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Really Fustrated

I am beyond fustrated right now. I called so many places, emailed so many places, and either they aren’t hiring or no response back. I don’t have the transportation to work two hours away. I do not have anyone here to take me to these places that ARE hiring to apply and interview. I feel so utterly alone right now. I look at my sleeping son, and wonder how the hell I managed to get into this situation. I feel like the skills I do have are pointless. Why did I teach myself html, css, all of that jazz? Why did I teach myself about computers? It’s all pointless. The really sad thing is that I just want to help people. I love websites, I love the internet. I see some of the local buisness websites and want to cry. I want to fix them. A few months ago I actually called and emailed some of them. Just asking if they needed someone to help with their sites. I even (when my sister was still here and would drive me places) asked at a local shop about their website and got the cold shoulder. Yet they wonder why they recieve little or no actual business through their sites. How can I say nicely “I’m sorry but your website sucks. Neon purple against neon blue is not what end users want to see”

I am rambling I know.

It’s sad when I can’t even get a job at the local fast food places. Apparently they want the highschool students, not a young mother. Even in the mall. They want to hire people who will purchase their merchandise. Not people who need to support their families.

I really am trying not to sink under all of these thoughts. I am trying to keep the hope that I will get hired somewhere. I am trying not to think that 7 months the lease is up and we will have to move. Most likely out of this state to somewhere more affordable. I am trying not to have a panic attack that I will have no where to go with my son.

I feel like I am not making any sense. I am just so utterly stressed out right now. I feel so pressured. Even with my “peer” domains out there. I can’t compete with them. I have a child. I have different beliefs. I don’t understand people having fights over whose Iframe and “vector” is more original.

Ugh. I need to stop now before I sound totally crazy.

I did however, open the Services Section so if anyone wants to check that out, by all means.

On the plus side, Daniel is getting better about doing small sentences. Today it was “Hey mine!” (he was saying that because I had moved the apples lol)

I need to get centered somehow. I am not normally this tense and pissy. I am normally a quite perky glittery person. Really. Some of y’all might remember the days where I would laugh for hours on end. I was a happy person.

Centering. Oh yes. Must schedule that in.

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posted on August 17th 2004 at 11:20AM CDT

Hang in there Sarah, something’s bound to happen for you soon!  Blessings

posted on August 17th 2004 at 9:39AM CDT

What might be a good idea to do, is to print out flyers or small business cards/brochures and mail them out to local businesses that either don’t have a website, or you feel could use an improvement on a website.  I’ve done this before and received a good response.  Then if they call or e-mail you, go out and do an interview with them and explain to them with a sample website already drawn up, that this is what you want to do to it, and this is how much it costs.

That way you could do something you enjoy doing, and still provide for your son.  If you don’t have a printer, at least design the business cards and the “professional website” (not something pretty or cool looking, it should be professional), and see if a friend will print out some copies and mail them to you.

posted on August 17th 2004 at 12:47PM CDT

Sarah, I came across a reference to you on Madhoo’s blog. You had recently made some logos for her. I am currently looking to do a re-design of my blog. And while I do have the template/layout that I would be using, I would like to discuss the possibility of you doing the artwork. I will get in touch with you by email before the end of this week.

By the way, I just came across a graphics competition. Thought you might be interested. Here is the link…


posted on August 17th 2004 at 9:22PM CDT

Wow, your layout is pretty, the pictures are awesome! Sorry about your not so good luck at finding a job…just remember to never give up, I’m sure you’ve heard that a lot, but even when you feel there is no hope, there is always something good…That is so good that Daniel is talking better, that is something you should be really proud of.

posted on August 18th 2004 at 11:38AM CDT

hey, why dont you create layouts, make a subdomain and sell them.. like $5 for a template, $100 (about

posted on August 18th 2004 at 11:40AM CDT

(oh and if u get rich off my idea, spare me a thought and link me… lol!!)

posted on August 18th 2004 at 6:22PM CDT

I am in a similar boat as you. My hubby is working…but the new job he has pays SO much less. We are living in a house we can’t afford. But yet we can’t afford to move either. The bills are piling up. I am depressed, angry, having panic attacks, etc. I can so sympathize on being frustrated. *sniff*

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