Vent: Birthing Scare Tactics (long)

September 25th 2009 / 7 minutes to read

Some of you know from following me on twitter that I was in the emergency room at Northwest Community Hospital (in Arlington Heights, IL) for a severe migraine (I’ve been suffering from them for years, they are not pregnancy related).

I had gone originally in the evening on Wednesday night, they tested me for Group B Strep (common to be tested around 36wks, if you test positive, you get antibiotics during labor) of which I am negative for, gave me some pain meds, had the on-call OB take a peek at me. He palpated my belly, made a comment that the baby was average, maybe even on the smaller side size wise. He also said that I was a great candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

Sadly, the migraine rebounded and I had to go back yesterday (Thursday). We were there for approx 8+hrs. The arrival itself went smoothly, although, like usual, they discounted my very large history of migraines and assumed it HAD to be pregnancy related, naturally, it wasn’t.

The first doctor that came to the room performed a cervical check on me, during the migraine itself where I could not think, focus, etc, (as anyone who has had a migraine can atest to, your brain doesn’t WORK during a migraine) and it was extremely painful. So much so that I am very sore today. He also tried to force my legs open even though I told him I physically couldn’t open them past a certain point, due to my separated pelvis.

I was then declared to be 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. He then started to berate me for choosing to have a VBAC, how HE would NEVER choose that, I wondered how he thought he would ever be faced with that option considering he was male, no uterus, no vagina, etc.

So they finally give me pain medication, once it kicked in they proceeded to do a full ultrasound to check fluid levels and such. The ultrasound tech commented that I was very articulate and “good with your words”. She told me the baby looked great, heads down, and approx 8 1/2 – 9 lbs, measuring EXACTLY on time for my due date (which is today by the way).

I was then put back into the hospital room, where my 7yr old son had fallen asleep, my boyfriend was dozing (he had only slept maybe 3 hrs the night before) and I was pain free so I was focused on getting the heck out of that hospital! The nurse came in, told us that a different doctor NEEDED to speak to us before we would be permitted to leave, we simply assumed he wanted to review the radiology report from the ultrasound.

TWO HOURS LATER, he comes in the room, throws himself in a chair, and proceeds to attack me for not having a repeat c-section.

Fear Tactic He told me it was Illinois State LAW that unless I had “proof” of the uterine incision I had, that I had no “choice” but to have a c-section. I asked him to provide me with written documentation of this law. Twice. He then recanted and said, “well maybe it’s not a law, but I’ll tell you NO hospital will ALLOW you to VBAC without it”. Right ok, so first fear tactic and lie. Interesting.

Fear Tactic He then tried to tell me that my unborn son has macrosomia. Interesting since by all proven documentation the baby would have to be about 10+ lbs for that to be the case, the ultrasound tech GUESSTIMATED 8 1/2 – 9lbs, and ultrasound is the LEAST reliable method to determine baby’s weight, could be off as much as TWO POUNDS. I am not measuring ahead, baby is not measuring ahead.

My oldest son was born at exactly 39wks and was 8lbs 3oz. My twin sister was 6days overdue and her daughter was 8lbs, 13oz. Just to show the general “size” of our babies.

Fear Tactic He then attempted to use my separated pelvis against me, trying to tell me a “large” baby would damage it further. In all actuality, the fact that my pelvis is the way it is, actually gives my body the ability to birth a larger than “normal” baby.

All in all, he spent about an hour trying to scare me, shame me, etc. It didn’t work. All it did was make me utterly furious. He finally left the room and had a social worker come up (due to our health insurance issue), and I told her how he was with me, how upset I was, and she actually recommended we go to a different hospital (that is literally a 3minute drive from our house, as opposed to Northwest which is about 30 min away), that it was his practice who was on-call and they would try to force a c-section on me.

I am so angry still. I had nightmares of being at a social event and watching women be tied down and have forced c-sections performed on them all night. It was horrific.

As it is, I plan on waiting as long as possible before going to ANY hospital, I would prefer to go when in transition or better yet, when I have the urge to push.

There is no way I can be coerced into a RCS (repeat c-section), I am too angry and stubborn heh. I also have a great advocate in my boyfriend. However, not only do I have to fight for the birth ITSELF, but the moment my second son is born, I have to fight to prevent them from forcing formula down his throat, coating his eyes in Erythromycin ointment (the eye drops they use on newborns, is supposed to be used when the mother has gonorrhea or chlamydia for example), giving him the Hep B vaccination which is no longer even recommended for newborns (I don’t think my new infant will be shooting up heroin with dirty needles or having unprotected sexual intercourse the moment he is out of my womb), the Vitamin K shot (to prevent bleeding in the brain, usually it stems from an issue with the liver), and lastly, making sure they do not circumcise him.

I highly need feedback on this entry and encouragement. I would appreciate if you could retweet this as well. I need all the help, advice, encouragement, etc.

Today is my due date with my second son and instead of being mellow and enjoying the feel of him kicking my ribs, I have to worry about the medical profession doing harm to us, or punishing us, simply because I am an overweight mother who had a previous c-section due to my oldest son being a footling breech.

ETA on 09/30/2009 The 2nd hospital, Lutheran General in Park Ridge, IL, is even WORSE. I explained more in the comments, but this statement from the SECOND OB (they tried to have EVERYONE who was there try and force me to have a RCS), told me that even if I showed up with the baby CROWNING they would “force” me to have a RCS.

I am in VERY early labor and have been since Monday morning. Insane amounts of bloody show, hopefully things kick in soon. Right now it looks like I am going to have an October baby, funny enough my own Birthday is Oct 17th.

This post is over a year old which means the content may be outdated or no longer accurate.


Likes Instant Messaging by fLaMEd.

View All Notes



First of all, I would take the social worker’s advice of going to a different hospital. At least there would be a chance of getting a more understanding and supportive doctor there.

I cannot believe someone would berate you for an hour on something that is YOUR decision! I’m glad you are very knowledgeable regarding everything, and were able to defend yourself rather than giving into him. Kudos to you, and I support your decision to have a VBAC!! *HUGE HUGS*
.-= {Kecia´s shared blog entry ..Sleep Patterns} =-.

Keith is going to contact Lutheran General this afternoon (it’s literally a 3 min drive from our house) and see how “VBAC Friendly” they are.

I seriously, couldn’t believe it, you HEAR and READ about it happening to people, but never quite thought this “doctor” had the gall to talk to me, a full grown, almost 28yr old mother, like I was some sort of idiot. I am still so utterly violated and PISSED off.

What right does ANYONE have to tell me or “give permission” to how I give birth?! My body, my uterus, my VAGINA is no one’s business but mine!


That is utterly ridiculous… I know they were resisting a VBAC but I didn’t think they’d ever feed you LIES. Good Lord, this world is a nightmare. *hugs*
.-= {Sara´s shared blog entry ..Quick One} =-.

Reply to Sara

Wow. I never imagined doctors could/would be like that. If you are an excellent VBAC candidate, and baby is fine, then I probably would take the social workers advice and use the other hospital. She’s probably right, and the other doctors in his practice will try to force you into a c-section.

When my Mom had my sister (who was an eleven pound baby and broke the weight record at Ft. Carson at the time) her blood pressure dropped and she hemoragged (sp?). At that time she was told to NEVER have another child. A few years later she had my youngest sister (almost thirteen pounds) and she had to have a csection because they were afraid of history repeating itself.

I’m not surprised you’ll have to remind the staff to not give him the ointment, hep and vitamin k, and circ. It’s just the “norm” though it seems like opting out of those things is growing in popularity. I am however surprised they would automatically give him formula. When my friend had her son they gave him formula and a pacifier in the hospital even though she expressed her wishes. I don’t understand why your entire pregnancy everyone says “breast is best” and then you have the baby and you are given a ton of formula.
.-= {Ashley´s shared blog entry ..Zero Progress} =-.

Reply to Ashley

Wow, I cannot believe they made you stay there to get reprimanded like that. I second the idea of going to the other hospital. I’ve heard so many issues of people getting forced into repeat c-sections when they are unnecessary and doctors think they are godly and all powerful to lie and cheat to convince a woman that it is her only option.

All I can say here is that I hope when you go into labor that whoever you have attending to your care respects your wishes and doesn’t pull the shit that this guy did. I think he would’ve made me cry by making me feel 2ft tall. Ultrasounds can be so far off like you said and doctors again, try to scare mothers into thinking that their baby is too big to give birth to when the body will not make a baby that it cannot physically push out.

I wish you all the best with your birth. It should be a joyous event the way that you want, not some dickhead doctor looking to cash in on it.
.-= {Amanda´s shared blog entry ..The verdict is} =-.

Reply to Amanda

@Sara, lies and fear tactics! Making up STATE LAWS for crying out loud! Insane isn’t it!!

@Ashley, we are going to contact the other hospital today, as it stands I was already planning to show up, ready to push. All I really need them to do is CATCH the baby heh.

When I had my oldest, they tried to SNEAK him formula, when my twin sister had her daughter last year, they kept trying to convince her to “just” give the baby formula it would be “fine”. It’s so utterly disgusting to me.

@Amanda, I am so utterly furious. A mere mortals OPINION on VBAC based on their own personal view/convenience, isn’t going to make me have major abdominal surgery! Thankfully I have Keith who is a good advocate for me, and if need be would “assist” in getting another doctor for my care at any of the local hospitals. For crying out loud, I doubt I am going to give birth to a baby the size of a toddler heh.


Being a fellow lady in Illinois (I’m more centrally located) hoping for a VBAC, I can assure you that there is no such law. Hospitals in my area do VBACs and my doctor actually specifies in such practices.

Good luck with the other hospital and ensuring that they follow your birth plan. Maybe you ought to have nurses and doctors on staff initial at the bottom to say that they understand your wishes and will fill them out as best as possible?

Best wishes to your family and for a smooth birth for you.

Reply to Erin

Oh I know! It’s AMAZING, I could only think of women who didn’t do the research, who blindly follow “doctors”, how anyone else would have consented to a RCS right then and there.

Oh that initial the bottom is a great suggestion!


Ugh. I’ve had my fair share of fun with OBs. With Ryan they discounted my anxiety that he was turned sideways. I had to beg and plead and bitch and demand an ultrasound to finally get one and prove what I knew all along.
Then they didn’t really want to try they external version — they just wanted to jump right to a c-section.
When the external version failed (Ryan was wedged in there tight!), the OB pulled off her gloves and was like, “How about that c-section?”. I told her off, not so nicely heh, and went home and proceeded to spend the next two weeks trying to get Ryan to turn myself. It didn’t work, of course, but damn if I didn’t try everything I could think of!

Anyway, my recommendation is to keep your boyfriend with you at ALL times. And as soon as the your baby is born, make sure your boyfriend tracks his every move. I sent Dan away from me in the operating room in order to follow Ryan to the nursery to make sure they didn’t give him formula or try to circ him. And I made sure Dan or my mom was with me in my room so that when I fell asleep and the nurses would take Ryan away from me, they could follow him to the nursery and keep tabs on him there.

It’s sad that you have to be so vigilant at a hospital and around medical professionals that are supposed to be trust worthy. :(

Reply to Jenn

I completely feel you. When Danny, I had to BEG for an U/S to show he was footling breech. I was 37 wks or so at the time. NO one including the OB at the time, the emergency room staff, the L&D staff, etc took me seriously.

I am also going to have my twin sister there and she was very good at keeping formula away from my oldest during the hospital stay, so I figure with the “team” of her and him, the baby should be well protected heh.

It really is sad that we have to FEAR the medical profession.


It’s a shame you had to go through all that. I think a lot of the pressure to section stems from the OBs desire to cover their ass — fear of malpractice suits if someone goes in for a VBAC and something crazy happens. In that way, I really do feel for them.

However, their desire to cover their ass does not mean they should resort to lies and, well, abuse of authority to coerce a c-section. It should be enough to point out the *actual* positives and negatives on a *case by case* basis… and let the mother decide from there. If the mother has to sign a waiver, that’s fine.
.-= {Ally´s shared blog entry ..Panic Switch} =-.

Reply to Ally

I agree. Most practices actually DO make you sign a waiver, which I’ve done multiple times. To resort to lies, threats, etc… its insane. Especially when the risks of major abdominal surgery are MUCH more harsh than a VBAC.


I am so sorry you had to go through that. What a jerk of a doctor. I’d be fuming so much if I was treated like that by a supposed medical professional. You are an intelligent woman who can make up your own mind. How awful he treated you like an idiot. I hope you’ll have better luck and treatment at the other hospital.

Reply to Sarah

That doctor was WAY out of line. The social worker wasn’t any better suggesting you deliver at another hospital. You should be able to deliver wherever you feel most comfortable.

I think you should do what Jenn suggested and make sure you keep someone with you at all times. Just in case they try to do something you don’t want them to do. I remember after having Ethan I was so out of it afterward that I don’t remember what exactly went on. It just all happens so fast. Keeping Keith by your side might be the best way to go. He will see to it that they don’t go against your wishes.

It’s a shame that you have to resort to such things. You should be able to do things the way you see fit so long as you and the baby are in good health (and you are). So what’s the big deal? Why are they trying to pressure you into doing something you clearly don’t want to do? See what you can do about reporting them. They can’t just go around scaring pregnant women into doing things the way THEY see fit. It’s not their body. It’s not their choice. They should respect that.
.-= {Lisa Marie´s shared blog entry ..It’s not so bad} =-.

Wow, I can’t believe what those doctors put you through. I would definitely look into the other hospital. I had my daughter 6 weeks early in July and my experience was FAR from that. Maybe I just found a good OB, but after my emergency C-Section she made sure to let me know she did it so that it would be perfectly okay to have a VBAC.

Everyone knew before hand that I would be breastfeeding and a lactation consultant was working with me right away.

I agree with Manda, it is INSANE that these people would turn such a joyous event in your life into something stressful and angering. I wish you, your husband, and your little one the best!!
.-= {Kelley´s shared blog entry ..Delicate as a flower} =-.


Hoo boy. Part of me wants to say that I can’t believe a doctor would treat you that way — but having been talked down to by an ER doctor myself, I know full well that there are doctors out there with serious attitude, who think they know it all and the patients are morons who need to be told what to do. I can’t stand medical professionals who try to make my decisions for me or withhold information from me. It’s just so wrong. The doctor is supposed to be your advocate, not God Almighty (if you’ll pardon the expression). Ultimately, every decision is YOURS, and they shouldn’t take that right away from you or try to bully you into doing what they want. I would report that doctor to whatever state licensing authority you have there for physicians. For him to lie to you is ETHICALLY WRONG — particularly since it can be argued that there’s a monetary benefit to the hospital (or possibly even to him personally) if you had the C-Section, which is a more costly procedure. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s bad enough to have to go to the hospital because you feel like 9 kinds of crap, but to then be berated like an ignorant child… it’s just so, so wrong. I really feel for you and hope that your birthing experience is a good one. Hang in there! Big hugs & best wishes…
.-= {Cheryl´s shared blog entry ..Random Updates from Miss Cranky Pants} =-.

Reply to Cheryl

When I read that I was just like… what the hell????!!!

i live in france. they suspected a macrosomia for my son, his weight was estimated at 9lbs, and my pelvis has an uncommon angle that made complications possible.

YET, they tried everything they could to allow me to deliver vaginally. in the end, I had a c-section, but it was because my son’s heartbeat was dropping, and they were afraid he would suffer.

here, in every hospital, mothers are allowed to choose whether they want their child to receive drops, etc. hep b vaccination is not compulsory, and certainly not done at birth. it is only compulsory for kids who later go to daycare.

circumcision is almost never done, unless parents request it, but it is quite rare.

as for formula, it is NEVER EVER given to a newborn if the mother has tried to breastfeed. They try their best to encourage mothers to breastfeed.

i just wanted to tell you that to reassure you that what you are asking for is considered here as being totally normal and the simplest requests an expectant mom could have.

i am absolutely shocked to read what you have to go through.

Reply to Nella

Write up a complaint about the doctor, That was way out of line for them to do that. People wanting power are just mega ughs!

My fingers are crossed for ya
.-= {Kimm´s shared blog entry ..Owner of a new paddle} =-.

Reply to Kimm

She was 8lbs 14oz woman! My almost 9lb heifer Bun!And I was exactly 7 days overdue when I had her.

Reply to Ali

Gah. I feel like doctors for the most part are incapable of actually hearing what you have to say before responding. It isn’t just doctors- not by far, but you would just think that people in this profession would be better at interacting with people. But maybe they’re sick, and that’s why they become doctors.

My babe has been footling breech for the entire pregnancy- finally turned in the last two weeks. My doctor also wouldn’t listen to me and kept saying she didn’t care. I care! I needed to find someone who is confident in breech deliveries if the baby’s still standing up in there.

Now I’m supposed to be induced on October 5. I don’t want an induction and have tried to explain this to my doctor but she scheduled it anyway. The only reason I am now probably going to go through with the induction is because my placenta seems to be a bit more ‘mature’ than it should be with calcification. This is a result of my high bp, so I can accept induction since there’s actually now an affect. I wasn’t so good when they were just saying, ‘We want to get the baby out ASAP to make sure nothing goes wrong.’ Like having the baby on the outside is the safest thing in the world?! Jeez.

I can’t believe you sat through an hour of that. I do listen to what my dr tells me, because i’m waiting for info that makes me feel convinced, but my goodness it’s tempting to walk out on her sometimes : P. If you want to deliver at that hospital does your OB not have priviledges there? Will he/she not be coming to deliver? I’m expecting mine to come deliver the baby, otherwise I expect to be mostly with nurses until she is there. That is being scheduled, though.

Have you tried talking to the hospital to see who else works with this dr? Just because his office is on call doesn’t mean he is the dr you’ll have to deal with. You may want to try finding out the overall views of drs that share the practice.

Reply to P.A.

It is extremely disheartening that a doctor is trying to talk you out of something that’s not only very important to you, but BETTER for you and the baby in the long run. This is the main reason why I want to go with a midwife when I have kids. (Though finding a certified midwife in Indiana is hard, I live an hour away from the closest birthing center.)

Just stick to your guns, girl. Keep your boyfriend with you all the time, and have him watch over everything.
.-= {Caitlin´s shared blog entry ..If “…” were an appropriate blog title, all of mine would be.} =-.

Reply to Caitlin

I stumbled across your blog today, and I first want to say KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND for sticking to your guns! It sounds like he will be a great advocate for you at whatever site you choose to birth your baby. (And for what it’s worth, as a VBAC mom and doula myself, I think that it is a great idea to labor at home as long as possible.)

In addition to considering the other hospital mentioned by the social worker, you might also consider calling your local ICAN chapter or a local doula to get a recommendation for a more VBAC-friendly hospital.

I don’t know if you are already familiar with these sites, but both ICAN and the Childbirth Connection have some fantastic resources on the legal rights of pregnant and birthing women. They are:

Legal Rights of the Pregnant Woman

Enforcing and Promoting the Rights of Women Seeking VBAC )

The Rights of Childbearing Women )

Best of luck to you and your family!

Reply to BirthingBeautifulIdeas

@Sarah, I am not exactly surprised, he was an older white male, wore an extremely expensive watch and necklace, etc. It would bring him/the hospital more funds if they could force a c-section on me.

@Lisa Marie, I am so uncomfortable in general to even go NEAR anyone of the medical profession due to the way I’ve been treated through out this pregnancy. What gets me is how mere hours before another on-call OB was telling me how I was a great candidate for a VBAC, suddenly the fact I am having a VBAC pisses the other doctors off? How does that make any sense.

@Kelley, it really is insane, where do you live? I seem to notice that the Midwest area is VERY c-section/intervention/mainstream happy.

@Cheryl, exactly, going to school to be a nurse or doctor doesn’t make you any more special. Half of them probably couldn’t fix a computer, yet I can, doesn’t make me any more special now does it? What makes me even MORE testy, is I swear he was actually basing it off the fact that I am overweight. He was SHOCKED that I’ve had nothing but awesome blood pressure and blood sugars through out the pregnancy, because the moment I arrived it was ASSUMED that I MUST have BP and blood sugar issues… and when all the tests showed I was doing great in those areas, suddenly the focus was on the VBAC itself.

@Nella, it really is an American/United States issue to press for c-sections/interventions/formula. For him to straight out LIE and tell me my unborn son has macrosomia when the baby doesn’t meet ANY of the criteria, plus ultrasounds can be off by TWO POUNDS, isn’t measuring ahead, etc, really pissed me off as well. When it comes to the formula pushing, a lot of us joke that it’s the night nurses, generally nurses in the day are BF happy but the night nurses try to push formula hard core. It’s crazy. I had a really hard time when I was pregnant with my first son with disrespect from the OB offices and the hospital, I always assumed it was due to my age at the time (19yrs/20yrs old when I gave birth), but now going through this at almost 28yrs of age… it just shows that it’s really the medical attitude overall.

@Ali, I couldn’t remember when the “cut off” was to go to the next pound, I just remember what a hefty bun she was!

@P.A, AHH so lucky your baby turned!! I completely feel you on being ignored, Danny was a footling breech the entire pregnancy, hence the c-section, and I brought it up to the OB, his staff, the hospital staff, ER staff, NUMEROUS times and was told “no, it FEELS like he’s heads down”. Um. Apparently not. When it comes to your being induced, I HIGHLY suggest trying every single “natural” inducement option there is. Hopefully you can show up that day already well into labor, if not a day or so beforehand lol. I think the only reason I stayed is because we were waiting for the financial adviser so really didn’t have much of an option to just leave, otherwise I would have left the moment he started in with his lies and fear tactics! The issue is we have NO medical insurance. I was on medical leave from my previous work place, let go without ANY notification in July, was fired from the midwifery practice because their head OB didn’t like me declining a test, and we keep getting declined for state aid. We just got ANOTHER letter this past Wednesday stating we were, again, declined for health benefits. It’s ridiculous.

@Caitlin, it is disheartening but not surprising. I actually was with a midwifery practice that fired me for declining the glucose test. So unless it was more of a “private” or solo midwifery practice, I wouldn’t suggest going with a larger one with an OB that has the “final say” on everything.

@BirthingBeautifulIdeas, it’s amazing, my oldest son’s biological father was the WORST advocate, proceeded to have our son circumcised even though I hadn’t decided at that point to do it (my current BF and I are NOT circ’ing our newest baby), wouldn’t speak to the medical staff on my behalf, etc. My current BF has so far proven himself when it comes to being on the same wavelength with me and being an advocate when it comes to the medical profession. I am DEFINITELY going to check out those links today, thank you so much!


This is absolutely terrible. I am so horrified on your behalf. We both know the doctor was full of RUBBISH and stuck in his ways. You are so strong and confident; I know you will get the VBAC you desire.

I’d write a complaint to anyone in authority who can listen regarding this doctor.

I’m going to post and retweet this for you; I want to come back when I get some more time to read through the comments. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that idiot.
.-= {Lynda´s shared blog entry… Sweet Child of Mine} =-.

Reply to Lynda

I just wanted to come by and give you some support. It makes me so angry that you have to defend your decision, especially during birth. That is not the time you need to be fighting any outside demons. I wish you the best in your birth. I hope it is peaceful, healing and everything you want.

@Lynda, I actually started crying today, like it’s not enough to have hyperemesis through this whole pregnancy (and yes I am STILL throwing up ugh), have the separated pelvis, be fired without notice or reason during my medical leave, be on bed-rest due to bleeding at 12wks, etc, I have to FIGHT to give birth vaginally?! For no good reason except the doctor wants more money to fund his rolex lifestyle?! I can understand that he may have his own opinion, but when he turned to lies, fear tactics, and making up LAWS, I could only think of all the women that weren’t educated enough and believed him and submitted to a RCS for NO reason but to appease him.

@Noel, thank you SO much. It’s hard enough (for the mentions above in my response to Lynda) to even have a VBAC, this is the longest I’ve been pregnant, I don’t know what labor will be like, what birthing will be like, and I HATE drugs and such, I am worried about my coping skills (although I’ve read migraine suffers tend to handle labor decently well)… it’s just insane to me that someone who has that kind of “authority” would try to threaten me, lie to me, etc to consent to major abdominal surgery for NO REASON.


All I have to say is, you should be able to make your own choices about your delivery, especially if you are 100% aware of what your rights are and what is happening to YOUR body. With that said, I support your decision, because it is yours. As for me, It has really made me aware of what I need to contemplated about my own pregnancy and labor. I like to hope that not all OBs are like this, that there are some decent human beings out there. And it would make more sense if a doctor explained their concerns for you in a way that doesn’t sound like they are just telling them that they know better and you don’t. If you have done your research (and for me, research isn’t web research, I am a biologist and anything medical related I look for peer reviewed articles), then your word is your own and your wishes are your own to make sure are followed. Good luck and I hope that they do not try to pull sneaky ish on you!

.. and I wonder, if this is something that is common in the mid-west states and east coast, because my mom did not have to deal with this and well as a lot of my friends who gave birth on the west coast.
.-= {Thasanee´s shared blog entry… Monday! Monday! Monday!} =-.

Reply to Thasanee

@Thasanee A lot of this mindset that women don’t know how their own bodies work is fairly recent. (In the past 100 years or so.) And now, in this new millenium, a lot of women either don’t want to think, or don’t want to go against their doctor for fear of being ridiculed or whatever. It’s common for women to be scared into have a cesarean when they are very close to giving birth because a doctor tells them that the baby is in danger. At that point, you’re not willing to risk anything because you just want the happy outcome of a cuddly newborn in your arms.

It’s also very common for women to be told they can’t handle labor on their own, so they’re given an IV and an epidural, and it’s very hard to stop a nurse giving you pitocin or other labor-inducing drugs once you already have an IV in.

As for making your own decisions, I agree. You SHOULD be able to. But many doctors are like the ones Sarah unfortunately had to deal with. They’re set in their ways, or they want the increase in pay that comes with a cesarean (Surgery and anesthesia cost a lot of money, which the doctor gets a cut of.), or they want to be home in time for dinner. (Doctors hours are 8-4, don’t let anyone tell you different. They don’t want to be there after or before.) It’s terrible, but it’s true.
.-= {Caitlin´s shared blog entry… If “…” were an appropriate blog title, all of mine would be.} =-.

Reply to Caitlin

Oh my gosh I can’t believe you went through all of that! I’m so sorry hun. Good for you for not giving in even under all that pressure that they put you through. You’re awesome. I’m definitely retweeting this for you.
.-= {Caity´s shared blog entry… More fun search terms!} =-.

Reply to Caity

Just came across your blog via Twitter.

The doc’s scare tactics are just sad. Stick to your guns. You can do it.

I just had my VBAC (at home) 5 months ago. My previous OB said I was “too small” to deliver vaginally. She said I would fail if I tried a VBAC.

Well, I had my 9 lb baby girl at HOME, VAGINALLY. Bigger than her big brother who was “too big” for me. LMAO

I will now be on the look out for your birth story. :)

Reply to michele

I was going to post the specifics on the law but BirthingBeautifulIdeas beat me to it. I saw your tweets and just wanted to let you know that your local ICAN chapters being the DuPage chapter) are here for you if you need any help/support. The law is 100% on your side, and that doctor is an idiot for trying to tell you otherwise. This is a quick FAQ of your exact legal rights as specified by law:

I had my VBAC in a NON-friendly situation too, but with enough grit you can do it! I wouldn’t let anybody stop me and you don’t have to either!

.-= {TheFeministBreeder´s shared blog entry… The Feminist Breeder Goes to Philly} =-.

Reply to TheFeministBreeder

@Thasanee, sadly, most OB’s ARE like that. They will tell you what you want to hear until ohh… about 36wks, suddenly everything is on THEIR terms. Caitlin pretty much took all the words out of my mouth lol.

@Caity, honestly, it got worse. This past Monday morning I woke up to a fair amount of blood, being that I never experienced labor with my oldest, I wasn’t sure if it was normal. We figured this would also be a good opportunity to see what the other hospital, Lutheran General, was like.

To say that Northwest is a BETTER option at this point, should show you how bad LG was. The MOMENT we arrived, they took a very long time, in an empty ER, to get me to Labor and Delivery. Once up there, they had me stay at the nurses station, HORRIFIED I wanted a VBAC, for about 10 minutes before putting me in a room. Once in the room I was accosted by 2 nurses trying to convince me to VBAC was a death sentence, they called up a resident and TWO on-call OB’s to convince me to not VBAC. The 2nd OB told me I was being selfish, my baby would surely die, that my baby was MASSIVE even though palpating my belly shows he’s average size, etc. One of the nurses got very upset with me, “are you a medical professional? no? then you don’t know what you’re talking about!”. The resident told me uterine rupture was generally a 2% chance, I told her that all the recent studies show 0.7%. So on and so forth (don’t want to bore you heh).

LONG story short, I declined blood work, signed out AMA, they lied about receiving my c-section report from Ohio, and apparently have NO record I was even THERE Monday when we called Tuesday morning about the Ohio record that was CONFIRMED they actually did receive. Insane right.

@michele, I have to admit I am VERY proud of myself for not only speaking up, correcting their “mis-information” aka fear tactics, but taking matters into my OWN hands, declining tests I did not want or NEED and signing out of the 2nd hospital AMA. Right now I consider myself to be in uber early labor, been having MASSIVE amounts of bloody show since Monday morning, started having contractions but due to some family stress (not my oldest son or boyfriend), my labor completely stalled out ugh.

@TheFeministBreeder, thank you SO MUCH. I am going to check out those links right now. Hell, I am going to PRINT them out! It’s really crazy to me how many people are interested in my uterus and vagina, only because I had major abdominal surgery to deliver my first son due to his footling breech nature. I had even commented at Lutheran General (on Monday) to the one nurse that they would NOT be treating me in that manner (verbal assault from them on the “dangers” of VBAC) if I did not have a previous c-section. I never knew a humans face could turn so hateful and red so quickly heh.


You still haven’t popped yet Miss?! Ahhh, The agony.
.-= {Nikita´s shared blog entry… Vincent’s school.} =-.

Reply to Nikita

Oh my gosh I am so sorry that things haven’t gotten any better. I can’t believe all the scare tactics and trouble that everyone is trying to put you through! Just know that you have tons of support from us, hun. Don’t give up or give in. *hugs*
.-= {Caity´s shared blog entry… Focusing on the positives.} =-.

Reply to Caity

Sarah had her baby this morning at 2:59am! Congratulations Sarah, and welcome to the world Tristan! I hope you make a speedy recovery, and I can’t wait to hear about your birth story and see photos!

Reply to Jenn

Yay! Congratulations sarah! welcome tristan!

how funny the mention of your labor ‘stalling out’ due to stress- wednesday I also felt like something was happening- contractions every 5 minutes or so, painful ones for the first time, pressure in my pelvis and other things. I texted a friend who had ‘back labor’ with her kids (because that’s what I was feeling) and she said yep you’re going soon, and when I was able to stand and walk two hours later I found both my dogs had escaped the house. I had to go out and drag them back home- frightening because neither of them are currently wearing tags. I thought the exertion would send me over the edge, but instead a little later it all stopped. No more laboring since! Oh, well. Was hoping it would start on its own without induction ~sigh

I can’t wait to hear how the birth went! I really hope it was fabulous, really really really fabulous and you can write an epic tale to rub in the faces of those hideous drs. Actually, if the VBAC wasn’t deadly for you guys, you should definitely write an account, citing researched facts for why you did it, and submit hard copies to as many people in the L&D department as possible.

Congratulations again : )

Reply to P.A.

Leave a Comment

Thank you for your comment!
Please Read the Comment Policy.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond via your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL.
Your response will then appear on this post.