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I feel like I’m in that grey area where I have to make a huge choice on who to keep in my life (and thereby, my children’s lives) and who to get rid of. A lot of you know that I have a screwed up family and a few months ago I decided to let them back into our lives… now I’m wondering if that was such a wise idea.

It has me so completely stressed out which is why I’ve not been around so much. Perhaps I should do a password protected post to explain more? I feel like I need some perspective.

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posted on May 29th 2011 at 9:46AM CDT

You could do that (pw post). It might make you feel better :)

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posted on May 30th 2011 at 12:50PM CDT
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posted on May 29th 2011 at 12:59PM CDT

My two cents worth from the outside without any inside details: you are kind, open and willing to let people back into your life perhaps with the hope that they will bring a positive element into the life of the boys – that’s wonderful. Give them a chance, give you a chance too. If the separation has been long, perhaps a slow period of adjustment is needed (what to share and expect) – tolerance and patience. If after a given period of time you feel that these relationships are not what you had hoped for and are detrimental, then you may have to remove them. But, maybe it’s worth the chance?

Wishing you peace of mind!

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posted on May 30th 2011 at 12:50PM CDT

The problem is that I was betrayed… again.

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posted on May 30th 2011 at 1:03PM CDT

Very sorry to hear about the repeated betrayal – that sucks (sorry for the simplistic word). I am getting the impression that if this has already happened again, then they are either weak, selfish, or mean? What do they want from you?! The repercussions of cutting them out once and for all: in the short term: a mourning…in the long run: some regret for the “too bad, what if ?” but to be balanced with peace of mind.

Again, big hugs!

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posted on May 29th 2011 at 5:37PM CDT

I agree with Andree to an extent. I think that your willingness to give certain people a second (or perhaps 100th) chance to be positive people in your life shows great strength and trust on your side.

If these family members have continued to let you down, just how many chances can you give them before you’re completely out of patience and trust? I’ve allowed myself to drift away from someone I love dearly but who does nothing but beat me down and let me down. I can’t allow her to influence my moods because every time I’m near her my energy and happiness just drains out of me. She is family, but I can’t keep her close because I can’t be happy with her in my life.

I think you should write the PW post, just to get it out.

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posted on May 30th 2011 at 12:51PM CDT

I don’t think I do it out of patience LOL but the fear of the “what if”. What if I decide to cut these people out for good? What will the repercussions be?