I have all these posts in draft, barely fleshed out, and instead I post yet another photo. Go figure.

I’m busy freaking out about my oldest going into 4th grade next month. From public schooling to homeschooling then unschooling BACK to public schooling. He’s totally calm. I’m freaking out.

$375 in school supplies with yet MORE that I still need to get and an entire school wardrobe to purchase, doesn’t help.

I live each day in “what if” panic. When is the school going to send us the rest of the paperwork? When will they contact us about a meeting to discuss his transition / catching up? We still have to pay the $80 registration fee. When is the best time to buy all the school clothes (due to their strict dress code policy)? How are we going to afford all this? How the heck am I going to manage all this as a one car household without making everyone late?

DH has to be at work at 8am. School starts at 9am.

So the latest DH can wake up is 7am or so, then I have to haul him 15min to work leaving the house around 7:30a, come home and make sure Danny is up and ready, get him to school which is 5-10min away depending on traffic in the morning by 8:55a. Ok, that sounds doable. Then pick Danny up at 3:30pm, dinner around 6-7pm, pick DH whenever (he has no set schedule, works 6 days a week 10-14hour days) and somehow get BOTH my kids to bed to do it all over again. Dreading all the driving come Winter.

I’m STILL trying to adjust to being a SAHM in general, now to go to being a SAHM to just the little one? What do people do all day? I was working full-time when Daniel was this age so I’m at a loss. I’m assuming a lot of park time and such? Right now my boys play with each other ALL DAY LONG (when they aren’t napping) so I’ve not really had to come up with any special activities.

I feel like Tristan is going to get bored of me very quickly. I’m no where near as much fun as his big brother.

I’ve tried to find a silver lining if you will and there is this. I will not have to hear my oldest complain about doing his chores because I’ll be taking them over (the daytime chores anyway).

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:11PM CDT

Just breathe. You’ll be fine, Danny will be fine, the driving will be fine, and you’ll find a way to afford it all.

You’re tired of waiting on the school to contact you and send paperwork? Call them. Tell them you need X paperwork, and want to schedule a meeting with Whoever as soon as possible.

If you have too much time during the day with Danny gone, you’ll find a new hobby, or revive an old one. Maybe you’ll take a current hobby to a new level. I don’t know this answer, sweetie… You tell me.

And don’t forget to breathe.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:17PM CDT

I still feel like that completely stupid 19 year old.

Oh I WOULD call the school but it’s shut down until the end of the month for renovation. If I don’t get something in the mail or a call from someone the first week of August I’ll probably call the district. I do look at their website every few days and noticed it’s “down for changes” so that’s positive.

I’m really worried how Tristan will deal with Daniel being in school all day. I come 4th on his list of awesome.

1. Dad
2. Danny
3. Milkies
4. Mom

I figure the house will be really clean and I’ll be able to bake more lol.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:21PM CDT

I’m familiar with that 19-year-old feeling, too. It’ll pass. But you know that.

And hey, at least you’re in Tristan’s Top 5! Sometimes I felt like I barely broke Jereme’s Top 10. Tristan may get a little lonely, but he’ll enjoy his time with Danny even more.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:51PM CDT

I guess part of me feels guilty that Tristan gets all this “time” with me that Danny never did because of the situation at the time.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:26PM CDT

I think Crystal is right… just breathe. The unknown and change can be overwhelming and even scary. Once you get a routine down and get everything sorted it will most likely ease your stress and anxiety about the whole thing. I’ve been here in IL since April and I still freak out… how am I going to afford the registration for my car and the license, am I the right color for state aid, Why am I not getting call backs for jobs, When am I going to get a job, how am I going to afford daycare when I get a job… it’s easy for your mind to run wild when you’re at home. People tell me to breathe and it helps… most of the time ;) Danny is a strong and bright boy just like his momma. You both will be just fine.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:52PM CDT

Thank you! LOL at this point my next tattoo will be the phrase “just breathe” as everyone is saying that to me lately!

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:18PM CDT

I’m just curious about why you have to drive him to and from school? My school was a half-hour walk away from my house and I had to walk to and from work every single day.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:21PM CDT

It’s what we are most comfortable doing.

I found out last night that my husband’s father drove him to school every morning until he hit high school, which is sweet!

If the school was just a bit closer I might have him ride his bike but as it is, it crosses one major street and another almost as major street next to a forest preserve. My anxiety can’t take it lol.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:47PM CDT

I agree that you should just breathe. Maybe you and Tristan will grow closer or you’ll pick up a new hobby. It’s going to be a major adjustment but you will all manage.

Just try to think of the positive here. Danny wants this and is excited. He’ll get to make new friends, get involved in more activities and maybe make things easier at home with regard to his overall happiness.

posted on July 15th 2011 at 3:54PM CDT

I don’t know if I could afford a new hobby lol but for sure the house and laundry will be easy to keep up!

I am a bit worried once the REALITY of school starts, Daniel’s enthusiasm will disappear.