Social Media Woe

October 29th 2010 / 1 minute to read

Does social media (twitter/facebook/etc) make you feel left out?

I know it does for me sometimes. I know it’s silly, but it drives me nuts when I post a FB status or tweet about something specific and not get a single response!

Do you feel this way?

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Susan

All the time. Especially when it is something that is BEGGING for a response.

Reply to Susan

YES! I can understand people not responding to “I’m tired” type of tweets and such but a specific question or statement… so much of the time I’m looking for feedback!

Mari

same here. it makes no sense.

Reply to Mari
nimil

i feel that way a lot but i figure i don’t get much of a response on twitter because people don’t know me very well, or i just post weird stuff and they dunno what to say in response. on facebook i think i just get lost among the billions of farmville/frontierville/insert game here announcements.

i’ve always felt slightly on the outside looking in with most things in life, so it doesn’t really get me down, still, sometimes i’d love to get some feedback or a response. especially when i @ someone specifically.

Reply to nimil

OHHH that is even worse, when you @ someone with something specific and STILL don’t get a response! It’s SO hard for me to try to not take it personal!

It depends. Most of what I say is total rubbish I only put out there to get it out of my head. If I ask a question or post something I need support on and nobody responds… THAT pees me off. Can’t think of the last time it happened though.

Oh yes, I always think of tweets in two groups, random thoughts and specific questions/statements. It’s when you ASK something and get no response… makes me feel like I’m talking to the void!

Mari

all the time! but it’s been that way my entire life, no matter what i do. i’m always invisible.

Reply to Mari

It’s really hard for me sometimes because I base it off numbers too. Like why do over 1400 people follow me on twitter if they ignore my tweets? I take it SO personally. I could never be a “big time” blogger lol. I take it too hard!

Mari

i’m so right there. why follow me if you’re not going to interact with me? why read my blog (and i get a lot of hits) if you’re not going to comment on the items i post? it’s aggravating. and stuff i think won’t merit one comment get ten and the stuff i think will get comments get zero.

Reply to Mari

Oh yes, I will never understand what prompts someone to comment on one post but not another. It’s hard too because I am such a “lurker”. Hard habit for me to break!

Mari

all i know about the internet is that for every 100 “followers” you might have 5 “posters”. drives me straight up a wall. :eye roll:

Reply to Mari
Ambar

3 out of 4 tweets are ignored according to an article I read a while ago. Don’t feel bad!

Reply to Ambar

OHH that’s an interesting statistic!

Damita

No really, I don’t use twitter that much, facebook my husband always replies and my two best mates, but what annoys me is when people don’t reply to the @ :(

I wouldn’t worry hunny *hugs*

Reply to Damita

OHH yes, if it’s a question on twitter I get upset. If it’s me just making a statement I don’t mind AS much lol.

Cheryl

Sometimes it really does bother me — particularly if I’m posting about something that’s important to me; I’ll think about some of the frivolous stuff that people retweet and wonder why people pay attention to the meaningless stuff but not other things. But I try to remind myself that we’re all busy and most people have dozens of social media contacts posting messages every day, so I shouldn’t take it personally if I don’t get a response.

Reply to Cheryl

It’s SO hard for me to not take it all so personally! I could never be a “big time blogger” because they tend to get the nasty people commenting/tweeting/etc, not the kind of attention I can handle lol.

Rachael

On Twitter, I don’t really like being privy to conversations btw people who can’t “hear” me b/c they’re not following me. As for Facebook, I don’t spend a lot of time there. And as for my blog, I think of it as a place for “thrashing.” I’m trying to figure out what kind of writer I am and want to be, and hearing (or not hearing) responses has been useful. But not without pain. Though I certainly agree with Cheryl … a lot of it isn’t personal, folks are busy, and etc.

Reply to Rachael

True, plus even online I can be an introvert and like another commenter said below… it’s hard for me to complain if I don’t make an effort to interact more too!

TheFeministBreeder

Well, I’ve been avoiding talking to you because I didn’t want to spill the beans that I mailed you a package, which should be arriving any minute now, because I wanted you to be surprised.

Wait… DAMMIT!!!!!

Reply to TheFeministBreeder

Thank you so much again!! It totally made my weekend!

Monalipschitz

Yes, it does that to me too. But then I’m probably just really boring :) I’m getting a bit better at not taking it personally though. But only a bit.

Reply to Monalipschitz

Oh it’s so hard to not take it personally for me! I rely SO much on social interaction, especially online lately when I’m “trapped” at home with the kids and no car lol.

Sometimes, yes. Facebook doesn’t bother me quite as much because I really don’t post much on it. But it does bother me when I do post something like family photos and no one says much, but then friends post stuff to their photography albums (ahem) and get a bunch of comments. Or post the question type stuff on twitter (or a freak out, as I have had lately) and no one says anything. Then again, I really don’t follow that many people so maybe the responses I do get are proportional.

I dunno. A lot of times I don’t answer people because I feel like I don’t know them well enough and don’t want to randomly jump in their conversations. This is true online and off. I’m definitely not an extrovert or mostly Type A.

(I was going to reply to your tweet at 4AM this morning but thought that might not be a good idea! Sleep deprivation = bad.)

More and more I realize I need to limit how many people I follow on twitter, so many times I MISS tweets, even with lists, and those tweets I do get… I wonder why I follow them at all because I NEVER speak to them ever! Just need to find the time and guts to do it lol.

Lauren @ Hobo Mama

What? Did you say something? Ha ha, just kidding. Yes, I absolutely do. Or when you get just *one* response, and it’s a person who doesn’t understand what you’re saying (like, takes something seriously when it was a joke). And you want to retweet it and say, “No, really, any other takers?”

Reply to Lauren @ Hobo Mama

OHH yes. Sometimes I want to retweet my own tweets like 10 times a day because I feel it gets lost amongst the masses.

Two sides to this for me.

1. I hate posting stuff and no one replies…do they not read it or do they not care? I know I post stuff that not a lot of my Facebook friends agree with but even when I posted I had surgery, hardly anyone responded. Which made me want to delete a bunch of folks for sure!!! On Twitter, I have a work account which has a really great following but that’s a whole different animal there. My personal Twitter account is still new and I know y’all are just getting to know me so I guess I will have to be patient.

2. I’m terrible at commenting – I “want” to comment to so many posts and Tweets but I feel like who the hell am I? No one wants my opinion or they’ll think I’m weirder than most already think I am or whatever.

I need to be better – I can’t expect people to listen to me if I’m not listening to others.

I totally am about #2. I feel like “what do I have to add?”

Michelle

I so know how you feel. Social media is weird – I mean why should I feel inadequate if people I don’t even know ignore me of twitter (I ditched FB recently)? It’s strange because I still seem to care a little bit even though I can only think of maybe two people that I follow that I actually know in the flesh…

Peace,
Michelle ;)

Reply to Michelle

For me it just confuses me, why so many people friend/follow me to… not even talk to me!

Darren

Yes, I think it is natural though. We ‘tweet’ or update in order to tell the world something, so when no one in the world gives any response we naturally feel ‘woe is me’ :)

Well I know I do… anyone listening… hellooo…

;) see what I mean

Reply to Darren

Yes exactly!

Amy

I’m not really that fussed. People can respond if they have something to say, I don’t expect it.

My problem is that I’m typically a few days behind. I feel awkward posting a comment five days after so I don’t post anything.

Of course, I’ve been writing online for 12 years now and when I started comments weren’t an option, we had guestbooks and e-mail.

I also don’t know how to respond to people who comment on my site. I’m sure I’ll figure it out one day.

All of this is probably just because I have social issues. :p

Reply to Amy

LOL I miss guestbooks, it totally eliminated the random “cool site!” comments on actual posts.

Yes. Absolutely. It is the reason I can’t be bothered to maintain my blog! I know that the more I blog the more readers I could attract, but social media promotes the need for instant gratification, which I think is an addiction. I don’t get instant gratification therefore I abandon what can’t bring it to me, meanwhile I’ve lost the pleasure of writing and personal expression, which was the original purpose of the blog. I see people change completely so that they can write things that they think will attract comments and they forget that they had a place to really express their true feelings. I’ve done it.

YES YES AND YES. For me, I just feel like (and I know it’s not true) that it’s personal. That because I’m not buddy buddy enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, all the ENOUGH, is why people won’t respond.

Kimberly

I used to feel that way and then I got blasted a few times by people who were having a bad day and chose to misunderstand a post.

Now I don’t care. Every now and then I go through my “friends” list and clean it up. I’m following so many people that I’m not sure how many are still even using Facebook.

Now, I’m toying with the idea of blowing up my profile and fan page and starting over again. That’ll be interesting.

I love your blog.
Kimberly

Reply to Kimberly

Thanks! Sometimes I want to get rid of all social media because in some ways, it really can make me question myself or have poor self-esteem but I do realize I am just super sensitive and thin skinned in that respect heh.

Melissa

I hear ya! It’s hard not to take it personally but it seems that it usually happens when I ask something more serious! The silly questions seem to get more response– guess it’s easier. I do find the more I answer questions from others or comment on their tweet, the more people answer me in return. But that’s not always the case either!

Reply to Melissa

I totally take it personally LOL! It makes me wonder why people follow me at all if it’s not to interact.

I think a lot of the neglect comes from the fact that some people follow SO MANY people on twitter that you get lost in their timeline. Also, it depends on what app they are using for Twitter. I use echofon and there are times when my replies or direct messages don’t show up until a day later!
I think Twitter especially is a hard place to socialize because you literally know nothing about these people. Hell, some of the people I follow don’t even post their real name. I feel weird, building an online friendship with these people and twitter is the ONLY communication we have.
Don’t take it personally. There are always a million reasons why a person may not respond. At least, that’s what I tell myself when my tweeps ignore me. LOL

I wonder how those who follow THOUSANDS can even be a “good” tweeter!

I also wonder why people bother to follow me if it’s not to interact. I try to ask a lot of questions (but not too much) and engage but it’s hard these days especially when I’m nocturnal LOL! I also feel a bit out of place sometimes because a LOT of birthy people follow me but it’s a super touchy subject for me so I avoid it as much as possible which limits interactions for sure.

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