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I called his mother in Ohio. I just knew he went to Ohio. She seemed shocked that I would actually try to find him, since as we all know, he can do what he wants, when he wants, etc. Anyways, she told me, he called her at 5am, left a message actually she said, and he drove up to Columbus to visit his asshole of a friend, who he speaks to maybe 4 times a year, that perhaps this friend might be sent overseas since he is in the Army Reserves. So I am pretty pissed off.

I obviously need to be the one to work, but how do I do that? How do I change my childs life ?

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posted on March 1st 2003 at 8:30AM CST

im so sorry! it must be soooo stressful! I know that in your ears this may sound really bad.. but if you had to work.. daycare isnt that bad.. (my mom owns an in home daycare) and the benifites from daycare are great.. I know for sure it is good for them to have the social interaction so they know how to deal with people you know? and he will probably start talking very well :) although i know you are really digging the stay at home mommy thing so im so sorry.. if matt comes back will you accept??

posted on March 1st 2003 at 9:00AM CST

Sarah, You are in a very difficult position, the very same position hundreds and thousands of women face every single day of their lives. It is NO easy task but it’s necessary.  What it comes down to is what kind of life would Daniel have if you DON’T make changes.

I firmly believe it is possible to work and care for your son, perhaps not exactly as you had hoped too but with a balance.  How do I know this?  I have been doing it for 20 years. 

I do not like to say this or put it as some kind of a pity thing but I did this with two children who are disabled and who need a ton of specialized care. In that I know you can still give you son what he needs and be a working Mom.  Actually, in my case, it has helped my boys become more independent than many of the children they grew up with inflicted with lesser challenges. 

It can work and it will if you work at it.  I said before, it’s far from easy but it will give you strength and Daniel a model to look up too rather than the example his father is setting.  I do presume you would like him to be independent and hold some values which do not include those which Matt, at the current moment, is displaying.  Kids learn these things by example before they even begin kindergarten.  Now how scary is that!

posted on March 1st 2003 at 10:09AM CST

i’m sorry you’re going through all this. i know it’s really important to you to be a stay at home mom. i’ve had to be a working single mom too. and it’s very challenging. but, like barb said you have to consider how it will be if no one is bringing in money. one of the jobs i had for awhile was working at a daycare center where my kids could be for a discounted price. and i always knew who was with them and they were always steps away from me. this really sucks that matt is acting like this. i wish things could be how you guys had planned. it really sucks. i’m here if you need to talk.

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