I actually didn’t touch on the worst of it because it’s hard for me to accept and verbalize.

It took me until I was 28yrs old to realize that I wasn’t this awful disgusting vile person. Years of being told that I was from my parents, from DS1’s bio-dad, it really took a toll on me.

It’s almost like quitting an addiction really, every so often the urge flares up, to contact her, to ask her WHY, especially if my sister brings her up like she did recently, “You should go back to school so our parents can FINALLY be proud of you”. Statements like that send me into a spiral of self doubt for days at a time ugh.