I just called his mother I didn’t think he would be there already, to get her to pay my sister back for his bus ticket. His mother gave the phone to him. I said, “I can not talk to you I called to speak to your mother” and he gave his classic sigh. I just started crying, I am still crying. I can not express how badly I am hurting right now. I tried to talk to my sister but she said it doesn’t matter, that he is out of our lives now. He will never be out of MY life. I am raising HIS son. I can never get rid of everything that was his. I just. Gods. I need someone. I can not be alone all day every day while my family works. I can’t be alone with my thoughts. What did I ever do to deserve this?
March 6th 2003