Ponderings

I remember when I was younger, high school age, and thinking how my life could have endless possibilities. Now all I see are years slipping away, always scared of how we will survive. How to manage, how to provide. I feel like my life has no security in it. No stablility. I am utterly lonely most of the time, I don’t really have any close (IRL) friends anymore.

I remember just this past summer, going to see Trapt and for that brief time feeling so giddy, felt normal. I didn’t let all the crushing worries bring me down, I didn’t feel the weight of stress bring me down. Sadly that didn’t last longer.

Lately I knit, I knit a whole ton, I am going to be knitting some scarves and bags for friends. I even had some of them choose their own colors.

I feel so angry so much of the time. I am tired of people complaining and screaming. I am tired of people bitching about things like the dishes yet never ever wash them (load the dishwasher). I am tired of people not taking responsibility for their own lives. Not everything in this world is my fault. I am not to blame for every single problem on Earth. So many people are unhappy and instead of realising just maybe, maybe it isn’t the universe out to get them, no… easier to place the blame on anyone nearby.

I noticed more and more how disgusted I am getting with young parents. Probably way too much to write actually. Suffice to say people are completely lazy these days when it comes to parenting and are extremely selfish. I am terrified what America will be like in 20-30 years. This is our future and no one gives a damn.

The weekends just do not last long enough for me anymore.