Grudge – Updated

August 29th 2006 / 7 minutes to read

I responded to all the comments, within the comments (if that makes sense!)

I woke up this morning to an irritating kitty, rain, and an email stating I was deleted from a message board, Lavish (run by Jenn) for “inactivity”. A board that I’ve been a member of for quite awhile now, I had almost 700 posts which is amazing for me. I can understand pruning a board, all for it in fact. I however don’t understand the inactivity considering I posted multiple times a week, in fact I had posted about 3 times yesterday as well. I never had any warnings, private messages, emails, or instant messages regarding my membership status. I could even understand if it was a personal website but a message board?

This seems to have started with a recent thread between two members who were fighting with each other and Jenn had made a very snippy comment in regards to this entry that I had written that included a small blurb about removing people from OSN membership.

I also believe, in part, this has to do with Jenn not approving of my personal friendships and her paranoia (which in the past few months have really gotten out of hand) that people are reading her site, joining her board to be “spies” or “leaks” of information. Apparently, because I am very good friends with people she disapproves of, this makes me a “leak” or “spy” in her eyes.

“this makes me a “leak” or “spy” in her eyes”

Sadly, I am not the first person to have this happen too, other close friends of mine have been deleted or attacked because of their off board friendships. I am not even going to elaborate on the way she’s been letting her “friends” go to the slaughter, so to speak, to preserve her status.

I am really disappointed in how this was handled. I am even slightly disgusted that because of my personal friendships, my long term clean membership to a message board community was removed because of her fears and paranoia.


So with my impending migraine (yay weather!) I checked my email and apparently this entry finally got Jenn to email me about why I was removed from the message board with literally no warning, and as we learn, no valid reasoning at all. For the hell of it, and cause… well… now I’m a touch cranky… my remarks will be made in pretty purple italics, her misinformed email will be in umm… dark green I suppose.

I’m sure you know by now that I removed you from Lavish. I’ve been mulling over in my head whether or not to contact you about it, and I decided that the “right” thing to do would be to talk to you about it.

Um yeah obviously. So basically she didn’t contact me at all for the entire length of time I’ve been a member, but only now when I publicly write about it does she feel the need to irritate me

You said yourself that you wanted to move on from people who you felt were not good for you. Since saying that myself, as well as a few other moderators/long-time members noticed that although you’ve been coming back and lurking silently around Lavish, you’ve never posted anything except plugs to your own site.

Because of hmm 3-5 members of the board out of the many… that I did not get along with, and because I wasn’t a post whore… I was punished? I rarely on my own board make new topics unless I feel the urge (aka on the ‘ced). So from what I understand that because I posted a thread about a new design or photos every few weeks or every month, but didn’t make other new threads or participate in threads I had nothing valuable to say in but made sure to visit daily… I am “Teh Evil”. Just trying to clarify here.

Perhaps it is petty, but after you up and decided that people you’ve known well and who knew you pretty well – some for quite a while (such as myself and Chrissy) – I didn’t understand why you would want to associate with us on a message board.
Chrissy herself pointed out to me that it seemed rather fishy that you were always lurking around threads that later got leaked out. Maybe it was you, maybe it wasn’t. I don’t want to think you would do something like that, but considering the people you associate with (they always say you can judge people by their friends) and the drama they enjoy causing and continuing, I can’t help but be suspicious. And from asking various people, I’m not the only one who thinks so.
Between that, and coming around just to plug your site, I decided that you weren’t really a part of the community, so why continue to keep your account around?

What is really funny is that she didn’t know me well. Not at all. Just whatever I posted on my website. Rarely if ever did we have an actual conversation much less someone I would turn to in a time of need (emotional/physical/some sort of need). I find it funny how suddenly Chrissy is being blamed, regardless if she was the one to “point it out” that I was you know, “lurking” around “leaked” threads. Since you know… I am literally the only person on the entire board to view ANY threads. I won’t even mention how this was the exact same crap thrown at a few friends of mine who were deleted, probably with the same bullshit reasons. *claps* Yay for originality! Oh right, not to mention the fact that I am friends with super sassy friend forever (SSFF) Heather, it makes me again… “Teh Evil” (damn I thought I was still MoS!) So yet again to clarify, because I am friends with people the admin of the board didn’t like, because I wasn’t a post whore but made sure to visit the board daily, and because the admin decided I wasn’t right for the community based off that… I was removed with no warning. Good times.

I am sorry that things have come to this, Sarah. For a while I really did consider you a friend. And I know you don’t believe me, but those parenting threads that came up that month or two back had nothing to do with you. I’m assuming that is a lot of what made you remove my account from your site.

Honestly, I am a bit upset that things have come to this. Like I said, I did consider you a friend, even if we didn’t talk much. Just knowing you were around was good for me. I don’t know if you feel the same, or felt the same, but that’s how it is.

Friend… read it in the dictionary… hell no and what is bringing up the past? What the hell does PARENTING have to do with any of this? I never made comments on how she parents her children (as much as I utterly disagree and feel it’s harmful) nor have I wasted time thinking about it in general. Still harping on it I suppose.

So there’s that. I am getting a migraine (like usual), it’s pouring rain, and I have to go buy my son more underwear and probably sign up at the rec plex with my sister this evening. It’s always fun finding out that people aren’t what they seem. I guess the fact I try to be honest in everything I do, doesn’t set too much of an example for other people.

This post is over a year old which means the content may be outdated or no longer accurate.

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Oh geez. That doesn’t make any sense. She should have at least given you a warning that you’d be deleted and stated the real reasons. I am tired of petty internet drama. She shouldn’t have deleted you without at least telling you why (since the reason given was obviously false). That really stinks!

I think that is one of the things that bothered me most, is that there was no warning at all. I never had any issues on the board, and then to find out because I wasn’t posting more than 3 times a week I was considered inactive? Crazy.  -Sarah-

Reply to Beth

There’s been a lot of drama over there lately. I’m trying to steer clear. You will be missed there!

{{hugs}} Thank you hun.  -Sarah-

Reply to Kasie

Could you please remove any mention of me from this entry? I didn’t have anything to do with this and I don’t need people coming to my website causing drama.


From what Jenn emailed me, you did have something to do with my being ubruptly deleted without warning from the board. I would be honestly shocked if any of my regular visitors caused any “drama” at your website.  -Sarah-

Reply to Chrissy

I actually told Jenn that if it were me, I wouldn’t do anything about Sarah even if she was spying. In my opinion, since some members of Lavish stalk blogs and message boards of other people looking for mentions of themselves or of Lavish in general, others should able to spy and lurk on the boards. It’s only fair, right? I think so.

If Sarah was the one lurking and leaking information, then well good for her. She obviously has some extra time on her hands. Why the fuck worry about it? If it’s not her, it’s not here. No reason to raise a big fucking stink about it.

I just don’t like that people are e-mailing me and commenting on my website because of this. Like I said, I told Jenn to just leave it alone (but if she did want to do something about it, to do it honestly). Did I say “Hey, it could be Sarah”? Yeah, I did. But did I tell her to ban Sarah? No. It’s not something I personally would have done.

Well, obviously, I am not a “spy” of course I am not a paranoid person by nature. So basically, because I was reading the thread where you and the other member of lavish were arguing, without getting myself involved, it made me a “leak” of some sort? Interesting. Sadly, I don’t have too much extra time on my hands unless it’s utterly dead during the day. I am very surprised that any of my regular readers would contact you at all. I wasn’t aware anyone had emailed or contacted you in any way except for perhaps Jenn. Maybe you should learn not to assume anything about anyone, because you seem to have very little intutition or even “correct” guesses about people. Hell, even being banned would have made a bit more sense than being randomly deleted because of high strung fear and paranoia.  -Sarah-

Reply to Chrissy

Sheesh, this is really blowing out of proportion. I left Lavish ages ago because I had enough of the drama and the board wasn’t the community it used to be. I never thought it’d go downhill like this.

I see Jenn deleted my link from her site, maybe because I’ve linked Heather and John’s sites (two very interesting blogs) as daily reads? I suppose that makes me evil. I don’t find daily blogs about babies all that interesting.

Oh yes, if you dare be a friend, link to, or even THINK about people that aren’t on her “approved friend list” then you are removed from her life.  -Sarah-

Reply to Sarah

I really like your layout! it’s so simple… I need to try something like that for a change lol.

Thank you   -Sarah-

Reply to Aiden

*shakes head*  I don’t get her.  She should have brought it up with you if she thought there was a chance you could be a leak or whatever.  That’s what adults should do anyway, if they consider someone to be a friend like she says she did you.  *hugs*  You shouldn’t have to put up with petty, screwed up crap hon.

I am not even going to try to understand why people are low class. I get enough migraines lol. I really shouldn’t be surprised but well… goes to show that I shouldn’t believe that everyone has good in them.  -Sarah-

Reply to Miranda

I think the key thing now, minus all of this drama, is the fact that the boards will still continue to be leaked by someone she’ll never find. I’m damn sure she would go as far as banning everyone BUT the ass-kissers just because she feels they’re the only ones she can trust. Honestly though…if one of them turns out to be her leak…I think I’ll just piss myself in amusement.

There are plenty of other forums out there, where all this crap isn’t worked in, spend your time in an environment that isn’t just a constant e-war.

Reply to Krissy

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