see more photos of him, whenever you get the chance. :)

Thasanee
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:26PM CDT

People who don’t BF don’t have the support and right, don’t have the right knowledge, but I wouldn’t berate them for doing so. I’d just feel really sorry for their child and for them.

It so surprises me that nurses were not being supportive. Over here I have not heard hardly any stories about that happening. Maybe its a regional thing *shrugs* people over here tend to be more progressive (though its sad that breastfeeding is “progressive”). I’m still unsure how long I will breastfeed. I’m sure it will be 6 months at the least but I am aiming for a year. I am going to breastfeed because I know the health benefits (and environmental benefits), and after that period that I feel I do not need to breastfeed anymore, I will not use formula because I know there are other options, of course I know the best choice is BM but again, my choice. I think that’s what I respect about people, they explore their options (at least the ones who do)and do what they feel is right for them. I know it will be hard for me when I student teach next fall when my little one will be about 3-4 months old, and I might feel pressure to cave into formula, but like I’ve said on twitter, my mom supports this decision (albeit a bit pushy about it lol) and I know she will help me in whatever way I can, so that lessens the worry.

Sarah, I totally respect your views, your opinions; you don’t need to apologize for having them. For me, as long as people respect that everyone might agree to disagree, then it’s no big deal. I’m glad that Tristian is healthy and happy :)
.-= {Thasanee´s shared blog entry… Few and Far Between} =-.

posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:38PM CDT

@Ashley, pump as much as you can now, really build up that freezer stash!

@Jenn, THANK YOU!! It’s funny, I took SO many photos of Danny as an ity bity, but I think this c-section with Tristan really knocked me out physically. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was anemic ugh. So it’s harder for me to find the energy to compose a photo, lol I am too picky to “suck it up” and use Keith’s point and shoot lol.

@Thasanee, that’s more of a blanket statement, the MAJORITY of women these days in America, are WELL informed of the health benefits of breastfeeding, however they are led to believe formula is “just as good” or use the statement “I was formula fed and I’m fine”. You’re right though, SO MANY women do not have the support, I just don’t find that as an excuse because at 19yrs of age I didn’t have ANY support and I didn’t let that sway me, my son was more important than other people’s opinions.

Generally you will find that hospitals are NOT supportive of “natural” ANYTHING. Until you encounter it directly it’s so hard to believe that the medical profession could care less about the best for mother/baby. It’s all about the financial bottom line.

I completely disagree though, about it being a “choice” per say. I love this quote, “While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby. ~Amy Spangler”. I think so many people “try” (and yes I think of Yoda, “do or do not, there is no try), with the thought that, well if it doesn’t work out perfectly right away, they can fall back on formula.

I sound a bit disjointed here, nursing Tristan actually as I type this, don’t worry lol, I would NEVER apologize for how I feel especially when it comes to breastfeeding. I only feel bad that there are so many mothers that carry SO MUCH guilt for not giving their child the best nutrition from the start, for putting their needs before their child’s.

Thasanee
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:43PM CDT

I totally love that quote now :D I don’t know I guess being new to the mommyworld and really being exposed to this community and side of the parenting world I’ve never been apart of, its hard for me. I think that once I actually have my child in my arms, my convictions and opinions will develop more strongly. I am really glad I found your blog, it’s really opened my eyes to a whole different world I knew not about!

I guess we will see what my experiences are like when I go through the last trimester/labor. Though I am pretty good at telling people off so I am sure the nurses/doctors will be scared of me :D … and my mom… she’s 10x worse than me. I’m a very cranky, I better get my way type of gal so I don’t let things like that what happened to you fly and it will be known with full force and flurry. I might just consider birthing at home LOL I don’t even want to think about the nurses…
.-= {Thasanee´s shared blog entry… Few and Far Between} =-.

Thasanee
posted on November 13th 2009 at 1:44PM CDT

Oops sorry BTW, for the record, I do agree for the most part with your post! ^_^
.-= {Thasanee´s shared blog entry… Few and Far Between} =-.

Kristina Brooke
posted on November 13th 2009 at 3:11PM CDT

Congrats on your breastfeeding success. I decided before my daughter was born that I would give her breastmilk. I also decided that for us exclusively pumping would be the best way to do so. A large part of that was because of my chest size and how difficult it is for me to see over them. I am a natural J cup so things get pretty difficult and uncomfortable.

I EP for 15 months. My plan was to go for two years but with me working and going to grad school I could not pump enough to keep up. However, at 15 months, rather than got to formula (which we had to use every now and then) we went to solids and milk.

I agree with you that breastmilk is best, but I got so much flack from the lactation consultants who stressed me out so much with trying to convince me to breastfeed in the traditional way that I almost went to formula. We know that breastfeeding is best, but I think if more moms knew about Exclusively Pumping more babies may get breastmilk. And while it’s not the best it is second only to traditional breastfeeding.
.-= {Kristina Brooke´s shared blog entry… The Honest Scrap Award: I’ve Been Blessed} =-.

TheFeministBreeder
posted on November 13th 2009 at 5:55PM CDT

First of all, congratulations for making it 6 weeks!

I really think it helps to say to yourself “formula is not an option.” For me and my second baby, I would not even keep it in the house. They sent us the free cans of course, which went into the garbage. I simply did not want to have that out. With my first son, it was all too easy to give up and go to formula because it was around, and because I just wasn’t educated enough or supported enough to make it work.

I also want to say that your blog is gorgeous (I keep meaning to tell you this) and that those baby pics are hella scrumptious.

Again, congrats on 6 weeks! I’m sure I’ll be saying the same thing to you about 6 months, and 1 year, and as long as he keeps going. I’m going on 18 months nursing my son (who got nothing but breastmilk until he started solids even though I worked sometimes 17 hour days — if anyone here wants inspiration for working and pumping and never ever ever having to give formula, I’m your girl!)
.-= {TheFeministBreeder´s shared blog entry… VIDEO: Mother Dropped by OB at 40 Weeks Pregnant} =-.

Anna
posted on November 13th 2009 at 6:32PM CDT

I don’t get why so many people were against the breastfeeding at the hospital. That was not my experience at all. I made it clear from before I gave birth that Cassidy had to stay in the room with me at all times and that there would be no formula and that was that. Nobody challenged me on it at all. I’d have been pretty pissed if I had been in your shoes!

Before I had her people kept telling me what a challenge breastfeeding was though. My ex’s mom actually told me she thought it was DIRTY! She was an idiot anyway. Cassidy was just minutes old when she was handed to me, latched on and sucked away. It just felt so natural and I never had a problem with latching or supply or anything so I think I might have just been lucky.

Congrats on having such a healthy baby boy.

posted on November 13th 2009 at 8:44PM CDT

@Thasanee, I highly suggest, if you can afford it, getting a doula for the birth/postpartum period. I also suggest checking out some LLL meetings, joining the LLL board, the MDC board, etc.

@Kristina Brooke, I would have to find the link, but it’s said that 1. breastmilk from the breast itself 2. expressed breastmilk 3. donated breastmilk 4. formula. So the fact that your daughter had ONLY YOUR BREASTMILK is AMAZING and really shows that if you truly want your child to get the best you will do anything/everything possible, even though pumping isn’t exactly the most fun activity it is WORTH it to give your child the best. I am so proud of you!

@TheFeministBreeder, thank you! I plan on nursing Tristan just as long I nursed his big brother (4yrs). I completely agree, Keith thought I was joking when I told him formula never occurs to me mentally, it’s either breastmilk or starve. It simply is NOT an option for me or my children.

Aww thank you, I find wordpress to be simple to work with and the photos… I wish I had the energy to shoot more, I halfway believe I am anemic because I remember having more energy with my first!

I was working when Danny was 18 months old and obviously, he never had formula. I also have never pumped/given bottles. When he was that age I permitted water out of a sippy cup/regular cup, I would suggest if you are pumping to do that as well, Danny got a kick out of feeling like a “big boy” with the cups while I was working. Granted I worked only 30hrs a week though so I’m not sure what your hours are like.

@Anna, it just occurred to me if I got more of the formula pressure with both boys due to having a c-section? Something to ponder. I also made it clear with both children that formula was NOT permitted, that I did NOT consent to use of that or ANYTHING to be given to my children. Daniel recieved a bottle of glucose water BEFORE they brought him to me to nurse, apparently his bio-dad “convinced” me while under morphine AND Demerol that my hours old son was “starving” and that was the “only way” to keep him alive.

Bitter? Oh yes.

I didn’t know ANYONE that had breastfed except for one neighbor who told me how great breastfeeding is, then in the same breath told me I better stock up on formula because nursing had no nutrition and was only to get the baby to sleep. Uhhh. I still don’t grasp that at ALL.

How long did you nurse Cassidy for?

posted on November 13th 2009 at 8:56PM CDT

Love all the pictures… I am still breastfeeding my 2nd daughter, she will be three in January… I will have to ween her before my 3rd trimester if she doesnt cause I need to let my body make the colostrum (sp) for the new baby due this summer… I never had a problem at the hospital with the nurses, the only person I have ever had an issue with is my mom and still have an issue. She thinks I should only breastfeed for the first 3-6 months then stop, it is driving her batty I think that I still do it. I think she finds it embarrassing she will leave the house or a room i am in if i need to feed Emma.I have no problem with moms who decided to use formula, I feel its a choice some women just dont like it. I had a friend who had no choice to use formula when she had her son at 21 wks and she was not making milk and the nurses told her to pump even though she had no milk coming out and was in pain. I also think that work places should be more helpful with moms that come back to work and are bf. When I went back to work after my 1st and I wanted to use one of the many board rooms I was told they had no locks on the door and that if I wanted to pump I could use one of the handicap stalls. I would pump in the stall but dump the milk no way was I bringing it home. That upset me a lot that I had to dump it but I couldnt not pump I was in so much pain if i didnt. I am hoping Emma doesnt get upset when she sees me bf the new baby and she cant have any booba (thats what we call it lol easier for her to say)…
.-= {draven´s shared blog entry… Too early?} =-.

Amanda
posted on November 13th 2009 at 9:06PM CDT

Tristan is absolutely adorable. I love his little fat on his chin in the last pic. Baby squishness!

My experience in the hospital breast feeding was completely different from yours. All the nurses encouraged breast feeding, encouraged baby rooming in (She probably left my side for a max of 1/2 hr each day), and had an LC on duty to help with any problems. They even brought a recliner in so Randy could stay with me and get some rest as well. I guess it’s a case by case basis.

We’ve already had our breast feeding discussion via twitter so you know where I stand on that. You do come off a bit harsh but if you’re passionate about something you shouldn’t feel bad for expressing your opinion. I will say that generally the women I’ve come across (in my family both immediate and extended) do NOT know the benefits of breast feeding due to lack of research or plain ignorance. Everyone I know has done formula “just because that’s normal” and when i was breast feeding at my grandma’s soon after Gracie was born my mom made me cover up with a blanket b/c my uncle was in the room. Give me a break. It’s a boob for fucks sake.

I also laughed when a friend was watching Gracie when i napped the other day and she put a “normal” (Read: disposable) diaper on her to see how her clothes fit then. I laughed. My diapers are plenty normal tyvm.

*sigh* People’s ignorance is astounding. Anyhoo, congrats on the 6 week mark! My goal for my next child is to exclusively breast feed now that I’m armed with the knowledge I didn’t have initially with Gracie. I’m just glad we’ve got Gracie back to breast feeding.
.-= {Amanda´s shared blog entry… day to day} =-.

posted on November 13th 2009 at 10:37PM CDT

@Draven, thank you! Oh you don’t have to wean her, your body will naturally start producing colostrum again for the new baby even if your oldest is still nursing! Amazing what our bodies can do! I completely agree, when I was still employed at GeekSquad (BestBuy), not only was I attacked for keeping the pregnancy, but they were HORRIFIED when I brought up I would need to pump (obviously I no longer have to do that) and would need a private room that was NOT the bathroom to do so. They seriously looked horrified and disgusted, I was just shocked at their reaction. Oh I am STILL angry.

If you still choose to wean your oldest, I suggest a weaning “party”, the whole bit, a cake, one present maybe, a going away ceremony, something exciting to CELEBRATE how long she nursed.

@Amanda, thank you! I still remember the first time I saw him, I first noticed how pale his eyebrows are lol, and how SQUISHY his CHINS are! It’s why I call him squishy or uber squish lol.

Again, I REALLY wonder if my experience has to do with having a c-section, I am really curious about this now! It seems like those who had vaginal deliveries had pro-bfing all around!

I do know I come across a bit harsh, I’ve had people in the past get VERY defensive when I blog / talk about breastfeeding. I do feel parents need to do the research. They research buying a car, a digital camera, hell how many calories are in a cupcake, but they do NOT research nutrition, vaccinations, circumcision, diapering, etc for their children! I do not get it!

My own mother, who is an RN, formula fed us from day one. When I was pregnant with Danny, she was very pro-formula, tried to convince me to FF him, and was amazed that I did not bottlefeed/pacifier/formula feed him EVER. She was surprised I could breastfeed when Daniel got his teeth, shocked that he still nursed as a toddler, was pleased to see that he rarely if ever got sick. Now she is much more pro-breastfeeding.

Oh lord, I couldn’t BELIEVE how rarely people see cloth diapered babies! Our LC cloth diapered all her children (flats and pins!), and was SO pleased that not only did we CD but how neat pocket diapers were!

I am SO proud of you for nursing again, hard to believe our babies are 6wks already!

Freya
posted on November 14th 2009 at 10:14AM CDT

I feel kind of conspicuous commenting since I do not have any children and do not plan on having any anytime soon, but that is probably just Me being silly. :)

Basically I just wanted to say a couple of things. Firstly, your blog is one of the most interesting things I have stumbled upon in the past couple of days — and I have stumbled a LOT recently. Considering I do not have kids, I really have not given much time to reading parenting blogs, but somewhere between the progressive yet perfectly natural approach to parenting and the cute pictures, I almost caught Myself trying to read all the pages. Which would probably take Me the rest of the week. Meaning I would get nothing else done. :D

Secondly, to be honest, I never understood the stigma towards breastfeeding parents either. Being raised by My father and not My mother, I did not have the opportunity, but that does not mean I would go the “I was raised on [whatever substance My dad used… I should ask him about that] and I turned out fine” route. I was a very healthy baby, but I can only imagine how much more healthier I would have been had I been breastfed.

I mean, guys can sit around looking at boobs all day on the Internet, but as soon as a woman pulls out a mammary to use it for what it was intended, the whole world goes up in flames. I am confused.

ANYWAY! I totally just rambled. The point is, I love your work and now I am going back to read more. :D

P.A.
posted on November 14th 2009 at 2:37PM CDT

Congratulations to you AND Tristan, and wow so blessed!

It’s funny how people experience such different attitudes! My experience has been the opposite, and not just in my short time as a mother. All of my life it’s been clear to me that breast feeding is best. I sat in the hospital with my screaming, starving, dehydrated son, crying along with him telling people, ‘he’s HUNGRY!’ and being told NO! he’s breast feeding fine, babies just CRY.

Turned out that he was so dehydrated (which i’d also mentioned- his dry mouth (I kept saying, ‘He can’t latch on because his mouth is too dry’), his fists in his mouth and his rooting- all signs of hunger) he couldn’t even take a bottle.

It took us 5 weeks, but he’s now almost bottle-free. And the nipple confusion from breast-and-bottle feeding? It’s at bottle nipples : P so cute/funny. He can latch onto me in the dark but bottles sometimes send him into complete rages of confusion.

C-section affected he and I so badly : ( and no one on the medical staff ever addressed that. I kept telling them that, also (he’s early, my body isn’t ready, I never had ANY labor, you douches! : P)

I really wish I could help encourage other women who want to breast feed but it doesn’t work out easily to keep trying. Without a breast pump (which again, I was told wouldn’t work for me because ‘your body won’t respond like it will to your baby’) I couldn’t have built up a supply while he was too weak to nurse.

My #1 reason for breast feeding is that I have a strong immune system, and his father does not. I just want him to be strong and well!

On the other hand, you are veryyyy lucky to have your man’s support. If I get in the shower and baby cries? Bottle goes in his mouth. If I am making dinner and he is fussy? Bottle in mouth. Everyone wants to feed him to sleep ALL THE TIME. He’s almost 6 weeks old, he isn’t -supposed- to sleep all the time. He nurses for what he needs, then he’s alert and happy for a while, nurses, alert etc. He sleeps well at night (every mother’s DREAM). I didn’t even buy any bottles or formula- daddy did. I protested, daddy said ‘oh well’. So frustrating to have to pump while baby sleeps because he was over fed FORMULA *head>desk*.

I guess our experiences really are quite opposite : P

Amber
posted on November 14th 2009 at 11:47PM CDT

I am breastfeeding my second baby right now, at 15 months old. Although, of course, not exclusively at this point. I breastfed my first child until she was almost 3. So, you know I’m all about the breastfeeding.

I’ve found that lots of medical professionals are supportive of breastfeeding on the surface. But as soon as anything diverts from ‘normal’ they’re very quick to jump to formula. And I see that as a MAJOR problem. Yes, mothers can and should inform themselves. But so should the medical professionals advising them. Should it really surprise us that so many moms struggle to breastfeed successfully when the people who are caring for them are sabotaging them?

It makes my heart hurt, honestly. :(
.-= {Amber´s shared blog entry… Mo-Mo-Movember} =-.

posted on November 15th 2009 at 6:22PM CDT

LOVE this post, and the accompanying pictures. Fantastic, mama! Way to go on six beautiful weeks (and four wonderful years before this). I breastfed all three of my boys for a combined grand total of seven years. It remains by far one of my biggest accomplishments in life. As a postpartum doula, I’ve been so fortunate to work with families to help make their breastfeeding goals a reality. It’s a wonderful thing for babies, mothers, fathers, communities and the environment. I can’t say enough :)
.-= {The Maven´s shared blog entry… A Conversation with Gutsy’s Friends} =-.

Sara
posted on November 15th 2009 at 8:35PM CDT

I think my mom also met a lot of resistance to breastfeeding in South Dakota after her emergency c section. My sister received formula at the hospital and by the time she tried to switch to pumping, she couldn’t produce enough. It was rough on my mom and to this day my sister is the chubbiest of all of us, partly due to fatty formula and prematurity. I also blame the hormones in regular milk, which she drank constantly through childhood. She had early onset of puberty and all that jazz… I don’t know why people don’t pay attention to these things…. But at least our eyes are open.

posted on November 15th 2009 at 9:25PM CDT

@Freya, yay for commenting even if you don’t have kids yet! Thank you for the sweet words, I don’t feel very interesting especially lately lol. I think a lot of us (including myself who my registered nurse mother formula fed from day one) THINK we are “fine” when we are not. Granted some of the effects of being fed formula and cows milk from birth may not appear until we are elderly, but still, the damage is done.

@P.A., thank you!! I just feel for you so much, with both of us having the c-sections from hell with awful medical personnel. Nurses and doctors these days know VERY LITTLE about breastfeeding. Babies DO NOT “just cry”. Crying does NOT develop lungs (drives me absolutely insane to hear this). YAY see your baby realizes he’s getting a fake nipple and doesn’t want it! How awesome is that!!!

I agree, your partner is doing everything possible to ruin your breastfeeding relationship AND health of his newest son. To have someone do that, gods, I would be FLIPPING out. I also agree that a LOT of people FORCE FEED formula, making sure EVERY DROP is out of that bottle and proudly proclaim their 1 week old baby took EIGHT OUNCES, then turn around and proclaim they have a sick baby or “colic” baby because the baby starts to vomit and cry. Ugh their poor tummies…

I’m getting off track here heh. You’re right, having that support is awesome, Keith was scared of breastfeeding actually, apparently growing up he was at a public event (a dining tent) as a teenager and a very “long” (I assume he meant saggy?) breasted woman (ironic considering my chest size), took out her entire breast to feed her baby. In his mind, she wasn’t being polite. He also admitted that he viewed it with a teenage mind and at first didn’t realize she was going to breastfeed, just that she was taking her entire breast out of her shirt in a dramatic fashion.

When I first became pregnant with Tristan I made it VERY clear that he was going to be breastfed and until he self-weaned at that! I explained Danny self-weaned after he turned 4yrs of age which freaked Keith out. He knew NOTHING about breastfeeding, breastmilk, ANY of it.

When we went to Borders a week or so ago, I of course nursed the baby (heh MANY times) and it was the first time he saw someone he knew breastfeed in public. He wasn’t sure of the etiquette, I had to explain the bathroom and covering up were NOT options. I straightened him out right quick. He said the reason it didn’t bother him when I did it, even though, due to the shirt I was wearing, my breast was coming from the TOP of the shirt, aka exposing the whole breast, was that I did it in a way that was subtle.

I don’t get the subtle comment, I sat in a chair and paced hoping I would find a book I would like enough to bring home (I didn’t find any at that time heh).

Before me he only saw three other women breastfeed, the one that is forever burned in his brain apparently, one other woman, and a friend of his who covered up with a towel or hid in the bathroom or car… (I do NOT understand the cover-up or hiding, I couldn’t eat under fabric…).

I am so long-winded.

@Amber, yay for nursing past a year! I completely agree, I feel that the medical folk SAY breastfeeding is best only because… it IS… but they rather would force all babies to use formula because, really, it’s a controlled substance that does not change at all. So there is no variation from baby to baby. Also formula fed babies commonly are sick so that also brings in more money and typically formula feeding parents are more likely to do ALL the vaccines as well, aka MONEY.

@The Maven, thank you so much!! I am so curious if Tristan will nurse for 4yrs or even 5! It’s a personal goal of mine to show Keith how awesome breastfeeding is and how NORMAL it is. I have to give him credit, not once has he suggested formula or bottles. I would probably break his laptop if he did lol. Heck, I don’t think he quite grasped how “hard-core” I am about attachment parenting over all lol.

@Sarah, it’s proven time and time again that formula fed people are more likely to have weight issues, health issues, etc. They refuse to do the research and instead rely on the word of their “doctor” who isn’t going based on facts but their own personal opinions regarding breastfeeding!

Crystal Gold
posted on November 15th 2009 at 8:54PM CDT

This is a wonderful post and congratulations on your successful breastfeeding! I nursed my son until he was 2.5 and am so hoping to be able to nurse another baby one day. I was shocked to hear about your experience with the nurses. That is just horrible! I have considered switching careers and becoming a nurse so that at least a few less women will ever have to say they had that type of experience. I am personally a little paranoid about have my next in a hospital. I have images of nurses conspiring to get formula in my baby dancing in my head! ;) Thanks for sharing and your images are BEAUTIFUL!!
.-= {Crystal Gold´s shared blog entry… Response to a Weaning “Guide”} =-.

Tara
posted on November 15th 2009 at 9:10PM CDT

New follower here- Wonderful post and congrats on the 6 week milestone. I am shocked to hear how un-supportive of BFing your nurses were and in this day in age, they should really know better. I agree with you 100 % and am so saddened that so many women choose not to when they could. I unfortunately was one of those women who was medically challenged in the boob department (Breast reduction at age 18 for medical reasons). I always knew that my chances of being able to BF were limited but I was determined to give it my all. When I gave birth to my daughter it had been over 10 yrs since my surgery I was hoping my milk ducts had re-grown, I didn’t even know if I would get milk in. Well I did and despite being a very painful beginning full of tears and doubts and pumping my heart out I never gave up. And I was able to BF my daughter for almost 6 months (unfortunately I completely lost my milk at that point). It breaks my heart when I hear women say things like “oh we tried in the hospital and it was too hard so we just did formula” I would have killed to have 100% working boobs- people take that for granted. But I am determined that I can make it even longer if I have another child.
.-= {Tara´s shared blog entry… Guest Recipe of the Week 2- RESULTS!!} =-.

posted on November 15th 2009 at 9:40PM CDT

@Crystal Gold, Thank you so much!!!! Oh I was freaking the hell out with BOTH kids, especially considering with my first son they actually DID try to sneak formula into his ity bity body! I couldn’t WAIT to leave both times just to be able to rest and not freak out about the possibility of them being given formula, sugar water, vaccinations, etc.

Relating to the c-section recovery, one nurse got PISSED OFF that Keith was helping me walk out of the bathroom, she was raising her voice that I HAD to do it ALONE!!! I explained, oh no I didn’t that Keith was there to help me every step of the way (literally!) and she made the snide remark that he wouldn’t be there a week from now, a month from now… he responded that uh actually he WOULD be as long as I needed his assistance. Oh she was furious and ignored all our requests after that.

I have so much bitterness from the hospital stay heh.

@Tara, thank you so much! I am so PROUD OF YOU for doing what was BEST for your daughter! I know many women with supply issues who are killed emotionally when they hear healthy women with a perfect supply and perfect latch, make comments on it being “too hard”. I don’t understand what they found so difficult, holding their baby?

Freya
posted on November 16th 2009 at 12:49AM CDT

Ah yes, cow’s milk. Well, at least I was never fed that in childhood, the consumption of which I still find extremely strange among human beings. Maybe because I never saw a cow drinking human breast milk… haha.

There are a lot of things that the gen-pop feeds their kids that I do not understand when I really sit down to think about it. Like some of the ‘solid’ foods — seriously, is it that hard to blend actual fruits and vegetables in a processor until they are the same consistency as Gerber’s or the like? At least you know what is in it. Some of the stuff WIC gave My dad when I was a baby was not even worth feeding our family dog.

Well, at any rate, now that I feel at least a little more enlightened thanks to this blog, if I ever see a woman nursing her child and some douche decides to be, well, a douche, I have a few retorts up My sleeve for him or her. :)

[BTW… those nurses you dealt with sound like… I cannot even think of the appropriately nasty word for them. My temper would have gotten their snide arses hurt, post-natal weakness or not.]

Mamirosa & Co.
posted on November 16th 2009 at 10:32AM CDT

Aww…. those are the most adorable pictures!
I agree on everything with you.
I breastfed my daughter up until a few months ago. And I only quit because I was put on Metformin to try to get pregnant again and the doctor told me not to breastfeed while I was on it. It broke my heart. I think it shattered into a million pieces but I didn’t want the medicine to go into HER system so… it was a hard thing to do for me. She had a tough time the first few weeks but she’s finally done. She was only doing it at night though. More for comfort, but still you know? =(

So glad that it’s working out for you. =)

Melodie
posted on November 16th 2009 at 3:29PM CDT

Wow, no supportive nurses. Makes me think all the nurses in that hospital should be licking envelopes for a living instead of pretending to support new moms. Good for you for knowing what’s right for your baby, and heck, all babies for that matter! Your little guy is gorgeous by the way. :)

posted on November 16th 2009 at 5:52PM CDT

@Freya, oh lordy do not get me started on jarred food or those little microwavable meals specifically for babies and toddlers. Ugh. Yeah I don’t seem to have luck with the medical profession heh.

@Mamirosa, thank you so much!! How old is your daughter? I can totally imagine how hard it must have been emotionally to consciously wean (as opposed to child led weaning).

@Melodie, thank you!! I still am angry about the situation, ESPECIALLY how UPSET they got that I didn’t have sore nipples or breasts! As if they would have felt vindicated if I was in pain from breastfeeding. Even though I made it very clear I had nursed a child before, that he NURSED until 4 yrs of age… yet still their reaction saddened me and pissed me off.

Michelle Potter
posted on January 15th 2010 at 9:18PM CDT

I read a parenting book once (I won’t recommend it to you since I know it clashes with your ideals in certain regards other than breastfeeding) where the author works with women who live in a remote area. Someone asked her what the women she worked with thought of breastfeeding, so she asked and they just looked at her blankly, not understanding the question. Their response was along the lines of, “What’s there to think about? Breasts make milk, babies eat it.” That’s how I was when I had my first. Funny thing is, I had never really been around any babies before that, but I’d never even considered breast vs. bottle as a choice. I think my MIL or someone asked me what I was planning to do and I said, “Um, breastfeed?” in a voice like I wasn’t aware there were other options, LOL. Maybe it’s because I was breastfed. ;)

I never really had any hospital staff try to undermine my breastfeeding, even after my c-sections. (Thank GOD. It’s probably the *only* thing they *didn’t* give me crap about.) After my first baby — which was a c-section — *one* nurse made a comment about not letting him use me as a pacifier. But since I was so oblivious to the formula pushing, it didn’t even occur to me that her comment might be about anything other than my son’s weird refusal to let go of my nipple for even a few minutes during the first few days. (He *literally* nursed 24/7 at first — he’d fall asleep at the breast, and if I tried to remove my nipple from his mouth he’d cry and wake up. None of my other babies did that. He’s still a weird child, LOL. Luckily I had nothing better to do than lay in bed and let him nurse all he wanted. :D )

My third baby had a complicated vaginal birth (she was head down and in no hurry until 42w3d, when she suddenly decided to turn footling breech and hightail it out of there in 45 minutes flat) and was in the NICU for four days. She was fed by IV for a short while (maybe a couple of hours?) because of concern she would aspirate her food, but the hospital loaned me a pump and planned to give her my breastmilk in a feeding tube until she could eat — she ended up not needing the feeding tube and I nursed her myself. The nurses in the NICU were great, and called my room every time she woke up so I could nurse her (if I wasn’t already there).

When I had my 5th baby by another c-section (my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th were all VBAC, but there was a problem with the placenta with my 5th), not only did no one give me any grief about breastfeeding, the hospital LC stopped by my room, saw I was in the middle of breastfeeding and said, “Looks like you don’t need any help! I guess by now you know what you’re doing, huh?” Which was true, LOL.

The only person who has ever really given me a hard time was my grandmother. According to my mom, she actively sabotaged my mom breastfeeding my younger brothers, and she was absolutely *shocked* at me for breastfeeding my oldest son when my grandfather was in the room. (As the son of poor Italian immigrants, I am *so sure* he’s never seen a woman breastfeed before, LOL. He did not care at all!) I love my grandma, but as my mom says, “Smile, nod, and then do whatever you want.” Everyone else either couldn’t care less, or is totally supportive. (Especially my MIL, who was a LLL leader in the 70s!) My FIL even told me that he just doesn’t understand what the big deal is — when he was growing up in West Texas in the 50s, women would be working in the fields with their babies, and when the baby was hungry they’d just sit down wherever they could and nurse.

Oh, PS, my youngest baby nursed until he was 14 months old. He’s about 18 months now, and yesterday I brought him in the shower with me to bathe him. When he saw my nipples he got all excited! He had absolutely no interest in resuming nursing, but it was like he’d found something wonderful that he’d lost — he was laughing and pointing and squealing with joy. Totally hilarious!

posted on January 18th 2010 at 8:22PM CDT

I realize that this is a late comment, but I love this post! Congrats on breastfeeding and you’re so right when you say:

“Generally those who FEEL attacked, are actually feeling guilty or not confident in their parental choice for feeding their child.”

I love that! It make perfect sense!

posted on January 19th 2010 at 7:59PM CDT

@Michelle I am so glad no one undermined your efforts! Even while PREGNANT, in the ER trying to see why Tristan wasn’t moving (turns out this baby is just CHILL), I would have nurses go through a form “breast or bottle” which drives me nuts it should be “breastmilk or artificial formula”…

I would of course say “breast of course!” and suddenly, even though I am laying there freaking out about my baby, they would go into a verbal tirade that formula is the “same”, that they hope I wasn’t “one of those breastfeeding nazi’s”.

Yeah. I have a lot of stories.

@Claire thank you so much!!

posted on May 27th 2012 at 1:03AM CDT

I know this entry is uber old… since Tristan is what, 2-3? Anyway. Do hospitals get money for getting women to use formula? I was one of the “rare” ones that couldn’t breastfeed for a legitimate health reason, but nobody at the hospital questioned why or anything. I don’t get it.

Leave a Reply

Thank you for commenting! Comments are moderated according to my comment policy.