The Loss of My Father

July 2nd 2023 / 1 minute to read

My father died on July 2nd, 2023.

He went quietly and peacefully, surrounded by me, my twin sister, and my brother-in-law.

My brother ignored multiple phone calls and texts from all of us. We tried so hard to get him to participate.

My father was 72 years old.

I am not ok.


Likes Instant Messaging by fLaMEd.

View All Notes




Dani - aredfinch

Sorry for your loss and for the whole unnecessarily difficult experiences surrounding his last several weeks. ♥️

Reply to Dani - aredfinch

Thank you, that means a lot. Going forward, I have a lot to handle as I still have to deal with the bank and other things. I am so numb right now. Two parents in four months. Unfathomable.

I’m so sorry about your dad. I know you’re still processing and grieving for your mom. I can’t even imagine the grief you’re experiencing, having lost two parents so close together. I’ll be thinking about you. Sending love and hugs your way.

Thank you, it’s pure survival mode right now.

Jasmin mccarroll

Sarah, I am heartbroken for you & so sorry to hear of this immense loss of your father. I know the situation you’ve been in with your brother these past few months has made everything impossibly difficult; I’ve been following along stunned by what he has put all of you through. In times like these, we always wish we had the “right” words to say to help you find some comfort. I hope you can find a path to healing & recovery after losing your mom, dad, & the chaos of your brother. You were there for your father & did the absolute most & best you could do in these final months. <3

Reply to Jasmin mccarroll

Thank you so much; that means a lot to me. I’ve been calling him almost hourly at this point—no response to me, my twin, or my brother-in-law. We also texted last night asking him to contact us. I’ve left voicemails.

At the end, my singular goal was to make sure my dad wasn’t alone and that it was as calm as possible, and it was.

Sarah, I’m so very sorry. I wish it hadn’t been so soon. Love you.

Thank you, I never could have fathomed this in the darkest crazy parts of my brain.

Stephen Adams

Hello Sarah,

I knew your dad through an online game that he played for more than 20 years. He was beloved and our group loved to help him out, knowing that he was restricted in his ability to play the way he wanted to. He was very intelligent and he shared in our adventures. A man we never met, will be sorely missed.

I want to thank you for taking time in the midst of your intense grief to think of your dad’s online friends and for emailing. Too often people in our community just disappear and we never hear from them again, and after years of a virtual friendship you’re left wondering what’s happened in their life.

I’m very sorry to hear of your mom’s recent passing as well, and send you wishes that the friends and family near you are able to help support you through this impossible time.

Reply to Stephen Adams

Thank you for your comment; it means so much to me!

My dad loved his MUD games and communities and would always tell us about the different people he would talk to, and how far away some of them were, it was reminiscent of his HAM radio days.

Dearest Sarah,

I am so sorry for your loss. Your father’s passing is truly a loss to us all. I am one of the admins in the online MUD your father played. I knew your father since I began playing in online in the late 1990’s. We would role-play and run in groups together. He would design quests and activities for the other role-players and I would help make sure they were implemented. His online network of friends was vast and he was dearly loved and admired.

I am working on a memorial for him in our online community. I am not sure how much you know about MUDs and how they work, but I will do my best to make sure that it is a fitting and lasting tribute. You are welcome to be part of it if you would like, or I can send you a copy of what it looks like when we are done, or not. This is completely up to you and your comfort level.

If there is anything that you feel that I, or the gaming community, can do for you. Do not hesitate to ask. Your father spoke of you with great love. Our hearts break to know you have experienced so much loss in such a short time.


Tammantha Diehl, aka Romani

Thank you for your comment; it means the world to me!

I have many memories of Dad playing your MUD on his computer and telling me stories of everyone who played. I love hearing how involved and active he was. He was why I got into anything and everything to do with computers.

Thank you for taking the time to make a memorial for him; I know a bit about MUDs through my dad and my twin sister, who met my niece’s father through one! I absolutely would love a copy of it when you’re done. I would treasure that. Truly.

This is such an intense time, and it saddens me that I could not do everything he wanted in the end due to my sibling. I still have the smallest bit of hope I will somehow retrieve his laptop and belongings, as he stored decades of files related to your MUD and other games on it.

Thank you so much for your generosity!

I am so sorry for your loss. My words are not sufficient, I know. But please know you’re in my thoughts, and I’m praying for you and wishing you nothing but good vibes, peace, and comfort.

Thank you, that means a lot to me!

Leave a Comment

Thank you for your comment!
Please Read the Comment Policy.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To respond via your own website, enter the URL of your response which should contain a link to this post's permalink URL.
Your response will then appear on this post.