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Grief

November 6th 2021 1 minute to read

It’s taken me weeks to even try to write this. I am emotionally so shut down… which is the opposite of how I am naturally. I just am unable to process this.

I’ve suffered so much pet loss in my life. But it’s never been like this. This is different. She was different. There was a bond, a connection, that I’ve never experienced with a pet before.

In the very early hours of October 20th, Fluff Fluff went from being completely fine to passing away. The emergency vet did x-rays and discovered her intestines and stomach had totally flipped around from where they should be, and her stomach was massively distended. My mother, who is a registered nurse, told me that to her, it sounded like something ruptured.

I am devastated. She was absolutely everything to me. We spent 95% of the day together. She was on me or next to me all day every day.

To go through my phone to find photos and videos to share… one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. Which says a lot, considering all the trauma I’ve had in my life.

I am not ok. Not even a little bit.

This post is over a year old which means the content may be outdated or no longer accurate.

Snippets

Exhausted

I only got four hours of broken-up sleep last night. I’ve never been good at napping. I’m just left in this exhausted awake state of being.

Beltane

Happy/Blessed Beltane, everyone!

Playing Catch-Up

I am pretty sure the last two weeks are catching up because I am beyond exhausted today. Trying to get caught up with the online world.

I Redesigned, Again

I redesigned OSN. It looks best at higher screen resolutions. That’s where you get all of the fancy effects. It’s fine on mobile but absolutely shines on a computer. Hopefully, everything works across the board. I tried to make the homepage an actual one, harkening back to the olden days of blogging.

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Recent Jams

As ever, Iā€™m so so sorry for your loss. I know how much she meant to you. šŸ–¤šŸ¤

Thank you and thank you for my endless sobbing phone calls.

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