If I Were You

It seems silly to be depressed after buying such large ticket items the past weekend.

I am just feeling so restricted lately in my life, here I have very reliable transportation and I still have no where to go. I am trying to hold off on buying more groceries until Friday (if possible since I did very poorly last week on my shopping), I have no urge to go to the library, it’s SO freaking cold outside that I can’t really prance around the park or forest preserve. It just feels like… well… now I can take my own self to and from work basically. People keep asking me why I don’t appear to be more excited… umm well I had to get a vehicle eventually but still, my life isn’t that much different, just a bit more expensive heh.

Yesterday Daniel and I went to Alpine Camera (they don’t have a website or I would link them) which is a local camera shop. I was in heaven! I didn’t really get a chance to look around because Daniel “felt” wet even though he used the bathroom there, but I did buy a 52mm circular polarizing filter (the most expensive filter you can buy pretty much but I use it heavily on sunny blue sky days) and a pop up flash diffuser. I hope to go back soon to stare at the selection of used lenses.

I think part of the reason why I am so depressed is because I recently found out a LOT of bad stuff about my son’s father, I shouldn’t say I’m surprised because I wasn’t really. It’s actually kind of pathetic. Nonetheless, it’s just added un-needed stress from him and his obsessive tendencies which somehow involve me. Part of me feels bad about trying to file for child support because I know he won’t get a job and will just end up in jail for not paying. The other part of me could care less because he still needs to support his son, since obviously he isn’t willing to do it emotionally, physically, or well in ANY way shape or form, he should at least be responsible for helping financially.

Ok well maybe I could look and see what’s at the library online.

Ugh I am also very hungry right now but all I have is soup so I want to hold off until lunch to eat that which is another 2 – 2 1/2 hours away ugh.