I don’t know why I feel the way I do. I don’t know why I even cause some of it to myself. Why I continue to think, feel, dream, etc, the way I do.

Yes I have explained how I feel to my family. The general response is “You aren’t the first one to be cheated on / raise a child alone” of course it isn’t as if they were in my situation.

“Bad” Sarah would get drunk, stoned, party, etc.

Sometimes I feel like people get a kick out of how simple it is to get me into sobby mode. I am sick of people acting like I am out for pity or that I am overly dramatic.

I am at my breaking point. Each day gets worse and worse. I am alone all of the time, yes I have my son, but it is hard to hold a conversasion with a 15 month old heh.

I am not making much sense I know… not even to myself. I just want all of this to get better for me, for Daniel. I just do not know how.

Heh if anyone wants to send me real mail, just ask for my address, sometimes real mail makes my day a bit brighter, probably because of the effort involved? Or just cause real mail is neat heh.

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Nikki
posted on April 19th 2003 at 7:25PM CDT

I don’t know you but I have been where you are.  I was a single mother to my son for a couple of years (he is now 6).  It was hard.  I had to get out and get a job I hated in order to support him. But I got to live rent free at my parents house.  Anyway..what I am trying to say is that you have to pick up the pieces, and try to make sense of everything and get on with your life.  You can support you and your son.  I know that getting a job and finding childcare isn’t easy but in the long run it will be the best thing you can do for your child.  I ended up meeting a wonderful guy and we got married when my son was about 3.  He treats my son wonderfully.  You can meet someone else who will love you and your child.  I know this may sound as if I am rambling but I just wanted to let you know that there are others out there who have been through what you are going through.  It will get better.  If you need to talk, by all means email me.  :)

Melissa
posted on April 20th 2003 at 10:33AM CDT

Try conencting your local Social Service Office and ask them if they have a community Meditation/Conciliation panel, if they do try connecting them to setup a meeting with you and your fmaily for you can talk about the problems without being judge and hopefully come to some sort of agreement with your sister and your dad.

Sorry if the desptition of mediation/conciliation is bad, I’ll give you a more detailed explaination of it if you need it?

kristen
posted on April 20th 2003 at 10:58AM CDT

Let me know your address Sarah!  I gots some money, and while I have this money I would love to get ya some goodies to snail mail ya! =)  Snail mail always puts a smile on my face!  I am thinking of you!

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