Am I a Failure? (Organizing Woes)
I’ve struggled my entire life to be organized. To focus on the task at hand.
Generally, I don’t do so well. I would much rather stare at the sky than do laundry, dishes, or anything else “grown-up” in nature. I wasn’t raised to manage a household, was never given the tools to be financially responsible, and I suffer for it today. It also puts me in a position where I don’t know how to teach my own children, who will need those skills when they are adults.
When other mothers talk about how exhausted they are by the daily errands and house tasks, I simply don’t understand it. I feel like I must be missing some large “mommy” gene. Our days are far more relaxed than most. I think the only thing we do that is consistent are family dinners every single night and meal planning on Saturdays.
It really bothers me. I’ve read countless books on how to simplify my life, to gain control over the day, to not get so overwhelmed by everything, and yet here I am. Just as lost as ever.
We don’t get a chance to get out much simply because we are a one-vehicle household and I am a SAHM. It’s very hard for me because I tend to feel trapped if I’m in one place for too long. We try to go for walks but it’s getting colder and colder, which the boys don’t seem to appreciate.
So in turn, I get a “what’s the point” attitude. Why not let the laundry sit? We don’t get any visitors and we can easily reach into a basket for clean clothes. Why not put off sweeping the floor? The baby will make a mess of it anyway in a few short hours. It’s a fatalist attitude and I am aware of that, I just don’t know how to turn my pessimistic outlook into an optimistic one.
I want to provide routine and the tools to manage money and run a household to my children, but I don’t know how.
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