I can not stop yawning and I am so freaking tired. Ugh. Sucks.
I can’t even focus on the photography book I checked out from the library yesterday.
Mary brought up a very good point last night, that I’ve been eating poorly since I found my son’s father’s myspace (which included so much additional drama). So I have to start trying to re-focus onto myself again. It’s very hard since I have so much anger and hurt reguarding him. More so that he (for the majority of our son’s life) just refuses to do anything for his son. I’m not perfect by a long shot but geez even I can hold down a job and make sure my son has everything he needs (although according to him all of his toys are old and he needs all new toys). I guess I will be harping on this for awhile. I think what I can’t stand is the sneaking around, the lies, betrayal, mind games. Now mind you I am not in love with him. That died a VERY long time ago, but he still feels the need to claim how much he loves me, wants to marry me, all of that crap while fucking people he meets on MySpace (yeah that was real fun finding that out!). I am so close to letting my anger get the best of me and posting those photos (I have about 10 photographs of him in well a pink nightie…) and then I think that would make me no better than him… well no I am better than him, but posting the photographs wouldn’t prove much except for his manhood (or lack thereof). He sends his friends over here so they can gossip about what I write, and apparently a few of his friends tend to cheat as well. It must be a club or something? I am very rage-ful at the moment. Perhaps because I need carbs (eats a slice of pizza that my boss brought me).
I’ve been playing with my camera but I have no creativity at the moment, partly because it’s so bitterly cold outside and I tend to lean towards nature photography. If there was at least snow I wouldn’t mind so much but bitterly cold for no reason sucks. I wouldn’t mind getting some photo subject suggestions though.
I am so glad tomorrow is Friday because I need to catch up on my sleep desperately. I might just go to bed early tonight if possible.
Anyone know of a place that sells cute but affordable office type supplies? I need to get more organized at home and cuteness helps me do that. Glitter is even better hehe.