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I fucking HATE feeling like this. So lost, so confused. I can’t trust him, but I think I love him. How’s that for a bitch smack from the universe. I want him… and then I just want it all to go away. I can’t take it right now. I can’t handle JUST phone calls and JUST emails and JUST ims.

I need something REAL. I need to be loved, feel loved, I just need it so bad. I am so fucked up. Right now, I just really want to be held, and I seriously would like to cry. While being held. Yes. That sounds very nice indeed. Anyone up for it?

Like I said earlier, sometimes it’s like that quote, “the only one to stop me from crying is the one making me cry” I must really like all of this drama, all of this heartache, to keep wishing things were different, and that things would change.

Could I swear anymore the past few days?

posted on June 4th 2003 at 4:55AM CDT

Who can blame you,it all IS so very confusing!

posted on June 4th 2003 at 6:12AM CDT

::hugs:: Love you, dear.

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