Grief

It’s taken me weeks to even try to write this. I am emotionally so shut down… which is the opposite of how I am naturally. I just am unable to process this.

I’ve suffered so much pet loss in my life. But it’s never been like this. This is different. She was different. There was a bond, a connection, that I’ve never experienced with a pet before.

In the very early hours of October 20th, Fluff Fluff went from being completely fine to passing away. The emergency vet did x-rays and discovered her intestines and stomach had totally flipped around from where they should be, and her stomach was massively distended. My mother, who is a registered nurse, told me that to her, it sounded like something ruptured.

I am devastated. She was absolutely everything to me. We spent 95% of the day together. She was on me or next to me all day every day.

To go through my phone to find photos and videos to share… one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. Which says a lot, considering all the trauma I’ve had in my life.

I am not ok. Not even a little bit.