July 24th 2005 / 2 minutes to read

Right now at 10pm it’s 92 degrees. I’m not going to make much sense.

I cleared out my livejournal friends list a bit, I realised a lot of people I just… don’t communicate with sadly enough.

More and more… the closer it gets to autumn the more introspective I get. I waste so much time on looking at how my life sucks. I am trying to do better. I scoured this apartment (still need to re-do my bedroom since well what do you expect with a three year old prancing around heh) and I’m trying to get my drivers liscense situation taken care of (which will cost me around $3,000 total after all is said and done) and I just… why do I spend so much time thinking negatively? Ok true I don’t live in a perky environment and it’s very hard on me mentally and emotionally. How about online? Why do I persist in keeping any contact with people I disagree with? Why do I involve myself in their drama? No more, in the words of Jay-Z, they aren’t real to me, which means they don’t exist so *poof*.

Tonight for dinner I roasted zucchini, yellow squash, 4 kinds of bell pepper, onion, and whole tomatoes with whole wheat pasta mixed in with fresh basil and fresh mozerella with a salad that had a homemade honey mustard dressing.

I’m pondering for a new domain name, I will still keep OSN though… any suggestions?

I just need all these changes in my life. I need to reconnect spiritually. I need to stop drinking soda altogether (I really need suggestions on how to do this I can’t stand diet pops so making that transition doesn’t help much), I need to eat better and stop boredom eating. I need to be more responsible with my money. I need to connect with myself instead of feeling so lost. I used to know who I was, I didn’t put up with crap, now I am meek, scared, I eat to keep myself from feeling any real emotions.

I need changes.

This post is over a year old which means the content may be outdated or no longer accurate.


Likes I doubled-down on RSS by Eric Bailey.

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Album Art for I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)

George Michael & Aretha Franklin

I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)

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Shawn Desman


” I need to stop drinking soda altogether”

Just do it. You just have to let it go. I won’t lie and say it hasn’t been hard for me in the less than week since I quit but it’s worth it I know it )

Reply to C

I quit the whole drinking regular soda last year about this time, and I absolutely hated diet soda, but I got my hands on a diet wild cherry pepsi and it wasn’t so bad.  Also diet Dr. Pepper is pretty good.  Once I got used to drinking those I can’t drink regular soda anymore, it is too sweet.

Reply to Kim

You can do it! You can make your life better for you, AND your sweet little one. And you will. :) Good luck!

Reply to Barbara

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